My x-girlfriend and mother of my child just moved out almost a week ago. She is a recovering NA addict and is still going to meetings. She hurt me a lot with the drug use . she started using after our child was born he is almost 1 year old. We moved in a little before he was born. She moved out because things at home were not good. I didnt trust her and that hurt her a lot. I was not very supportive of her recovery and was angry at home all the time. She lied so much before it was hard for me to trust her again. We got into an argument and she moved back to her moms. We are going to a therapist together now. I just don't know what to do to get her back. She said she needs her time to love herself again, She was abused at home and i think thats why she got into drugs. So now she is off the drugs and is finding herself and wants to be free of me for now. I want to call her all the time but i dont want to seem like im always going to be there and be desperate even annoying. Some people say limit the talking to just when we drop the child off and at our sessions. She wants to see that we can communicate with each other but i just dont want to over do it.

Hi Rodney

Are you Christian? This is an absolutely perfect opportunity for both you and your wife to renew yourself with God. He is a specialist at resolving pain, bitterness, anger, addiction, and a litany of other earthly things that corrupt each of us.

I went through a horrid marriage for many years, came to the brink of divorce and walked the line in more ways than one. I was out of hope. I had nowhere to turn. So I turned to God and began to trust him for the first time in my life.

The rest is history.

Email me if you want guidance. I'll teach you everything I know. Your relationship can be beautiful again. All can be renewed for good.. with God's help

OWF

Just don't drink the Cool Aid....

AGG

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Rodney, you both sound like you could use a great deal of counseling and learning. Sometimes these are best done separately, giving you time to come to grips with your own issues and to get to know yourself. If it were me, I'd accept the time apart, keep in close touch for the sake of the baby, spend as much time together (but not necessarily living together) as you can, to get to know each other all over again - but from an honest, loving perspective. Keep it healthy, in other words.

As long as she's in a healthy environment with her mom, it can't hurt for you both to spend some time working on your relationship this way. Kind of like courtship all over again. But with less pressure. However, her moving back could put a lot of stress on her and her mom and may lend to more abuse; I'd keep a close eye on that, in case you need to suggest that she'd be better off back in your home.

But above all, start learning about how to have a healthy relationship. See if she will go over all the material here, together with you. Maybe you could arrange dinners where you study one piece of the MB puzzle from here each time, including the questionnaires, in conjunction with what you're doing with the counselor. Just take it slow, prove to her you're offering her a stable, loving, non-judgmental home to come back to. (but make sure she's pulling her own weight and you're not doing all the work)

And feel free to come here and bounce ideas off of us.

Good luck.

Im going to surprise her at work today and ask her out to lunch. Its would be a week tomorrow. Some advice i got was try once this week and see if she says yes and if she does try again next week and ask her if this is helping us get to know each other more or if its not. If not i will just have to move on i guess and give her all the space she wants and just keep it to picking up the baby and out couples sessions.
I just don't get how someone leaves there family