Hehe.. Oh yeah <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good job SG..

I've got to figure out a male counterpart to this Goddess club.. I mean.. I'm lookin -dang- good these days..lost another 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks and am back down to the weight I met my wife at.. -and- was coincidentally the best shape of my life.. nice to know I can still get there at 31..

Maybe I should get the plan on the Biggest Loser.. be a coach.. my plan is easy.. it takes a while but it -works-.. fall in love.. then get your heart trampled on.. 30 pounds the easy way!

Ahh.. ok.. no..

But anyhow.. down 40 pounds total.. and fitting into my -old- 'gig' clothes and looking and smelling better than I ever have in my life.

I know SG's with me on that!

Kick it into full Goddess mode!

HI there,

I hope everyone is having a GREAT Saturday.

Well, I called and left a message yesterday. He didn't call me back, BUT, I found out last night that my MS CALLED his dad and invited him to come to his game. He WENT and stopped by to see MS after the game.

I found out that WH needed to get the rest of his stuff out of the garage today so he couldn't make the first game. I CALLED him and left a message about how well the team did and told him when the NEXT game was and that I hope he could come.

He NEVER called me back, BUT, at the end of the game, I called HIM and he was there. I asked him if he was ALONE and invited him to come over. I told him that I had BOUGHT him a t-shirt and to come get it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

WH wanted to see MS, so he did. We all THREE walked out to the car, I INVITED him to come to dinner, but he declined. Then we got to the car, I gave him the shirt which was personalized info about our son and then invited him to come to dinner one more time, MY TREAT. He said no.

I am ALMOST POSITIVE, he is afraid to be around me OR he can't be without HER. I am SHOCKED he came there without her.

We talked about the camera battery not holding it's weight and he said, WE would have to invest into a new one probably. I don't know if he MEANT me and him or Him and her? I didn't ask. I think I will CALL him about the battery and find out what he wants me to LOOK for. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

He said LOVE YOU to MS and guess what, MS responded back, LOVE YOU TOO. I wanted to jump for joy, BUT more importantly I PRAISED AND THANKED G-D. For this tiny miracle.

He explained to MS that he might not be able to make it to his game tomorrow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I LOVE seeing him and want MORE.

I bragged about having 3 layers of clothing on, two pairs of pants and three shirts. The one top shirt was tight on me at one time and I wanted him to know that I had two more underneath and THIS shirt was still huge.

Plus, I went to the tanning booth yesterday and worked on my tan. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

On the only down note: I REALLY get the IMPRESSION, this time and when I saw HIM Wednesday, that he is VERY uncomfortable around me. I am like a bother, or he can't wait to get away from him, like I am poison. What am I doing wrong?

So, ladies and gentlemen,

My next Plan A step?

Warmly,
SG

YOUR PLAN IS WORKING, SG!!!

This is about you, GODDESS SG!!

Hallelujah!!

Doesn't a GODDESS get to wear PINK, BRIGHT PINK?

If, it's ok, feed me a little, how do you KNOW it's working?

AMEN

Remember, he's like DRACULA...the better you are doing, the more anxious he will seem...

He's ATTRACTED by YOU and trying to fight it..DUMB ALIEN... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

NEXT STEP: THANK HIM FOR COMING!! "I SO APPRECIATED YOU COMING TO THE GAME TODAY"...

This time remember: SHORT and SWEET..no extra stuff added in about bills or anything.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Or better yet..

How about a thank-you note with the cookies? Does he have a favorite that you bake?

And would this be a card or phone call?

Actually he has favorite cookies that his mom baked, but I don't have the same recipe. They are molasses cookies. I could bake those after I got home from the tournament tomorrow and bring them down to his work on Monday?

There is also a cake that I haven't made for many years that is his mom's recipe.

Sadly I didn't bake very often. I was a GOOD one, but just always found other things to do. NEVER AGAIN.

Sad to say, but GOOD in terms of your PLAN A, HE DIDN'T HAVE TO COME AT ALL. I'm recalling plenty of times when my WH no-showed. Knowing what I know now, SG, this took extra effort on his part. He had to come up with a plan to break away from her and he didn't have to. We don't want to give him a medal for this or anything. He should be there with his family in the first place. But compared to how your situation was when I first got to know you, this is PROGRESS.

I look at it in terms of ENs and you met many today. Physical attraction, family commitment,conversation...expressing your appreciation for him coming will add in ADMIRATION. You are demonstrating your capacity to meet his needs. The OW can't compare/doesn't compare in any of these areas.

I would leave him a voicemail and thank him for coming, telling how GREAT it was to see him and for you all to be together..

Then, next week thank him again in the card, making his favorite cookies. Take them by his office if you can so that he can SEE you.

What was something that YOU baked that he liked. MANY YEARS ago is OK. You are making an important point with that. What is a special memory that you want to bring to his mind?

You need to FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.

Do you see now the IMPORTANCE of YOU ASKING HIM?

What if you had given into YOUR FEAR?

Remember: FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY...

I have to appreciate the BABY steps, and still remember this is all ABOUT me being the best I CAN BE for me.

I get nervous when I am around him. How silly.

OK, will leave a call tomorrow, AFTER the game. If he shows up that will be GREAT. I get the family commitment, but the physical attraction and conversation - how do you KNOW that she can't compare?

Will do about the card and will make the cookies.

I don't get the plan to break from her. He could have just told her?

HE MISSES his kids, this is more and more apparent. How can I work through the fear that him getting closer to the kids will actually push him farther away from me because he will get his KIDS fix and it won't include me.

Does that make sense?

I am NOT sure it was my asking him to come to the game. I am pretty sure MS told him the schedule.

I was a GREAT cook, but never really baked anything special for me. See, what I MEAN on how I DIDN'T make him feel like number one.

I am going to have to pray on this one, because I don't think there is ANYTHING that will stir up a memory. We have STRUGGLED for so long. UGH!!

You're nervous because HE is not YOUR HUSBAND. I was a bit nervous around my H for a WHOLE YEAR of RECOVERY..until THE FOG seemed FULLY GONE...



I shouldn't have said that about HER. SHE doesn't MATTER. YOU just do what YOU have to do. Who knows or cares about her?



We've got to work on this thinking. What HE wants is YOU to put HIM first in your life OVER THE KIDS. Your job is to communicate to him that YOU WANT HIM. So when you SAY thank you and write your note, make it from A WIFE to A HUSBAND, not from THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN to THEIR FATHER. Make it about HIM and YOU. "I was so happy to see you at the tournament, etc." You are going to be in charge of this, to direct this the way that you want this to go. He is not in charge. THIS IS YOUR PLAN that YOU ARE WORKING and you are doing MAGNIFICENTLY!!

It doesn't really matter. Just FEED HIM something that YOU KNOW that he will like...SAY.."I LOVE YOU" in the note....

Are you ready for this?

If he comes tomorrow, your goal will be TO HUG HIM when saying goodbye. Hug him tight and say "THANKS FOR COMING"...

Okie dokie,

I think I DEFINTELY NEED more training in this AREA so it becomes second nature.

I TOTALLY get how ABSOLUTELY VITALLY IMPORTANT this is. NOTHING will matter if I CAN'T accomplish THIS.

So, please be patient and keep walking me through where I am missing a BEAT. USE any METHOD you need too. I have NO PRIDE and JUST a WILLINGNESS to learn.

And TRULY, I am DOING this because I WANT TO. This is about ME wanting to win him back. Does that make sense?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Oh absolutely I am ready for THAT. I asked him for a hug on Wednesday when I saw him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

NO asking, just give him one?

ABSOLUTELY!! He's going to be trying to avoid this of course. So you have to plan your move. Stand as close as possible to him towards the end.

Ok, I WOULD love to do that.

Oh Mimi, Thank you so much. This would be a good time to REALLY pray hard to G-d for all he has given ME TODAY, wouldn't it.

BTW - Don't GODDESS's get to WEAR PINK, BRIGHT PINK?

I have another question. Since it seems that I am making a tad bit of progress, do I file the legal separation or keep on with Plan A for a while longer? I actually am having fun doing this.

I do have to be careful not to push him into her arms. I can't overload him, correct? Or I don't think that would be a good idea? What about you?