I found my power through G-d. He is the one who gives it because he has HUGE plans for me.

NO, there is NO turning back EVER. I am forever CHANGED.

And should Hansel choose not to eat the crumbs. He is ONE STUPID and SICK MAN, who I will forever love and hold in my heart. BUT I am A WOMAN OF G-D, who deserves the best love has to offer.

I can honestly say that I WILL NOT take back this MONSTER.

But should that happen and the Hansel comes back before his time....

Then I will be here getting piece by piece instructions.

So now my sweet KINDRED SPIRIT,

Let's think of something good for Plan A this weekend. I think time is running out for me and I need to move to Plan B because I want to ensure that I am financially taken care of and don't want the courts to assume anything.

He hasn't responded to the ecard I sent. No surprise there. I am a little surprised that he hasn't emailed YS in over a week. What do you think?

Ideas, suggestions?

I think you've gotta meet face to face ALONE before going into PLAN B..

So how do you accomplish that?

Think on that, WARRIOR GODDESS...

I'm gonna have to start calling you Gretel.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'll check in with you tomorrow...

OH, I completely AGREE it's face to face alone before Plan B. Totally. And I will love to do it. Let me give it somet thought.

I just seem to be in a different place where I don't HAVE to or NEED to see him. I really don't LIKE the WW at all.

What qualities does Gretel have?

Talk to you soon,

Your job is to get into the DOMESTIC GODDESS MODE today...

NESTING around your apartment...

Do you have some cookies to bake?

The goal is ORGANIZED and [censored] and SPAN.

ONWARD....

Ok Miss Mimi,

DOMESTIC GODDESS MODE today.....

NESTING..... around my place....

I can come up with some baking...

ORGANIZED [censored] AND SPAN...

Thanks, I think you sensed how aimless I feel today.

WH was just online, didn't say hi, but told me to have a good day and then hurried off before I could respond. He hasn't talked to me since before I sent the card.

I am frustrated with myself because I feel I wasted a Plan A opportunity by not driving the 30 miles one way on a hunch that he would be there playing soccer. However, my son had my car and I wouldn't have had the ability to drive anyway.

Ah...there is turmoil inside of me today. What is happening? Why do I have great days one day full of strength and faith and then absolutely lost and sad the next day. Weekends seem to be the hardest because I know they are together all day long.

And for the first time in a long time, I can't shake the absolutel lying that he did to pull this off. He withheld intimacy from me for over a year telling me I wasn't safe and he couldn't trust me. It is driving a knife in my heart knowing that they are doing all the things I want to be doing with him. And he is putting his life on the line by not taking precautions. What if he gets Hep C.

Ok, onward to the rags and dishes and floors. [censored] AND SPAN...

And why am I doing this by the way. Says the Jewish American Princess?

SG

I'll post more to you later..gotta run...

But, MISS PRINCESS..stay busy and shake those thoughts of him right out of your head..

Learn from me whose H came home and told me all about it...THEY'RE JUST LIVING LIFE..NOTHING SPECTACULAR...OK?

DO something FUN for YOURSELF today...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

You're MISS PRINCESS..not GRETEL..she goes along with HANSEL..and we want HANSEL to make it back all by himself...

You're right about Gretel, because when I read the story I didn't think that fit at all.

Not sure Miss Princess is really what I want to be called either. I was poking fun at me. I do need to come up with a name that I can call myself. I'll think about that.

Or I could just go by my Hebrew name which is Bracha' (blessing).

I was telling JT one day about my kids' names. How significant is this. My DD is named after my nana, Miriam, MY MS is Aaron, and my YS - his Hebrew name is Moshe.

I'll look for you later.

OK - just living life, nothing spectacular and do you know why? Because we are WHAT MAKES THEIR LIFE SPECTACULAR, not some OW/CHEAP IMITATION, right?

We are their lighthouse to G-d and life. I think I like Miss Lighthouse. What cha think?

ONWARD GOES THE DOMESTIC GODDESS....

DEMAND RESPECT from your kids.

Just like your WH, they need to RESPECT you...with NO BACK TALK.

HEAD UP, CHEST OUT..even with your kids.

Consequences for BACK TALK..like not driving your car and inconveniencing you...

THEY are NOT ENTITLED...

OK, we need to really WORK ON ME...

But onto the house and shopping. I haven't done that for a long time.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So,,,,, what goodies have been baking in the oven today??

Ah, nothing like going out shopping with my children. I bought my DD some groceries to take home. She brought me a brand new camera for me. I paid for it. She told WH it was a present. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am going to make molasses cookies and check in the cuboard and see what I have in inregients and go from there.

I invited DD and BF to come to dinner tomorrow. They are, so I can make a nice dinner for them.

She works with WH, and he got called into work last night to bring a set of keys to the shop to open up a truck. She listened to their convo in the back and explained to me how stupid this OW is. It was so funny I couldn't help but laugh. When I asked him what he loved about her - he said she was smart. He is so gone. It's scary. Who can give me an example of someone this bad who figured it out.

WH also gave DD a business card and said, now I am someone important. Oh, you guys this man is hurting inside. Does that give us more hope? DD completely sees how it is a different person. She says it's not even dad anymore. She says he looks different and dresses totally different. Get this - army green multi khaki pants with a fleece red and blue shirt. I saw those pants and I can pretty well promise they didn't match.

MY HUBBY wore jeans and t-shirts. Is dressing differently part of the alienation as well?

Oh well, on to figuring out what I need from the other store, go fake and bake (for me that I love), and then home to clean and sit with G-d and see whose here tonight.

OH, my DD asked me how long I was going to wait for "dad" to come to his senses and come home. What if he nevers does? Will I wait forever?

I just said, that I would listen to G-d and do what he told me to do.

Should I have said something else?

Sounds to me like you gave DD an honest answer..

Why would you do otherwise?

What does this mean? She lied?

You know what that is a very good point. I am going to have to ask her tomorrow. She was explaining something else to me and I was talking to all three of the kids at the same time.

She mentioned how WH got mad and wanted to know where I got the money.

I will need to check this out further. Thanks for catching it.

SG

WH: What?? Where'd she get all that money? She's been griping at me about 50 bucks a week and suddenly she's buying groceries and a camera? WTF?

*snickers from the peanut gallery*

Let him wonder...

Hmmm...

I don't want him to get mad at me for what he thinks I am frivously spending money.

That would be the OLD me.

Are you frivolously spending money? I'm not saying you are. I'm just asking.

Your daughter bought you a camera and then you paid for it? Maybe I got that wrong. I just didn't understand it.

Why are you buying her groceries?

It's funny, the OLD me frivously spent money. And never had any. I no longer spend money to fill me up and I have extra. However, I got a bonus check from my 2nd job and used that money for the camera.

Her BF isn't working a job and she needs money, so I spent about 30.00 on groceries for her at WalMart.