I am putting the staff news together and was looking for new material on inspirational quotes.

I came upon this one -

"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
- Mark 11:22-24

Skins,
I am a newer member, but I saw since you were spiritual I would like to let you know what has worked for me. I am a BS, too.
It seems the closer I get to God the deeper I pray and the more specific my prayers are. So I don't just pray for my WH in general. One of them goes - I pray that H will be convicted in his heart to want to spend time with me and our son, I ask you Lord that he see the OW for who she really is and that your vengeance will cause strife between them. Please take away any attraction that my WH has for OW. I ask that you give us both insight into what we need to do to be better people and better spouses. Let H feel the Holy spirit working within him to change his attitude and give me your Grace to endure. Help his thoughts to align with his actions and let them be based on your Word. Lord, thank you for showing me your mercy and putting friends and family in my path to ease the pain. Amen.
I also print out scripture verses for strength and FAITH that my M will work out. I read them EVERY night.
Good luck!
FTBM

Hi FTBM,

Thank you for your thoughtful words and prayers. I'm sorry you are here and will make a point to look at your link/post.

I really appreciate the prayer you gave me. I am going to write it in my prayer book that I am developing as my first aid book. Please feel free to send me more as you walk this journey. I can really use all the help I can get.

I really am working towards a FAITH that is unshakable and learning more and more daily about my walk with G-d. In my strong moments I am excited for the opportunity, but then there are days that I am just paralyzed with fear.

G-d has become the most important part of my life, something that I am very grateful for, but I still feel like I can become closer and look for ways to do that. Any suggestions are appreciated.

SG

Looks like the Colts play the Texans this weekend. Not sure it matters though, we've locked in a #2 seed in the AFC, and I don't think there's any way we can catch the Pats as they have the tiebreakers even if they lose out.

Looks like AFCCG in Foxborough this year.. hopefully Vinateri will kick the game winner again <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Glad to see you shoring up your walk with God. Keep Him close to your heart and you won't go wrong. Embrace this time in your life and count among your blessings a close, renewed relationship with the One who will never fail you. He who always loves you regardless of what you do, what you call your faith, or the circumstances of your life. He loves your WH as well.. and like a good shepherd goes after his lost sheep.

God bless tonight and every day after SG.

Thanks James,

May G-d bless you and keep you safe and warm each and every night.

Ok, my mind is wandering and going nuts tonight. I went online to check our savings account balance and WH withdrew 100.00. Of course I really have NO idea what is REALLY happening, but here's what I have come up with.

He is taking money out to buy her a Christmas gift. And that hurts because for the last few years we have been so broke we haven't bought each other anything. Actually for our anniversary last year I saved up to buy a applique quilt picture that was of his favorite item, Eagles. Now I know why he didn't really care about it. I put so much time late at night and when he wasn't home to draw, cut and quilt. Ok, stop Queenie.. Shake your head...

Then once I was there thinking how happy he would be out shopping for the new woman he loves, he'll bring it home and then on Christmas she will open it up and you get the picture. I just want to take a bat to my brain right now. It's helping to write this down because I can see how ridiculous it is, I don't know what's going on, but it hurts nonetheless. And there is the emptiness inside of me missing my H.

Which brings me to something. I was at Sam's Club tonight and I bought a Lynryd Skynryd Collection CD for H. Should I give it to him as part of Plan A? In the past, whenever I saw something that he would like, I usually bought it for him. I wasn't going to wrap it, just tell him that I saw this and knew he would enjoy it.

My mind is also reeling because he hasn't looked at the last ecard that I sent him. I'm really trying to not go there and let my mind bring me down. But it's so much easier giving that than taking my words of wisdom. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I can't help but think about all that transpired and there is no other explanation than he is an alien who is completely gone. I miss my H and I hope G-ds timing for him to come home is soon.

Sorry to ramble, I have a long day tomorrow and need to sleep tonight. Better than I did last night.

No expectations in Plan A SG.. none.

Give your expectations to God.. expect God to go to work, pray and give thanks. Give your anxiety to Him.

I too struggled for a few hours (that's all I allowed myself to dwell on it) about my wife getting presents for Wonderboy and his family.. but you know what? It's not a big deal.. I went and got her a gift anyhow, something I know she'll like, and isn't 'improper'.. The gifts aren't what the season is about anyway.

Chin up.. CHEST OUT.. be the wonderful royal child of God you are.

Skinsgal,

When did you start Plan A? How well have you done with it?

And can you give a brief rundown of you sitch?

Please don't tell me to go look it up for myself, because I forgot to bring my glasses...and your thread is too long. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ok, look here is what you do. QUIT thinking bad thoughts. Fact#1: You don't know for sure what the $100 is for, correct?

Read Philippian 4:6-8. It says "have no anxiety but with thanksgiving make your requests known to God, etc"...and it tells you what kinds of things to think on..."whatever is noble, pure, just, gracious, whatever is praiseworthy, etc."
You are waging a war in your mind...the Mind is the Battlefield and either Satan or growing up in a negative household will keep you thinking on sad, negative or anxious things.
There is a season for it, yes. Don't deny yourself those tears and get it all out. But just don't dwell in that place for too long. It will come and go, which is natural.

Grab a highlighter, read through your bible and mark the things that will help you. Dog ear the pages and then carry it with you. Refer to them often and once you learn them, when you feel an "attack" of the blahs, you can quote scripture either in your head or outloud. THIS is the way to win over your emotions. Trust me it works. I am living proof!

Last night my WH and I got in an argument over the phone and I was sitting there thinking, why the heck would I want to reconcile with this man. Ugh! I was so angry! It took me a good hour of ignoring the feeling and going back and forth in my head, being mad and then wondering if I should be with him...but then I finally decided to pray for that part of him that is so disagreeable. And of course my reaction wasn't the best either.

Last night I said, Lord please take away any unbelief in H's heart. Help him to see that my "yes means yes and my no means no". Please don't let him be swayed by anyone else's words. Let him feel remorse for being so impatient and bring awareness to the logic of the truth I spoke last night. And help my reactions to be soft and keep my words from being spoken before I think clearly on what I want to say" (He called me a liar last night about something ridiculous, and then kept saying I don't believe you, I think you are lying, on and on)
I argued back when I should have said something on the lines of, as long as you keep saying that and believing the lie in your head, I'm not going to talk to you, goodbye.

I hope this helps!
BS (me) 37
WH (37)
OW (34)

Thanks for the reminder of no EXPECTATIONS.

I forget that I don't live in the fog and still have social manners or caring manners.

I know you are experiencing the same hurtful cruel behavior if not worse because she is using your children. At least my kids are with me and protected from him. He hasn't emailed my YS since 12-6 because he didn't get a response back to that email.

And he made a sarcastic response to me on Monday about MS not calling him back when he left a message to invite him to play for soccer. I didn't really respond accept to say you know how kids are.

I would HOPE and PRAY, that if he invited sons to soccer game then he would have the DECENCY to not bring HER. If he did, I can only imagine how angry my kids would get not to mention how more damage it would do to their relationship. But WH is so in control and only cares about HIS NEEDS. Scary, truly scary.

I'm tired of feeling feelings. However, I keep praying and asking G-d to reveal the lessons that I need to learn or give me wisdom on what to pray for to get through this. I still don't know if I am praying for the right qualities to survive.

I'm glad vacation starts tomorrow. I can find some down time and just be with G-d. James, do you get regular signs of G-ds will to stand for your marriage, or you just read and read the bible?

G-d has been very quiet with me for many days. Please don't misunderstand, he is so generous with the many blessings of life, but in terms of my M or my H, there hasn't been anything and I'm wondering if that's a sign from G-d to give up? What do you think or when you get to this place what do you do?

Remember, this FAITH and TRUST in G-d is so new to me. Especially when the stakes are as high as they are. My life, my family and the soul of my H.

Queenie:

You've got some WORK to do. Are you ready?

What happened to taking the FUDGE/COOKIES to his office?

Yes, I am ready.

I couldn't get down to work with it because I was taking care of my kids.

I am heading down there tomorrow with it in tow. I start my vacation and am staying up late to bake more cookies, fresher and different ones.

What else are you thinking. Should I give him the CD's?

Thanks Mimi, I needed to get focused again.

Remind me about the CDs...



Yep..you've got to limit your time with PEOPLE that bring you down..and STOP reading stuff that brings you down...

You have to keep yourself UPLIFTED...

THIS IS A series of BATTLES!!

Read Mortarman's post...

His story is soooo INSPIRATIONAL...and he is a MAN OF GOD...

I should probably give you a better idea of his work schedule so you understand what might be a little road block to work around.

I live about 30 minutes away from his job, give or take traffic. He starts work at 5:30 am and I start work at 7:30. I have to make sure that my kids are up and getting ready for school. If I hadn't fried my cell phone I could have called, but we don't need to go there.

Honestly, when I write this out, my fear just stopped me. I'm glad you asked that question.

Now that I am off for vacation I was thinking about stopping by tomorrow at work after IC and bringing him and the rest of his workers fresh cookies. I might get some alone time with him, but no guarantee. So, let's take a vote, go for the early morning or later afternoon when I can impress the others around him as well.

This is about YOU and HIM. I would only bring cookies FOR HIM..

Ok, cookies for only him. Then I will get up super early and bring them to him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I was shopping last night at Sam's Club and saw a collectors edition of Lynyrd Skyrynd which was one of his favorite bands.

I agree, I need to keep myself uplifted.

I will read it later tonight while I am up baking fresh cookies for him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

HEAD UP, CHEST OUT.

I actually fit into a size 14-16 shirt. I started at 5X. Yeah.....And I have a new uplifting bra that really helps with CHEST OUT. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Ok, for the first time in a long time I am a LITTLE MAD.

WH really only talks to me when he wants something. Like the camera. He wants it for this weekend, and wants me to drop it off tomorrow at our friends house. He asked me if I could do it tonight. I said no.

I asked him if I could get it back by the 26th because the boys have a lacrosse camp. He said he thinks so. That isn't good enough for me.

This camera is really something that is pissing me off. He said I heard you were getting two cameras. I told him that I actually got a small one and that no, I wasn't getting another one because we were doing quite well at sharing "our camera". He didn't respond.

Before all this I told him the Mercedes was broken and asked him if he could come over and look at it. He asked what was wrong, I said I didn't know and he never responded.

As for the camera I told him we could negotiate between us for a win win and that I had a great idea to discuss with him for his input. But he was gone by the time I got it out and it's sitting there waiting for him when he comes back on.

He is up to something. I can just feel it.

So HELP.... Do I keep with the Plan of bringing him cookies tomorrow and bring the camera with me???

As a course of learning, where did I do good and what did I blow?

Tell him that you'll bring the camera to his office tomorrow...BE AS BOLD as he is...

Give it to him...along with the cookies....

Don't worry about getting it back...take the small one back and get YOU a NEW CAMERA..as a NEW LIFE PRESENT to yourself...

THE CAMERA is tainted anyways with him taking pictures of her and their time together....YUCK...

Don't get into a STRUGGLE with him about it....

You're moving towards PLAN B and then you won't be able to share the camera anyways...

This is a man who wouldn't even arrange visitation with his children and he's focused on a camera. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I'd just give it to him...with A SMILE ON MY FACE..

Hi there,

We are SO on the same page about this. I went to a drug and alcohol prevention community meeting.

On the way over I started thinking about what you would say to me and I had already decided that I would bring it to him tomorrow along with the Cookies, looking my absolutely best at 7:00 am.

You are right the camera is tainted, but more importantly, I love him more than an object. This camera clearly means something bigger to him and I am not going to let THIS be the reason that stops me from working my Plan.

You haven't responded to the CD, but I need to give it to him for me. That's who I am. I saw the CD's and the truth is I immediately thought of him and wanted him to have them. I would have bought them if we were together and had the money.

Yeah, this man who doesn't even seem to ask me how the kids are doing actually. My MS is sick with strep throat and in pain.

I really am working hard to created a great Plan A. The lawyer and I are meeting soon. I saw his wife tonight, she is a good friend of mine. He has been very busy with tough divorce cases and that's why we haven't before this.

I am tired tonight, but I want to write something that I received at the information night about Cocaine Addiction and its pattern of destruction. Did I ever mention that my H's drug of choice was Coke? Interestingly, I don't really believe he is using, but is it odd or is it G-d that this relationship addiction would have the same characteristics.

I'll check my email before I leave tomorrow in case you have any last minute instructions. I know what my Plan is, to reach my H somehow and let him know what life can be like if he came home. Sweet, respectful, giving and loving. All the things that I really do feel in my heart for my H, but then there's Hansel and he just needs to keep seeing those crumbs until Plan B day.

Is there anything I am missing? Oh yes, CHEST OUT AND HEAD UP, because Mrs. R is going to see her H tomorrow and she is excited to.

Please pray for me to gather the strength I did when I met him and OW. That is who I want to be with him tomorrow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mission accomplished.

I went and stayed for about 20 or so minutes. He was definetly nervous at times. I let him talk as much as I could asking questions that would give me answers. I can't remember if he got up from his desk or not when I got there.

He was surprised to see me. Thanked me for bringing him the camera. We talked about how I could get it back. I didn't make it into a big deal at all. It just so amazes me the difference of him when he is around her versus just on his own. He is jumpy though. I really don't think he is using, but definetly under the influence.

I noticed something interesting though. I think I mentioned this last time. He still has a family picture of all of us on his desk. That darn balloon from his birthday, but something new was added to his desk. I made his a ceramic eagle or rather painted it for him years ago. I never noticed it on the desk before and there it sat.

I asked him about work and he talked to me about some problems they were having. I asked him about something that he mentioned from Monday, so he knows that I was listening to him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I stood next to him a few times, making sure to touch him lovingly, and then he showed me this paper that he needed to get the guys to sign. He is having trouble with someone there. Oh my gosh, it had so many typos, I offered to retype it if he liked, but he said oh no, if Jack wrote it, it stays that way. It's really quite an embaraasing letter of mistakes.

I wore a brand new shirt that shows off my skin tone and weight loss really well. No comment of course. I thought about putting on make up, then I realizes OW wears dark eye liner and I know he doesn't like make up. So, I had the heat turned on in my car, got my cheeks rosey red and just put on lipstick and mascara. Plus the color from the tanning booth. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I could tell when I overstayed my time because he started to go back to work. Right before I left, I showed him all the goodies I made. I wanted him to know that it was homemade fudge, because he would never dream I would do something like that.

I asked him if he could come over this weekend and look at the car, he said it was a possibility.

I think all in all it went good. There is so much to remember along with just being your self, but I hope that G-d was pleased.

What do you think? Where did I miss something or go wrong?