SG,

Smartie here. SMB is right on the money--you can do this. Look at it this way: any woman who can lose 73 lbs, kick addiction, hold down a job, raise teenage kids and still find time to lend support to another BW in NC can do ANYTHING. (Certainly Plan A a silly ol' wayward... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)

Keep us posted!

Correction... I meant silly ol' H!!! LOL

I DID IT!

He answered and it blew me away. He was cautious at first. He asked "what's up".

I said, well I have a weird question, I am wanting to join an ultimate frisbee team (which is actually the truth), and I need someone to help me get ready. I was wondering if you would help me. He was silent at first, and then we talked about where the team was that I was looking at. I had looked online to find possible teams. And then we talked about the boys.

He acknowledged the email I sent him by saying he emailed my YS, I told him thank you and I really appreciated that. And he kept talking.

He thanked me for the stuffing and the jello. He asked for the RECIPE, and I calmly said it was in my head. He named off the ingredients, but I never told him how much. I just kept saying, yes I can do it that way or not. He tried making it, but it wasn't right. Of course not, he didn't use the right ingredients and I didn't offer what he was doing wrong. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And then in the end he said that would be a possibility and when would I like to go. I said, well check your schedule and let me know what works for you. He offered a couple of suggestions for getting ready and I thanked him.

He told me he would talk to me soon. I KNOW he is interested in doing it. You see, and this is the BRILLIANT part, in college, one of our most favorite things to do together was play frisbee. In fact, I KNOW he would like to play on a team again.

Mimi,

I am bowing at your feet for helping me.

Thank you all so much and your belief that I could do it. Next step in building my confidence.

SG

[PM jumping up and down with her pompoms cheering SG on... Goooo SG!] Mimi is brilliant, isn't she?

I think I am in shock he answered, let alone said it was a possibility.

YES!!!!!

SG

SG-

Great Job following awesome advice!

Ultimate frisbee eh? There are lots of tournaments at the Skagit River Park just down the road from me-if you ever do come up this way, let me know and I'll wander on down and watch.

Ok.. seriously.. Mimi.. I'm in your waiting room.. let me know when the Dr. is in <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Congrats Skinsgal.. make sure you don't go into this with expectations.. just have a good time with a guy. NO PRESSURE.

Please don't BOW to me. You and I both know who is all in this and that's who we need to BOW to...who brought ME here..to be mentored during my trials..and now passing on down to you..it gives me the CHILLS..how AWESOME and GREAT..HE is...

And then there's YOU...it's YOU..that knows YOUR OWN HUSBAND..I got out my calculator..married for 24 years...YOU KNOW HIM..TRUST YOUR GUT..I'm your BOOSTER..you basically know what to do...

It was YOU that came up with THE FRISBEE IDEA..I never heard of ULTIMATE FRISBEE TEAMS... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I want you to TAKE A BOW..while we CLAP....

Do you realize all of the ENs that you showed the potential to MEET in THAT ONE CONVERSATION..AWESOME, AWESOME PLAN A STUFF...CONVERSATION, ADMIRATION..asking for his help..RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP...and next PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS...what's going to be "THE OUTFIT" for this occasion...

You're gonna call him again and invite him out once you have it ALL PLANNED...

Isn't it exciting??? Like going on a date...

But yes, DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM HIM although he has GIVEN more than we expected...

He's been MISSING YOU, of course, in your "modified Plan B" (or whatever)..that is some VALUABLE INFO.

This is gonna be about GIVE, GIVE, GIVE...meeting those needs...

What I learned was that I HAD THE PLAN. My WH was CLUELESS....

So continue to "WORK IT, GIRL!!"....

How does HE LIKE FOR YOU TO DRESS??

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

SG

SO AWESOME!!! Mimi is the goddess queen. I'll help you pick an oufit (via telephone/email of course) so you can start to blow WH away--and bring H back!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Smartie

Mimi,

Actually we have been together for over 29 years. I KNOW he needs to be #1 in my life, plain and simple and somehow my Plan A has to create that no matter what.

I can ASSURE you, the entire time I was on the phone, thanking G-d and praying to him for his gift and blessing of what was happening. Right after the call, I kept telling G-d over and over how much I appreciated his gift and to please use me as he needed so that I could be in his will at all times.

Ultimate frisbee teams was another G-d gift. This summer when H was waffling about coming home, and I was doing a Plan A of recreational companionship, I went to one of his lacrosse games. Across the field they were playing ultimate frisbee. After his game and us talking, I told him that I would look into a frisbee team and he said he would like to play. I KNEW the walk wouldn't really interest him b/c he can do that with her. BUT the frisbee, that is OUR thing and I could hear it in his voice how interested he was. And he kept talking and asking questions.

I was so grateful for this opportunity, that you are so right, it was a gift from G-d and no one else.

You don't think I should wait and see if he calls me first? I could give it until next week, and then call him again. That would be AFTER I bring hot latkes down to him on Tuesday in honor of Hanukkah.

AND I happen to have a small gift of pictures of my son and his neices. What do you THINK?

As for dress? I have been so fat for so many years, he never gave my dress a second thought. He hasn't seen me since I was down 50 lbs and now it's almost 78. I was thinking about wearing my spandex pants, with my hold them in underwear and a little tight sweatshirt. What do you think? I am taking ANY suggestions.

Smartiepants - you are ON to help me pick out an outfit.

As you all say, I NEED to keep this in perspective. YES, it was a AWESOME call, but he didn't say YES. He only said it was a possibility. I have NO expectations that he really will meet me, but I am TAKING this one small moment and thanking G-d and for those of you who have been kind and patient to help me.

Mimi,

Build me confidence moment please - He's been MISSING YOU, of course, in your "modified Plan B" (or whatever)..that is some VALUABLE INFO.

How do you KNOW this? And what can I do with this INFO?

SG

Sexy,

Thank you for your encouragement. And you are right, I am MAKING the impact on him.

JT, I promise that if I can make a team and we show up there, I am so there to meet you. How fun is that?

Hey Smartie, you are the best and I can't wait to meet you one day. We are going to HAVE so much fun.

Jamesus, trust me, I have this in perspective. He said it was a possiblity, not yes. But he did take it a tad further and make a suggestion on how to train for it. The truth is, I would love to get on a frisbee team and would love to have him join me, so he REALLY would be helping me train for something that is NEW, Healthy, and completely different than the OLD me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mimi,

I am up for more confidence building. What's next? It doesn't necessarily need to include the H, but working on myself. OK?

Sleep well all of you. May G-d bless us with a restful night and peace knowing he is working in our lives no matter what.

SG

How about one of those E-cards? I only know about the ones that you get on the site that sells book and starts with an A....they have funny ones with songs...

"I so enjoyed talking with you today..you helped me so much with my plans to train for the frisbee team." ( or whatever SG wants to say)....SHORT BUT SWEET...

Good morning,

I am SO THERE on the card. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

How is your day going?

SG

I'm glad you're sending the card!!

We'll give him awhile and then he probably needs another call.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I would imagine an appreciation card would be best.

Ok, girl, I am your willing student ready to learn, work and DO.

I am so grateful.

And one day, G-d willing I can help someone through their time and journey.

SG

You are da woman!

I knew you could do it. I'm proud of you, SG.

And what a brilliant idea...something OW CAN'T do with him. What good memories this could stir up!

I like the card idea, too.

And following up with him once you have the plans. You asked about waiting to see if he calls; but I see that as, perhaps, expecting something from him. Then you are setting yourself up for an ride on the roller coaster.

Don't test him to see if you are making an impact. You already know you are. It doesn't really matter if he calls about it. What matters is that he sees you wanting to meet his needs.

Sexy,

Oh thank you so much for your support. I can't tell you how nervous I was. Like a teenage girl. Hard to believe I have been with this man for over 29 years the way I act.

I see what you mean. Though I don't want to seem like I am pressuring him. I do want to clarify, you think I should not wait for him to call me or in my mind not even give it thought?

My goal is for him to KNOW that he is NUMBER ONE in my life.

Mimi is working hard to build my confidence. What suggestions do you have for me?

SG

You already are.

I'm pulling for you SG!

Sexy,

Oh thank you so much for your support. I can't tell you how nervous I was. Like a teenage girl. Hard to believe I have been with this man for over 29 years the way I act.

I see what you mean. Though I don't want to seem like I am pressuring him. I do want to clarify, you think I should not wait for him to call me or in my mind not even give it thought?

My goal is for him to KNOW that he is NUMBER ONE in my life.

Mimi is working hard to build my confidence. What suggestions do you have for me?

For the two of you,

How do you KNOW that I am making an impact. This is where things are a little cloudy for me.

James, You know how much I am pulling for you.

SG

How do they know you're making an impact?

YOU know you're making an impact.

Would that conversation have happened a month ago?