Ok, now I'm 3 months into her Plan D.

I've got a very long post down there that describes a lot of what has gone on, and I know there's a lot of you out there who would be plenty happy to see me ditch the *itch and just move on with my life and keep fighting her for my son.

I can't say that it isn't tempting... very tempting.

I'm not going to give up on my marriage because I still have a massive quantity of love for my wife. I don't know and understand exactly where it comes from other than I know that God wants me to stand for my marriage, and for my family. Until He directs me elsewhere.. that's what I'm going to do.

I believe that MB's Plans offer me the best chance of success.

For 2 months after she left I pretty much begged, pleaded, tried to educate, and really made a mess of things. Not a real good Plan A.. and I think I'm going to need to do a -great- one before Plan B is going to have any effect. Actually I think OP is -pushing- for her to sever all contact with me and the indications I get from her sometimes suggest that she'd see it is a godsend, and my 'permission' for her to continue the A.

I want to do the best Plan A I can from afar. I've come to realize in a large part of my self-evaluation that I generally have to have things my way, and anyone elses way isn't right. I'm working to change that and realize that my way at least in this instance has sucked eggs. I need help, ideas, suggestions.

I've got the Do's and Don'ts of Plan A in my back pocket and am trying my best to follow them.

I've also been reading MWIL's success story and I really want to get there. I know that success through Plan A is rare.. but he did an -outstanding- job from what I can tell.

My problem is, that as I read his post, he maintained good communication with his WW throughout. I've been mostly cut off. The only thing I can figure to do at this point is wait for the openings as they present themselves, on the rare occasion she seems to initiate conversation.

She seems to be a textbook case of 'Methinks she does protest too much'.. and her lies and half truths are getting more and more rediculous by the day. I honestly think that if I am warm, caring, and loving to her that she'll crack a little bit and start letting me in.

She never really had 'friends' while we were married, and shared her life almost entirely with me and her sister. I honestly think that if I can start being her confidant again, that she will start emotionally responding to me again.

I've already done exposure.. her family does -not- support her, but they're not actively pressuring her either.. matter of fact she's avoiding them, and may not even show up at Thanksgiving this year at SIL's house. This is VERY out of character for her, and puts her in a position she once held her -younger- sister in just a year ago. (older sister hosts the holidays generally).

Really I'm just looking for ideas, things I can keep in my back pocket to help get me back in there and get her to open up a little. I know and understand that it's going to take time, infinite patience, and I won't see results as fast as I'd like to... I understand that because I'm already slowly slowly seeing results due to just the consistency of me looking/smelling nice and being friendly when we do the exchanges.

She's making excuses (usually about the kids) to call me, and trying whenever she gets the chance to push a button that might have caused me to LB in the past... but I'm keeping my cool and responding in a caring and warm manner now.

Like I keep saying.. I just need ideas.. suggestions.. things to try. How do you meet EN's when they won't give you the opportunity?

If I had to categorize her top 5 EN's

1) Conversation
2) Adoration
3) Financial Support
4) Affection
5) SF

Honestly.. the only one I'm getting to meet right now is #3.. OM gets the rest. That kinda sucks for me.

The only reason #3 is getting met is because of the court order for support and temporary custody.

The EN's I most often met in our marriage related to Financial, Family and Domestic Support.. which I've come to realize don't really matter much to her.. at least they don't seem to because I had them down bigtime.