After reading some of the posts this morning, I thank God my situation is as good as it is. My heart broke when I read Lor's latest post. She, Terri and quite a few others have fortitude I only could wish for. <P>An update on my life ... H and I spend quite a bit of time together. He comes over, we cook or go out, go to a movie or rent a movie. Sometimes have sex. He never can "finish" which makes me feel like its my fault, but I don't think it is. He isn't taking antidepressant meds, although he went as far as getting an RX written. He still isn't talking to anyone. I'm sure affair is over. Why else would he be at my house Fri, Sat, Sun?? He still can't tell me he loves me. Still doesn't know what he wants. Same stuff, although he is kind and good to me with occasional smart [censored] attitude if we're together for long periods of time (like the beach). <P>He will know Thursday or Friday details of the job offer (transfer within his company). he went so far a few weeks ago as to ask me if I would have a problem moving if we worked it out. <P>I have come to the conclusion he can only handle one thing at a time. Right now its the job. The next thing, whether he takes job or not IS TO GET HIS OWN PLACE. He's living with his mother right now. She does everything for him, and as long as he is with her, reality will not really hit him. <P>The closing on the house was hard for both of us and he even cried at bit. Stayed at the house all night before the closing with it empty.<P>Everyone tells me that I'm making it too easy on him. I should not be available to him,etc, etc. I feel like I'm doing a plan a for now. Once he is settled somewhere, I guess I should give it 3 mos. or so before I go to a plan b for my own sake.<P>Right now I'm trying to be a companion, a wife (hey, I have needs too you know! ) <P>While I do want to get on with my life, right now I just can't let go to Plan B. I do love him and want him to love me back. I do feel stronger now that house deal is out of the way. It is nice not feeling the constant stress I felt before. I am getting much more confident in my "single" life. If I want to go to a concert on spur of the moment, if I can't get someone to go, I go alone, etc. Taking a great class and have a little part time job every other weekend to pay for a trip I have coming up late next spring.<P>All in all, I'm good, but getting all sorts of "advice" from people who have never walked the walk. I can recall saying "I'd kick his [censored] out, etc, etc, etc", but my how things are different when it happens to you.<P>Am I being too convenient, too easy?? Any thoughts or suggestions?? Again, my life seems pretty boring and good compared to a lot of you, but replies, ideas and encouragement from those on the board who have walked the walk really help me. Thanks.

Hi Janie,<P>My husband also spends a lot of time with me and the kids. <P>I don't know if OW is in the picture any more or not. <P>As to all the advice you are getting from others, I think you should do what you feel is right in your situation. I receive a lot of conflicting advice from friends and family. I am trying to stick with plan a so he will keep coming home.<P>Hang in there. This is hard no matter what stage or situation you are in.