I will be praying too, SG.

I have to tell you a quick story of when my ex was having his affair. My church friends prayed, our friends prayed, and different ministries we belonged to prayed. Nothing happened.

One day my ex stood up in church and asked for prayers for our marriage. That same NIGHT, I caught him in bed with the OW. He was renting a room in a home, and I'd driven by to get the address to forward his mail. His truck was there, and OW's car.

So I knocked on the door, his roommate (owner of the home) answered, and let me in. I explained that I was Mr. Believers wife and wanted to speak to him. I went upstairs and knocked on the door. My ex and OW were in the middle of having sex.

Anyway, I was cool and calm (could hardly wait to get back home and post on MB). I told his roommate thankyou, and I was sorry to bother him.

Well, his roommate was a devout Jew, and the next day, asked my husband to leave. He told him that he didn't want an adulteror living in his home. And THAT was a big wakeup call for my ex.

Next they moved in together, but they were always splitting up. It happened over and over. I believe that a Godly man standing up to the evil put them on the downslide.

Wow,

What a story. I am VERY proud of your strength.

I can only pray for that g-dly man to be put in WH's path and helped along.

This is just so sad.

JT, really helped me confirm or reaffirm how much he is in an addiction. I went to my AA meeting tonight to remember what addicts and alcoholics do. It's been so long for my sobriety, I only KNOW the CRAZINESS, not the complete addiction of destroying your life for the next fix.

I am very scared for HIM, but there IS NOTHING I can do BUT become the best I can be for G-d and wait for his blessings.

So, what would be good qualities to pray for?

Let's pray for you to turn everything over to G-d. And know that He will take care of you and your family.

When a person drifts away from G-d, they don't listen to their conscience. They harden their heart. They don't seem to know right from wrong.

But that state doesn't last. In the still, small hours of the night, they will suffer for their choices. It doesn't happen right away, but it always happens.

I will pray that G-d comes along side your husband and calls him back. Also that their is a hedge of protection around your husband until he returns to you.

Thank you Believer,

I will pray for both of those things too.

MY HUSBAND was a good MAN, who loved G-d. He is just GONE NOW.

He is gone now, but it won't last.

My ex was a good man, and very involved in our church. I never in a million years thought this would happen to us. But it did.

And his OW was 20 years younger than I and beautiful. But a relationship that begins in sin is doomed to fail. Now he has done a complete turnaround.

But you are DONE with him.

I have to walk in FAITH and just keep learning the lessons G-d needs me to learn and become who he envisions for me.

Today I believe was a HUGE test from G-d. The OLD me would have killed him. The new me, just LOVES the HUSBAND deep down inside and prays for him and looks for guidance from you all.

The people in my "physical" life, just don't understand. They don't get this addictive idea and certainly think I should just walk away.

But I DON'T believe that is what G-d wants. JT mentioned that she thought today was my WH pushing my buttons as a test. What do you think?

How are the recovery efforts coming?

Yep, DONE. But I DO believe in the MB concepts. I think that we COULD get back together and fall in love again. I just have no interest, and it seems like too much work. And I completely lost respect for him.

We raised 8 kids together and they are all on their own. If I had children at home, I might have tried.

I waited way too long to go into Plan B, and lost my love for my husband.

My life is good without him. Hopefully that won't happen to you.

Did you imagine losing respect and not ever wanting to be with him?

I forgot to tell you that I TOOK pictures of them hugging standing there in each other's arms.

To bad we live in a no fault state. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SG,

WOW! You did that Goddess Style & with Class. Major Goddess Points on that!

I know it had to be one of the hardest things in your life, but you did it well. I know *I* would feel shaky inside, but also have such a renewed feeling of Strength!

Kuddos!!

I'm proud of the way you handled that SG.. sometimes things like that are the arrows that pierce the wall and the fog..

Over time I'm sure he'll replay that scene in his mind and remember your strength and conviction.

Believer is completely right.. we have to turn this over to God completely.

I think the other lesson Believer isn't coming directly out and saying though.. is that the more we obsess, and ride the rollercoaster in our Plan A efforts.. the longer we persist.. the closer we are to being Done when those efforts don't 'pay off'... it's the expectation that kills.

Give up expectation.. do Plan A for you.. then it -can- go longer and better without completely draining your love for WH.. then when you're in Plan B FOR YOU.. you will be protecting the love God continues to give you for him.

Thanks Bugs,

Coming from you that is QUITE the compliement. It's so weird, that WASN'T the HARDEST thing I have EVER DONE. It was the most natural thing because of how much I LOVE my HUSBAND and am standing for my M. I walked away KNOWING that I am PROTECTING my CHILDREN, MY HUSBAND AND MY FAMILY.

I didn't feel like a doormat, I felt in G-d's will and G-d's spirit and absolutely calm and strong. I think seeing HOW UGLY and old looking she is HELPED ALOT.

This was G-d working in MY LIFE, and one of his PROUDEST moments. The HARDEST part is going to be TRULY letting Go and being in PLAN B. And ACCEPTING that G-d has a PLAN and it MAY NOT include my HUSBAND. That is WAY harder for me today. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

James,

I KNOW what you mean. In some way I think what happened yesterday was AN ABSOLUTE LIBERATION from him. It was G-d putting strength in me to LET GO of the absolute GUILT and SHAME I feel for the wreckage I caused my M.

I guess in one way, by my "THINKING" is an expectation. HE IS GOING TO DO WHAT THE MONSTER WANTS TO DO, regardless of who gets hurt. As for Plan A, you are right, I will continue on MY PLAN because I WANT to.

BUT I am definetly going to talk to the lawyer this week and get the papers filled out and possibly file them. My sense is that my PLAN A is going to be shorter than I would like b/c of the LS, but I NEED to let G-d direct me on this. I don't want to risk my chances of getting the most amount of money before too much time has gone on. He explained something to that effect to me.

JT (thanks JT), helped me alot walk through that yesterday and last night. I have a few set of prayers to keep me going.

As for HOW he reacts, I honestly don't care TODAY, what I DID was about ME. I am a woman of G-d who deeply loves her husband and is PROUD of that love. I staked my position, and though I didn't come right out and say I was his wife, in many ways that was more gracious and strong.

He is SICK, I have FORGOTTEN, the mind set of the alcoholic and getting his fix at any cost. Clearly, what he did was OVER the top and DISGUSTING. But HIS WIFE loving told him how glad she was he was there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think we need to come up with a NAME FOR THIS MONSTER, any ideas?

I was THINKING, after my morning prayers and talk with G-d.

Of COURSE he would bring her. HE HAS TO. He can't trust her. She is an ADDICT who told him that he can't have a relationship with HIS KIDS unless she was there.

If he came without her, he would have to WORRY that she took off using like she does every 30 days.

Mimi,

I PLAN to bring him cookies this week, but call him today and tell him how nice it was to see him yesterday and wish him an awesome day.

OK WITH YOU?

Oh you guys,

I just got another G-d moment. One my my closet co-workers saw HIM AND OW at the store last night.

She agreed on HOW UGLY she is, like you can't even imagine how ugly. And she said that my WH looked angry. Which is exactly what I KNEW.

My friend looked straight at George and he lowered his head and walked away FAST.

What a great gift from G-d that someone else got to see her and been as shocked as I am. Oh, he so NEEDS our prayers.

I AM JUST SO VERY, VERY PROUD OF YOU!!!

When I think about you, I start SMILING!!!

You are more than a GODDESS!!

You are a WARRIOR GODDESS!!!

ONWARD TO VICTORY..one battle after another!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am so VERY GRATEFUL to you. G-d is working through you and there is a strength that became a part of me yesterday. JT walked me through the pain, but G-d gave me strength to honor him as the woman he envisions for me.

I really shouldn't be happy that she is so UGLY. And for her, I"m not. And I pray for her as well. But oh man, I am glad my friend got to see her as well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So my next step for Plan A, call him today and tell him happy I was to see him at the games over the weekend. And to tell him to have a great day and Happy Chanukkah.

What do you think?

I don't think I would say it was GREAT to see him at the games. Maintain the RESPECT you have certainly demanded and gotten.

I would just say Happy Chanukkah.

nothing about seeing him over the weekend?

And you know what....

Somehow what happened yesterday has CALMED me, given me more FAITH in G-d and allowed me to forgive myself.

THAT is HUGE..

Just keep that with you SG.. there's going to be days it feels like NOTHING is happening.. and you've got to be OK with those days too.

I know I'm struggling with that myself.

Lots of activity earlier last week.. but then all is quiet again.. no word from ILs.. no word from WW.. not a peep.

It's ok though.. because they're going through the same hours in the day that we are.