Happy Chanukkah!

I loved it when we had celebrations at the JCC. For Chanukkah I got to read the story of Jason and the Maccabees to the kids.

I'm glad you have some commentaries. Those are the best place to start. They are like Cliff's Notes for the bible.

Your experience at AA was what a friend of mine calls "A God thing." Both you and the other lady had a big confirmation of His care for you. It's sooo cool when that happens.

Nathan was a prophet of God during the time of David. When David committed adultery with Bathsheba (while his armies were out fighting for the kingdom) and got her pregnant and had her husband killed so he could cover it up-God sent Nathan to David and Nathan told David a story about a rich man and his poor neighbor in a certain town. The rich guy had lots of sheep and cattle and the poor man only had one sheep that he raised with his kids and it was like a daughter to him.

When the rich man had a guest over, he took the one sheep from the poor man and prepared it for his guest. David was so mad that he said "As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this deserves to die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity."
Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man!"

And then Nathan tells David the whole "hidden" truth and the consequences that David's family would suffer for his sin.

The good part of the story is that David repented. "I have sinned against Lord." (2 Sam 12)

God knows who can be a Nathan for your WH.

I absolutely believe that God is using this time to bring you into a deeper faith and understanding of Him and your faith in Him. It's like a scene in one of the Narnia books (not the first one) where the children return to Narnia and the girls throw their arms around Aslan. One of them exclaims "Aslan, you've gotten bigger!" and he replies "no children, you've gotten older." It's like the more we learn, the bigger God becomes for us, and the more our faith grows and so on....

Job is a tough read during most of the first part because it is written in cycles-which was the way they wrote poetry stories in those days. I'd read a commentary on that part and start in the chapters where God speaks to Job (ch 38).
That's where God reveals His sovereignty, His control of all of creation and eternity, and His power. It's where God gets "bigger" for me.

Did you lose power? We don't lose it in my neighborhood because it's pretty new and our power lines are buried. Someone finally realized that was probably a good idea in a valley.

Happy Chanukkah, SkinsGirl.

Sorry your son is so sad. I would continue the other traditions and make them important to your family.

SG,

May God supply His light in your life and for your family as well.

Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear."

Mark

Thank you all so much,

I really feel the care and warmth and I am so appreciative of it.

After feeling sorry for myself or that OLD victim role (YUK), I went to a friend's got my haircut and then went over to my hubby's friends house and helped him sew one more thing. It was there that something hit me and on the way home I called YS and told him he had 5 minutes to get home and we would be lighting candles together. He KNEW not to balk with me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We lit candles and said the blessings and I told them that our family may not BE what is WAS, but WE ARE A FAMILY.

And then the little miracle happened. For the FIRST time really, my H called the boys when I was at my AA meeting to wish them a Happy Chanukkah.

He talked to MS about lacrosse and was using the information that I GAVE him. He is listening and reading every word I am writing him.

My kids WOULD NEVER admit it, but I KNOW it touched them or they wouldn't have told me. I let the boys tell me what he said, and didn't ask any questions and walked in my room and thanked G-d. I am PRAISING G-d for this miracle.

My Plan is to take him fresh made latkes tomorrow at work, leave him a card and pictures of YS, Neices and MS and myself.

I bought him a book on the civil war because he LOVES history and I got him a box of ALMOND ROCA, which was his mom's favorite candy. It's not to much HE likes it as I KNOW that it was his mom's favorite.

I am wearing my red chinese shirt that really shows off my weight loss and will really fix myself up with makeup. Though HE doesn't like me in make up. I DO.

G-d graced me with a special gift tonight, and I am very GRATEFUL.

Sweet dreams everyone,
SG

OK, he called all THREE of our kids last night. YEAH!!

I don't know if that means anything other than it's the first time HE HAS reached out to them.

G-d is good.

Wish me luck, please. Give me courage to be the best I can be. CHIN UP, HEAD UP, and love in my heart.

SG

YOU are doing SO WONDERFULLY!

I am SOOO HAPPY for YOU!

Yes, GOD is GREAT and GOD is GOOD!!

OH Mimi,

Thank you SO MUCH. I just got done doing my prayers. I said the one that PM told me to say and I prayed to G-d to direct me to Psalm 119. I read it as surrending to G-d and his thy will be done.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!

How are you doing today?

I am a NERVOUS WRECK, I feel like a school girl facing her BEAU.

But that's exactly what it is. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

How FUN.

Ok, I'm back. I am still SHAKING.

I think he was BLOWN AWAY at my weight lost. He asked me why I was dressed so fancy. I glossed over that.

It was still the WH for sure. He thanked me, bragged about himself making latkes last night, and lighting candles. He told me he had called all 3 kids, got a cold reception from one of them. I thanked him very much and told him how much I appreciated him doing that.

He was involved in work, so I left. Then went downstairs and spoke to a co-worker I know. Found out WH boss was there and went back upstairs. We talked a while more about incidental stuff. I tried to get him to laugh, but he was WH. I wanted MORE time with him.

I asked him how work was going. He kept looking at me I think amazed at how I looked. I look REALLY good today, red is such a good color on me.

We talked a few minutes about the kids, our house, and then he showed me his business card. And said I'm somebody now, I quickly said "YOU ALWAYS WERE SOMEBODY".

I found out he had been sick with 102 temperature over the weekend. I asked him if he got my message, but I don't think he heard me, and I don't think he did.

So, I am thinking that maybe I should email him and find out if he got my message. Because if not, then SHE got it and do I want to do anything with that?

Then I went downstairs and introduced myself to HIS boss and had a wonderful conversation with him. I love meeting and talking to new people.

It's defintely the WH and as soon as I left, he went back to work. He didn't eat the latkes or open the package.

BUT - our family picture is still on his desk. Me when I was fat. AND now, he has a NEW picture of me.

So, COMMENTS, SUGGESTIONS, CHANGES, NEXT IDEA?

SG

Oh,

And I got him to GIVE me a Chanukkah hug. Complete with feeling how much weight I have LOST and wearing the perfume that he likes or at least knows it's me.

He didn't comment about my new glasses. I think he was in SHOCK. Or really who knows.

SG

Sounds like you did great B.. I'm really pulling for you and praying for you.

Happy Channukkah!!!

Keep with the constant goodness, and I think you'll do ok. God is our strength in this time, and He's obviously leading you down a good path. Feel proud of yourself, bask in it for a little while, and then get back to work on you.

You're doing great.. remember to give thanks for all the positives.

Thank James,

How much is constant goodness versus overload?

Oh trust me, I was praising G-d as soon as I walked out of there.

I really don't think it made an impact to the WH. HOWEVER, the physical changes are just to overwhelming not to see. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When I was driving there was a sign that said Praise the Glory of G-d or something like that. And that's just what I was doing.

I LOVE this man so much. But this battle with SATAN is SO FAR from even being dented.

SG

I'm not sure of the distinction between constant goodness and overload. MEDC would probably tell you at the point where your goodness loses respect for you in the eyes of your wayward.

I don't know the answer to that.. I'm simply letting God direct me.. I've -not- taken some opportunities.. and I've made opportunities in places I maybe shouldn't have.

We'll see how it turns out. Life's the journey, not the destination... If God can bring you to it, He can bring you through it. (Yup.. stolen from one of the emails I've gotten recently)

Be good to you today.

James,

My WH has NO RESPECT for me what so ever. I am learning how to gain respect by respecting myself.

Somehow I need to get the mind set that if he still chooses to live with crack addict, then HE is the LOSER. Not me and certainly not our children. BECAUSE I am carrying on the traditions, standing up for my M and creating the life that G-d always wanted me to have and being the woman he always envisioned.

I will say, and please beat this out of me. I feel like I am competing with the OW. Sad, but true.

SG

My MIND is playing tricks with me and NOW my emotions.

I keep going over the time I had with WH. And my sadness is taking hold b/c, well you know. It was WH that I saw and not my H.

Please help me reinforce in my mind. I am the WIFE, the one with the children, the one with the memories and respect. HOLD my CHIN UP, and know that even if WH doesn't notice how good I LOOK, almost everyone I have come into contact with today has complimented me.

This wasn't about him, but being the best I can be and giving him a taste of what our NEW life could be like.

So, in times like this, what is a good prayer to say to help me get through it. B/C I just found myself saying to G-d, if MY HUSBAND is really HAPPY being gone, then tell me and help me move on.

Is that STUPID to think? Please help me get centered again.

SG

GREAT!!


GREAT!! He noticed. Men are very visual and this will be retained in his MEMORY even if and when he does not want to remember.



OF COURSE!! This is to be ACCEPTED and EXPECTED during PLAN A.



GREAT!! YOU ARE DOING WONDERFUL!! All that counts is YOU!!



WOW!! You go, GIRL!! Wonderful! Wonderful! I'm being sincere. You are WOWing me on how wonderful you did. Just think of the COURAGE that this took. I don't think you would have been able to do this a few weeks ago.



PERFECT!!



OK! NOW, I'm really holding my mouth open..YOU ARE A STAR!!

Do you know how come Bugsy's WH is called Dracula? The BETTER YOU ARE, THE MORE EFFECT that you have, the WORSE they are...

SG, I had absolutely no idea of the effect that my PLAN A had on my H until he came home. HE WILL NOT LET YOU KNOW. You have to know yourself and BELIEVE ME, you were almost PERFECT.

I'm mostly happy FOR YOU. You held your head up, met his needs for PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, ADMIRATION, CONVERSATION..gave a slice of history, staked your claim on him at the office..WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL..YOU ARE DEVELOPING CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF, LOVING YOURSELF and I'm sure that it showed. You are clearly communicating that YOU ARE A STAR and regardless of how wayward that you want to be, my dear HUSBAND, the "CREAM IS RISING TO THE TOP"....

Thanks so much Mimi,

This really helps to make me FEEL better. The only one thing I wished I had thought of sooner, was telling his boss to ask for some of the latkes that I brought. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

One opportunity wasted.

So what could be next in MY PLAN?

I actually always wondered why Bugsy's WH was called that. Thanks for telling me.

SG

Oh,

I should also fill in that HIS Boss knows that we are separated. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

He should think WH is a fool.

What do you think about HUBBY calling the kids last night? My DD told me that it was weird. She is the one child who isn't really angry, but TRULY sees how different he is.

Also, should I investigate to see if Hubby got my phone message asking him to come by and see me and tellig him something about the football player that I might?

SG

I know you're Jewish but there's a scripture in the New Testament that says we're to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. In other words, YOU put up a big red stop sign when you start thinking like that. That's stinkin thinkin! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Exactly. But H may have been in there somewhere trying to peek out. You're the LIGHTHOUSE that will shine on and show him how to escape.


That's right. Your place is beside your husband. He's not around right now so you're standing in for your family as a woman of destiny powered by prayer.


Exactly. When you see WH remember... NO EXPECTATIONS.


"Father thank you for the courage you provided today and for helping me plant the seeds. I KNOW You are in control. YOU are my strength. YOU are my shield. YOU are my fortress. With YOU, all things are possible and even though my eyes cannot see anything right now, my faith remains in YOU."

PRINCESS..meggy...

YOU ARE WONDERFUL!!

I love, love, love what you have to say...your words of PRAYER!!

What a BLESSING you are....