SG,

I didn't have to go to Plan B. My brilliant Plan A (yeah...RIGHT!) did the trick.

I was at the point of preparing Plan B when the turn around happened, so I'm not an expert in Plan B. But I'm not talking about just moving to Plan B. Plan B isn't about ending the game and stopping the ride, only about you no longer participating in the game as an active player and getting yourself off the ride.

Plan B isn't the end, it is only a break. It's Half Time. You get to go into the locker room, regroup and prepare for the push in the second half. The thing is, you aren't going to be on the field until the very end of the game. You're just going to hang out and have fun with your friends and teammates while waiting for the guys on the field to get the ball back so you can make a play.

During Plan B you don't do anything about WH or the A or OW or any of that [email]cr@p.[/email] You just rest, relax, regroup and regenerate.

And just like the QB standing on the sidelines waiting for the defense to get the ball back, you sit and wait to see what he will do when he no longer has you to lean on, when he discovers that you are not his mother but his wife and you won't be taking care of him unless he is taking care of you.

And then you just wait...a month...6 months...a year...2 years...If he isn't home begging your forgiveness by then, he might not ever get it, so then you decide if the game is over for you, but even then, it is you who stops waiting for him, not the other way around.

Mark

Sexy,

I am SO happy for your and your H right now. You are such an inspiration and hope for me. I feel like I am the worse case on here and am truly in darkness tonight.

I read Torah tonight and Isaiah was the portion that G-d took me to about his plan will not be thwarted. Scary, I know. Just what I needed.

So, if it can happen for you, G-d can make it happen for me if he so desires.

Now, let's prepare me for Plan B. Do I have to have a separation agreement in place? If so, it will be about 2 months until it can be done. I have to write a letter right? Can I write it here and have it ready to go?

Mark,

Thank you for the analogy. I totally understand what you are saying.

So, what are the preparations I need to make from your perspective. Knowing that my WH has no respect for me, how can I claim it back?

Thank you all for helping me,
SG

The Separation Agreement, protecting yourself and asking for what you rightfully deserve in conjunction with PLAN B results in the respect.

Getting a legal separation could take up to 2 months. Should I move forward with it?

I am not so convinced I can do as well financially as I am doing now. What do you think?

SG

That's where the RESPECT comes in..ask for what you are getting NOW.

Why would it take 2 months? I got mine in a few days. Had a lawyer to draw it up and my H came in and signed it.

I asked you where you lived in the other post. The lawyer I went to go see told me it takes 6 weeks to get it filed and I don't have the money right now.

I have NO challenge asking for every penny I can get. I always WARNED him, I am the first wife with the kids. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> But seriously, I have needed to move from my house and my boys are being forced to live a completely different lifestyle because of his A.

I think he should suffer for that financially, don't you?

SG

ABSOLUTELY, He should SUFFER. Why did you need to move from your house? Does he live there?

Tell him that you need some EXTRA MONEY for an EMERGENCY and use it to pay for the lawyer. She most definitely is getting money from him that is rightfully YOURS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I live in NC, making potato salad today. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey Mimi,

I have a G-d question. As I work to become the loving woman and wife that G-d always meant me to be. Where does having him suffer fall into loving. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The old me would have him suffering. The new me, just wants to love him. Does that make sense? What do you think?

My H and I made foolish financial mistakes. In order for me to continue living in the house, I needed his entire paycheck. After consulting with a lawyer, there was NO WAY H would have kept giving me his entire paycheck. He did it while he has income from the old man, that she took care of. But once he did and there wasn't anymore money. No, he lives in a 800 sq ft. 1917 shack that is so old and has so much mold the ceiling bows.

It's on land which is something he always wanted to have with his family. Now he has it, but no family. Only her.

There is no doubt she is getting money that should be mine. She doesn't work and lives off of him completely. In fact, she gets money from the state for her hep c.

Yummy, how do you make it?

SG

The BEST ANSWER to this question is in the book LOVE MUST BE TOUGH by DODSON.

You don't want to ENABLE his AFFAIR. You want him to SUFFER the consequences OF HIS OWN ACTIONS. You want to gain his RESPECT of YOU. You aren't being CRUEL to HIM. HE is doing this TO HIMSELF. As a man, it's his responsibility to take care of his family. So he is not being a GODLY MAN. As long as you follow PROVERBS 31, you are being a GODLY WIFE,IMO....That's where the COOKING comes in...as a part of this... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey there,

I have to go read Provers 31. I don't know my bible too well. But I am learning.

I read that book. Either I wasn't in a good place or I am missing something. Let me read it again and see what you mean.

The other book I am reading is winning your husband back before it's too late, by Gary Smalley. Have you read that.

The responsibility part - he doesn't want responsibility. That's what part of this is about. He just wants to have fun and put himself first. Or is that just alienation stuff.

SG

Last night when I got home from California, I emailed him to let him know we had reached home safe and sound.

I also told him that I wasn't using the camera and asked him if he wanted it back until my son's next tournament. I find it fascinating that he mentioned he was glad we were home safe and had a good weekend (we were gone for a week), and said nothing about the camera that was so important to him two weeks ago.

That's why I don't think he is dealing in a full deck. One other thing that I noticed, which may seem small to someone else, when he emailed my son to have a good time at Louise's. My H would NEVER had said Louise, it would ALWAYS have been Aunt Louise.

His sense of reality is off. Is that normal?

SG

YEP...now you are getting it..He is NO LONGER YOUR HUSBAND...temporary insanity...CRAZY ALIEN.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

This is BASICALLY the Potato Salad recipe... I make it like my Grandmother did...

INGREDIENTS
5 potatoes
3 eggs
1 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup sweet pickle relish
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
1/4 teaspoon celery salt
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
ground black pepper to taste
1/4 cup mayonnaise


DIRECTIONS
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add potatoes and cook until tender but still firm, about 15-30 minutes. Drain, cool, peel and cut up.
Place eggs in a saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring water to a boil; cover, remove from heat, and let eggs stand in hot water for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from hot water, cool, peel and chop.
In a large bowl, combine the potatoes, eggs, celery, onion, relish, garlic salt, celery salt, mustard, pepper and mayonnaise. Mix together well and refrigerate until chilled.

And this crazy alien will come back one day?

The scary part - is if you talk to him, he makes complete sense and people just accept what he is saying. Why is that?

Oh yum, I am copying this down for the records. Is this a tradition for this time of year?

SG

Here is a crazy one, is it possible to fall more and more in love with them while they are this alien or is something else going on with me?

Ok, I read proverbs 31 and didn't get it. Please be patient, I am learning the torah. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SG

To give or to not give,

WH and I have spoken more today than we have in a LONG time. He is such the WH though. Can you believe this one.
One more alienation attitude is the cynicalism in him now. He was NEVER that way before. OW certainly hasn't brought out the best in him.

We were kinda having a nice emailing back and forth, I told him how I was making Thanksgiving dinner for me and the kids and asked him if he would like some stuffing. He said yes and then asked for the recipe if possible. I KNOW he must be doing drugs if he thinks I am going to give him a family recipe so she can make it for him. Or would a g-dly woman do that?

And the answer is?

He also had some smart aliky remark about my daughters boyfriend who he can't stand and comparing my son to him. He is lost - I wonder where the real man is?

Any ideas where they go?

SG

Heck no! Don't give him the recipe! OW wouldn't be able to make it the right way anyway!

They are trapped inside their bodies by the alien. IMO

Still there, but barely able to resurface.

Hi Charlotte,

How can I answer him lovingly without pissing him off that I won't give him the recipe.

It's amazing how angry he is inside. For someone who is supposed to be with the woman he loves, he sure doesn't act like it.

How much fun he must be right now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I even commented on how incredible beautiful it must be where he is living and that's what he always wanted. All he could say was yes and complain on how cold.

G-d is certainly busy in his life.

SG

Hi SG!

He don't sound vewy happy, do he? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I would just tell the truth. It is a family recipe only to be passed to the next generation. If he gets mad, too bad. He should have stuck around to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

No freebies!!!!

I think this is PERFECT and fairly ACCURATE!!

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GIVE HIM THE RECIPE!!

Remember the GOAL is for him to DISCONTINUE this DISRESPECT!!