And I didn't think you were saying, but you also have my persmission to ask these hard questions.

Getting my H home is most important not if I am uncomfortable with questions from people who care on here.

I don't guarentee you will always like the answer though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thank you. You've made my point. You have nothing to hide. HEAD UP. CHEST OUT. You have nothing to explain to him. She could have told him the truth or said nothing. I guess I don't understand the entire interaction. He can choose to live with another woman, spend money on her and question you about a camera purchase?

Yes, that pretty much sums it up. I am dependent on him for money and he feels that I need to be accountable to him.

Now, once the LSA enters into it, all bets are off and if I manage to save extra money, it's none of his business. He still has control and likes that.

I'll have to ask about the interaction in order to understand it. My WH is angry with me because I packed away the short camera lens and haven't had time to go find it. So he feels he entitled to his camera before I get something. Or who knows.

Remember, I told you he was a controlling person.

And remember HE IS THE VICTIM in all this. NO ONE except my DD has ever challenged his choice and he has CHANGED. He doesn't like to know that I might be doing ok or even better financially without him.

He is also living in Deliverance with crack ho and maybe that gets to him when I get something new. I don't know and I really don't know what reasonable boundaries are because I always shared things with him.

WAIT A MINUTE:
As the WIFE, I would have discussed it with him first or been buying it FOR him. And if he were MY HUBBY he wouldn't have denied ME ANYTHING. Just this monster.

SO YOU ARE RIGHT, CHEST OUT, CHIN UP and let him suffer his consequences of not knowing what I am doing with money that is a gift to me.

Better <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Now I am on a roll - alittle spunk never hurt anyone, especially A DOMESTIC WARRIOR GODDESS.

I am working two jobs, one that is totally high stress and multi tasking beyond belief, I am raising his children completely by myself - while he is off playing. It's not like I get a weekend break. I am taking the kids here and there and everywhere, and dealing with their anger and disrespect b/c that's how H treated me for YEARS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I managed to get US out of the financial ruin that was killing us along with coming up with enough money to get a lawyer off his back b/c the car HE CHOSE to buy DD ended up getting repo'd. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

All the while, he LIVES with crack ho, who is on state disability and doesn't work at all, except to cater to WH ever whim. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

He is really lost, he forgot golden rule #1 - I am a Jewish American Queen. My DD is the princess and my mother was the empress. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Not really.....

Ding..ding..ding..YOU'VE GOT IT, QUEENIE!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I was driving in my car today thinking about how you did to put them boys in the car, drop them off in DELIVERANCE and then drive off.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

OK, that TOOK AWHILE....I'M THERE NOW WITH YA KINDRED SPIRIT. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I won't say one word unless HE ASKS. And then I'll just say I did. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And tell him how much I would love to learn to use the camera together. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

If you KNEW me before all this, you would be amazed at what a WIMP I have become. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

We seriously NEED TO BUILD ME SOME BACKBONE.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

How I NEED to put the boys in Deliverance. LOL..... They have NEVER met OW. They would eat her alive I think. OK, they are GOING TOMORROW..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I think I need to send him a bill for what a housewife should earn. Being a complete single parent must just about double my salary, wouldn't you agree? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Then again, what if I was spending it frivously, he NEVER denied me BEFORE. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Why should I have to give up the lifestyle I am ACCUSTOMED TO LIVING. I've already gone from a 3000 sq ft house to a 1235 sq ft apt.

But we won't tell him how much better I am doing without him around financially. He made things crazy by spending money and not telling me about it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Settle down, QUEENIE!

How does it feel up there on that throne? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ok how's this.

WH or H, not sure just asked me how my day was? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I said pretty good, I have been baking, cleaning and took DD and DYS for grocery shopping.

I told him that I needed to go get DMS and hoped to see him soon. The I got off real quick. Which I am about to do.

Won't it be interesting if I see him online again tonight. NO EXPECTATIONS, but he has contacted me twice now today. Wonder if he has had long day trying to figure out what to say to BRAINS. I need to figure a name out for her as well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I would love to take a picture of him with my new camera. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Queenie:

You missed your BLESSING!!

Weren't you worried about him spending time with her all weekend?

Somehow he took some time out and THOUGHT about YOU.

I told ya he can't get that VISION from last week out of his mind.

Thank him for thinking about you today.

How's that for the POWER of SUGGESTION?

POWER TO THE GODDESSES!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hi SG

Or is that DWG? Or JAQ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Sorry I haven't been around until now. I was at my former student's graduation at WWU this morning. His GF and David-both former students as well-were there too. It was so good to see them. He is so excited. He majored in psychology and is still working on some experiments with his prof. They may get published and hope to present their findings at a conference in the new year.

I never made it to Bell. Square. My friend couldn't go with me. Her hubby was sick and her DD7 can be quite a ball of fire so she stayed home and I ended up at Redmond Town Center. YS and his GF had a good time at their concert too. First "real" date (well, except for the part where mom drove them...)

I was catching up on your thread and you are doing so great. It's such a testimony to God's grace and love.

I loved your answer to your DD about how long you will wait. Your faith is making you stronger and your kids are noticing. How cool is that?

"She who fears the Lord has a strong fortress, and for her children it will be a refuge." Prov.14:26.

Have a great time with your DD.

Mimi,

I think the best way to thank him is an ecard. They are warm reminders over and over again. What do you think?

I didn't miss my blessing!!! You see the reason I needed to get my son is because our car is broken. Now who do you suppose I am going to have to call and ask for advice on how to fix it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> He is surely going to ask me why I needed to go get him.

Can you REMIND me, what vision of me last week? The one where I walked up to him and her and introduced myself in the most loving manner? Or when he saw me with my tight clothes on. Cause when I saw him over the weekend, I didn't look as hot as when I wore my red shirt?

I am just going to have to take a trip down to work with his favorite cookies and I also bought stuff to make homemade fudge. He loves fudge and I have NEVER made that for him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When I was at the store tonight, I realized I am one powerful woman in this town. I recognized so many people who stopped and say hi and wait to talk to me when I am finished with one conversation. I am one blessed person.

Hi JT,
Hopefully we can talk tomorrow. I've been thinking about you. Iremember you telling me about the graduation. How exciting to see our students growing up and becoming successes.

Thank you. I am doing great because you helped me so much on Tuesday. This morning was a pity party, but then my daughter came over and I played and talked with her and had fun.

What are you doing tomorrow.

Hey SG-

Glad that you had such a great time with your DD. Tomorrow I am hoping that all I am doing is heading to church and baking sugar cookies. But with everyone home, plans change.

(Right now there's DS19, DS15, DD25, DD22, DSIL24, DD25's dog-Onyx; DD22's dog-Grr; and JT's Jack Russell-Idgie. Plus, DD25's cat-Ash, but he stays outside most of the time since Idgie is a cat terrorist).

Thank goodness they all know how to do their own laundry. Now, if I could just get them to quit believing in the dishwasher fairy.

I will have my cell phone charged so feel free to call me sometime in the afternoon. We need to plan a time to meet!

You got it. Hopefully Friday?

Mimi,

Who is kidding who, probably not you. I did miss my BLESSING.

I got nervous when he was online and didn't want to have to answer to him over questions about the camera that I wasn't prepared to answer.

It sickens and confuses me, that someone as well known, respected and loved in the community, who is a leader in so many various capacities crumbles at the thought of being confronted by ONE MAN. But I do.

So can we please work on this a little longer and GET RID of it. I'm tired of it, but it happens most times, that I get scared to face the WH. He is mean and unpredictable and I haven't learned reverse babble good enough or believe in myself.

BUT, my CHIN IS UP AND CHEST OUT because I WANT to learn it.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Morning!



Ok, keep repeating this and remembering how you felt when this happened. THIS is one of the internal mantras that will keep you strong!

BTW - - Homemade Fudge is certainly one of the documented ways to a man's heart! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good morning,

How's that snow coming along? I love snow!!!

Documented way to a man's heart - what a gift from G-d that HUBBY loves fudge. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Bugs

Not at all wanting to rain on your parade, Queenie...

I can relate to the POWER in the town..in the organizations..you see where that got US...

Your goal is POWER in YOUR HOME..POWER in your FAMILY...POWER within YOURSELF...

Go in that direction..away from POWER among outsiders...

What I found was who REALLY loves and cares about me is MY FAMILY....

Thanks Mimi,

You are right. I think it helps to know that when he walks into the stores with her, his chances of running into disapproving eyes from MY FRIENDS, helps a LITTLE. Not much.

Back to the PERSONAL POWER. This is so HARD for me. But, I keep praying and working towards it.

And you can rain on my PARADE anytime. Remember, I need people in my life who care more about my life than my feelings or parades. I want to restore my marriage, not be well known around town.

It's true really, the only ones I was to have influence over is my children and my family.

Back to basics then.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey Mimi,

I was wondering. Last night when he contacted me and asked me about my day - would it have been too much to tell him that yes I did, but it missed you?

I'm concerned that I am overwhelming him at this point.

What do you think?