And I could use alot of G-ds tools to stand firm against the enemy.

I'm tired and need a little rejuvenation.

What is supplication to G-d?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

BEAUTIFUL POST, JAMES!!

SG, we've got us another KINDRED SPIRIT!!

(Sidebar to James, though: I don't think that stuff about that potential OW in your life is of GOD. Whatcha think?)

I also struggle with understanding righteousness.

How do you all understand it to be? I somehow confuse it with self-righteousness and the true meaning is getting lost. I seem to want to fight this word.

Hey Mimi,

Did you sleep well?

When I was SELF-RIGHTEOUS, it was all about ME. ME being right. ME knowing more about everything than anyone else. It was my TAKER in charge.

RIGHTEOUSNESS as a BELIEVER is LOVING. It's about GIVING of YOURSELF for the GREATER GOOD. It's about LISTENING to another person's viewpoint, coming to an understanding of another person and then MOVING FORWARD..TOGETHER..as a TEAM.

I was talking to my son last night and he was telling me how I never used to listen to him. I hope LA is reading 'cause she helped me with this. And now he APPRECIATES how I listen to his point of view. I don't necessarily AGREE but I LISTEN. With RIGHTEOUSNESS, I then share my point of view out of MY LOVE and RESPONSIBILITY for the care of HIM as his mother....that PROVERBS 31 woman...

Just my off of the top of my head thoughts on this...

Heh... Mimi.. I recognize it for what it is.. Re: Sidebar

The enemy sees me winning.. sees me walking with God when he wants only to break me down and destroy me and my family.

I look at it today as a sign of encouragement that the devil is testing me, knowing where I am weak.. I pray in my heart that I have the strength to throw him off.. and keep my eyes on the Lord.

Righteousness.. according to Mirriam Webster:
1: acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin
2 a: morally right or justifiable <a righteous decision> b: arising from an outraged sense of justice or morality <righteous indignation>

Supplication (same source)
1: to ask humbly and earnestly of
2: to ask for earnestly and humbly

James, that was an awesome post!

SG, you asked about righteousness? Here's something I found that explains the breastplate of righteousness pretty well:

"The breastplate covers the chest. In our case the breastplate is made not of iron but of righteousness. A soldier with his breastplate on goes boldly into battle full of confidence. Righteousness allows us to stand before God, men and demons.

Whereas the belt of truth show you what is yours and what you can do, righteousness allows you to do it. Without the breastplate of righteousness our faith would be like any mere religion - a form of godliness but no power to act. Satan would knock us down with one word of condemnation, nor would we have the boldness to go before the throne room of God's grace.

What is the breastplate of righteousness?

To be righteous is to have a right standing with God. It is being justified and free of condemnation."

Here's the link to the article where I found this.

EXACTLY what I was thinking, MY BROTHER!! You saw if for yourself....

Yes, Princess..I agree...

I was speaking of how RIGHTEOUSNESS looks on the outside..in laymen's terms/world terms... when APPLIED by a WOMAN OF GOD...

HUMILITY makes RIGHTEOUSNESS distinct from SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS..that's a MAJOR DIFFERENCE...

I've learned to say out loud to my loved ones: "I could be wrong about this"...LOL...if you knew me before, you would understand why this is so SHOCKING to them and they LOVE hearing it... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

That is an EXCELLENT point Mimi, and really does apply to how a woman looks outwardly when she is righteous.

It's also a rule of thumb that I use when I weigh what another believer tells me. Is there true humility there or are they coming from a place of self-righteousness?

Quote - To be righteous is to have a right standing with God. It is being justified and free of condemnation."

And as HIS WIFE and the MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN, I have that RIGHT to stand for my M.

I have to agree with you James, I am coming to learn that these down moments are the work of the devil sliding into our life.

I have to take Mimi's suggestions and shake my head and tell him to get lost. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> When I am really LOW, I scream to him at the top of my lungs to get away from me.

It's been 7 months today since D-day. For some reason there is a peace or acceptance today. I could really go down that road of victim and sadness, but I DON'T WANT to.

I want to celebrate the successes and honor G-d for them. First and most important I have a RELATIONSHIP with G-d that is the most precisous and important to me. I have lost 77 .5 lbs. I have met some of the most caring individuals in my life on this website who have walked with me on this journey and quite literally save my life. I have developed a closer loving relationship with all my children.

Personally I am NO LONGER that angry person who could rip the head off of my H or children. I live a sane life because of G-d. I live a way of life that is calm, without drama unless Hansel is in it. I have come to understand WHAT it TRULY most important to me and my life.

But most important - I have come to realize that G-ds plan is for my M to be restored, and that I am standing for my M, my H still has free will and that no matter whether we are reunited or not, I will heal one day COMPLETELY AND WHOLE, and that SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, G-d will turn this into good.

7 months ago today my world was rocked, today I live differently b/c G-d is my Shepherd.

Good morning everyone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Wow, the stuff you are giving me to absorb and understand is precious. Thank you. I have a 2 day weekend with really nothing to do but clean my apartment and finally ahve some ALONE time with G-d for more than an hour. I am really going to allow all this to sink in and allow it to become more of my life.

Can you tell me how you see humility working in your lives?


You know, there is so much that G-d wants me to learn, I am not praying for this or really saying it, but it's almost as if he is keeping WH away so I can have the time to concentrate on what G-d wants me to learn.

I know that if H were home, I would be concentrating on that. Which is NOT what G-d wants. He wants me to find, live and completely be at peace with the balance of all of this.

I can recognize I am NOT there yet.

When do you know when you are?

You know, one of the things I have always entertained is studying to be a rabbi because I have always had a NEED to have a close relationship with G-d. I prayed for that for so long. Well, I have my close relationship with G-d. And one day I will see that though it seems it was at the cost of my M, I am way BETTER b/c of it.

Hi SG-

I'm going to have to get an SG cheerleader uniform.<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
(Actually there are a few of us who are on the squad. I hope they know a few cheers because I was never on that team in school. I was playing soccer and basketball....)

Tonight I am taking YS and his girlfriend (it's so cute-his first girlfriend) to the "Punk the Halls" concert at Overlake Christian Church. It's 4 Christian punk bands so they should have fun. My friend Sharon is coming with me and we are going to hang out at Bellevue Square, IF we can find parking, before we take them home.

Last night I got a message that one of my former students is graduating from WWU tomorrow at 10 am and wanted me to come. It took him 6 years, but he made it!

Beyond that, I'll just be baking cookies for a group of girls from church to decorate for families in the church, and walking my dog by the Skagit River, and taking YS to his riding lesson. He is learning how to do gaming (pole bending and barrel racing) for the fair this summer.

It's a busy life. OS is going to see if he can get some seasonal work at Fred Meyer.

I love it when my house is full. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

We will definitely talk this week-end. Do you want to try to meet in the middle some time next week?

LOL... Pre-Affair(s) I guess you could say I was smug and secure in my marriage and my life and humble wasn't in my vocabulary. I was so smart, strong and intelligent that I could take on anything and come out a winner (or so I believed).

I didn't really worry too much about how I treated my DH or other people for that matter. I pretty much barreled through things my way. Wow. What a wake-up call for me. Suddenly, I was losing everything, and fast. Sure part of it was my DH's actions but another part was the way I had become complacent in every aspect of my life, including God. My trust was in ME... not HIM.

I became a quick study. I realized that the ONLY thing I could count on in this life is that God loves me and will never leave me. No longer am I judgmental of others (or at least I try not to be <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />). No longer do I take for granted the people and things that are in my life. No longer do I turn my nose up at the small blessings in my life. When I speak, I am more careful to weigh what I say because now I know that words are powerful. Words can speak blessings or curses on others.

ANYTHING I say or do, I want it to come from a humble heart... not one of pride or meanness. I can pass a homeless person on the street now and actually imagine what it's like to walk in their shoes, where before I would only think of them as an annoyance.

I KNOW God and His heart. I WANT to have God's heart. I WANT God's heart to show up in the things I do, even when it requires strength that I no longer think I have. It doesn't mean I'm a doormat and will let people walk over me. But now instead of fighting tooth and nail by my own force of will, I can walk away or stand STRONG in His righteousness. No one can do that without being humble.

JT,

The uniforms need to be burgund and gold. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am such a goof, my cell phone has gone dead and I think it's because I had it too close to my credit card. I surely hope they will replace it for me, I have only had it for a little over a month.

Yes, I would love to talk over the weekend, I am pretty much holed up for some needed alone G-d time and rest with my children and watching football on Sunday. I have put off cleaning my apt and want to get that totally completed.

Would you like to meet half way next Friday. I have MC and IC on Thursday. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Finding parking at Bellevue, put in an order with G-d. That is one daunting task. I love that mall.

OK..PRINCESS is another KINDRED SPIRIT.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SG, YOU ARE MARVELOUS!!!

Is it still possible for you to become a RABBI?

PM.. now -that- is an awesome post.

I'm printing that one for my 'stack'.

YES..THIS IS IT!! So beautifully, beautifully stated...

SG, you are my inspiration! It was suggested by Mark that I read your story as I (Stupidly) put myself in a situation where I pushed my WW for a decision on if she was leaving me. I've only been doing Plan A for a couple of weeks and made some pretty major mistakes on the way. I was concerned about doing Plan A after she moved out (Was thinking about going to Plan B) but your story has inspired me to not give up on Plan A until the tank is almost dry (Which I'm no-where close to). Thanks and keep up the good work!

PM,

Your insight is awesome and EXACTLY where I am at.

Back in Sept 06 I got the ILYVNIL with your speech. At that time I realized I was losing him and it was either my arrogrance or absolute blind trust in H that he wasn't having an affair but just going through something.

At that time we were in marriage counseling and he was lying. I encouraged him to seek his answers. I kept telling him how much I loved him and appreciate him, etc. I realized at that time I was in danger of losing him and tried all the WRONG things. I was still LB and not filling up his tank and still fixing his journey, the journey that was never MINE. OBVIOUSLY I hadn't found this website.

But more IMPORTANT than anything, G-d was missing from my life.

I want exactly what you want with respect to G-d and I can be grateful today that I am learning, applying that in my life.