JT, The keys have been found. YAHOO

Ok, honestly, my perfect bang would be to sweetly tell my WH thank you for everything he's done for me and that his services no longer needed. All the while gussied up, standing in his office, and acting distracted or dreamy while he talks to me. See, that would have driven my WH to distraction. Then rumors of flowers in my house or work would definately find their way to him. But see, I'd be one ****** of a mean Plan B'er.... cuz I was a hardcore 180'er when I first started. I 'got lucky' though because my H honestly did not want his family ripped apart and when he even had the whisper of a thought that I'd replace him, he flipped out. He took less than a day to respond. A very, very rare example. OF course, I'll never do a plan B. NEx ttime is it, and he knows it.

The things your WH is supposed to do for you... wasn't it fix the car or something? Couldn't you get someone else to do that for you? As well as the other things he's been helping out with? Are your financial deals in order and working well now? Because I've noticed great plan Bs start abruptly and catch the WH off guard.

Sure, its nice to give them the plan B letter so they know you are willing to take them back if they end their affair, but the trick is living your Plan B in such a way that you demonstrate to EVERYONE that you are not sitting around waiting for them. At least, that's my take on it.

Great that the keys were found! Been busy today. I'll be back on later tonight-

Mojo,

Other than saying he would help me with the car or possibly playing frisbee, he has done NOTHING for me. He walked away and pretty much washed his hands of us. Yes, I could absolutely create a life where I didn't need him for anything. I am just not sure how to get the message across to him when he is living in fantasy world and loving being away from me and our M.

Until the LSA is to a certain point, WH could just stop the money coming in as he desires. So, what's holding up Plan B is that.

Hmmm.. thanks for the thoughts.
That's so funny you say about how to talk to him. Last week when I was leaving his office he asked me what plans I had. I don't know why I said what I said, but I said I was meeting the guys for something and he said "What guys?" He TRULY doesn't believe that I will ever find someone else and pretty much wait around for him. And I haven't given him any reason to think otherwise. All my messages have been about wanting him to come home.

I don't think he would care one way or another because he told me to move on. Who knows. He actually thinks I am ugly, fat and not desirable to anyone.

hey JT,
Talk to you tonight.

Sounds good. I'm just running errands (groceries and such) and Sat. is completely open!

Oh, believe me... they care. And its a completely selfish kind of caring, but yes, when their wifey suddenly isnt at their beck and call or waiting in the wings.. THEY CARE.

When will your LSA be in effect?

You might also benefit from some reading of Divorce Busting stuff. Tis website and that one (with the 180s) saved me!

Where are those?

I don't know. All he seems to care about is getting the field for lacrosse. Another email wanting to know when he can get it. Let him know. Never a hi, how are you?

I guess we will see.

Ok, I am struggling a little right now. 8 months tonight was D-day. And though it's SO much better. I MISS MY H.

I just need someone to tell me he will be home one day. I think there are times that I am still in complete and utter shock that he is really gone and not coming back. I know I'm having a MOMENT. I'm so lonely tonight.

I think after I do some work I will finish up the LSA agreement. NO time like the present, then it won't matter if I can get the field or not. He won't be able to use it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Now I gotta tell you Queenie, when I hear that your WH feels like this about you, I want to come to Washington and slap the living CRAP out of him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> And since I'm not his wife, it would not be an LB (though it might get me arrested). LOL!!

What an a$$! You are too good for him...

Smartie

Come on over Smartie, you have my permission. No one else cares about him to say anything.

He didn't say I was that, he just said he had NO DESIRE for me and didn't want to be married to his best friend, he wanted to be with someone he had desire for. And that was because I was fat. I should send you a picture and show you how ugly I am.

I am NOTHING to him right now. And it just hurts. I think it's just the night. I think hearing my friend tell me what he did a few years ago and all the Valentines' Stuff is just trying me tonight.

I just want him to hold me for just a little while and tell me it will be ok, they way he used to when I got scared and needed reassurance. I'm just plain tired of being brave alone.

I am working on myself and felt like a true Goddess today, I just wish I could have one day where I feel like I had success with him. Oh well. Time to stop feeling sorry for myself and just let G-d hold me tonight.

My deepest need in life was to be intimate with him and he just stole that from me and pushed me away for so long and blamed me. Here I am completely rejected by him and because I am standin for my M I'm hurting inside for not feeding that need. What should I do?

Queenie

Rule 1--do not ever tell me you are ugly again. I've never seen you and I know you are one of the most beautiful persons in the world because your heart and soul are beautiful. I'm sure JT will confirm me here! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Rule 2--do not say you are being brave alone. You have your wonderful children, all the MB goddesses (especially Mimi) and warriors (TMTS, James) with you each step, each day of your journey. And most important, you have God. Who loves you with the greatest love, who loved you before you were born, who will love you until the end of time. He is always with you. Always.

Remember, your WH and skanky OW are the losers in all this. Not you. Never you.

Smartie

Hi Queenie-

Did you get any snow this afternoon? We had a brief ice pellet
shower, but I heard it really dumped on Bellevue. Just wondering if down south got some of the white stuff.

(aside to smartie) skinsgal is NOT ugly no matter what she says! She has a wonderful glow about her, and it isn't just the fake and bake, as she puts it.It is part of her inner warmth and love of others. She has amazing eyes that are friendly and inviting, a chic short hair cut-and a great sense of style (you have really cool glasses Queenie). Plus, she is the kind of person that other people feel instantly comfortable with. Yes, you might get arrested if you slapped her WH silly, but you can still abuse him with harsh language.

All you can do right now Queenie is feel what you feel. Be still and let God be God in this moment. And then, get your Goddess gear out and plan for tomorrow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Also, I don't think you are nothing to him. My belief is that the WS's ignore their BS's because if they allowed themselves to think about what they are doing-and let the light shine on the truth for just a minute-they would crumble under the fantasy world they have built out of matchsticks. Why do you think he has cut himself off from his kids? They are part of the light and the truth about what he is doing and if he thinks about it, he sees the real truth of what he is doing.

Just for fun-here's a quote from "The Real Housewives" show that my DD25 text messaged me:

"At his age, it's not smart to be stupid."

Yes, a beautiful woman..............

You deserve much better than he is giving you RIGHT NOW, but that will change.

Hang in there, Queenie. Your day will come, guaranteed.

Ouch....How hard did you throw that Smartie.... You are RIGHT OF COURSE... Thanks for the wake up hit.

JT, we didn't get a drop of it. I was hoping for some because I have to meet with my boss to discuss budget and I would like to delay it for a day or two.

Thank you for the compliment. I have actually planned out my Goddess look tomorrow, another NEW shirt complete with eye color to match. A pretty blue shade of colors.

I love the quote..... Thank your DD25 for me. How are your girls? How's the make up world coming.

So what time would you like to meet?

Hopefully one day we will get to ask him.

How was work today? Are you due to get any more snow?

Queenie-

If it works for you, let's meet in the morning (not too early because it is a bit of a drive) so we can beat the crowds. Around 10? If not, I'll just go visit my folks and then meet you over there. Looking forward to it.

We didn't get any snow here in the valley. Not sure if what they are predicting is going to stick around. It tends to snow more where I work than where I live, so we'll see. You know how we northwest drivers are when it snows. STOOPID!

See I know I was right about you Queenie!!!

JT you are so right--I thought (like Queenie) that I meant nothing to my WH. And then one day--don't ask me why or how--the lightbulb came on and I realized I could never be nothing to my WH--no matter how many OWs he has and no matter if he never speaks to me again. Why? Because we shared 20 years of our lives together. I am the love and wife of his youth. Now he chooses not to face me because he won't face the truth of what he's done and what he lost and the pain he caused.

Those years, those memories, are not forgotten. So Queenie, even if WH never comes home, you are always a part of him. OW will NEVER replace you, she can only stand in line behind you, taking whatever WH has left over to give.

Smartie

Hey, the 2x4 was thrown with love. LOL!!!

Besides, I'm not near the hitter Mimi is. If you can take HER, I'm a piece of cake!

Meet around 10:00 works for me. How long can you stay?

Wow, I hadn't thought about it like that. I know that it should bring me some comfort, but tonight it doesn't.

But then I can just walk out of my bedroom and look at two of the three miracles that our love created and I am the LUCKY one. He is so losing out on life and the memories of our children.

You are so right, she will NEVER share those memories of his past life. ONLY ME.. I know his family, his aunt. OW will NEVER MEET HER, his aunt would NEVER allow it.

From what I can tell, there isn't very much of him at all that is good. She didn't get my H, she got a MONSTER. OW will NEVER know what I had because my H could NEVER do this, WH obviously yes, but not my H.

Hopefully Mimi will check in soon and help me finish out my Plan A. I feel just out there and not sure what to do next.

And I know it was thrown with love. And I appreciate it.

Well said, Queenie, well said. Good night goddesses, I am off to bed, got an early morning jet plane to catch!

Sweet dreams...

Sweet dreams my precious friend.. Talk to you Saturday. Maybe JT and I can both call you.

I got to talk to my DD tonight. She had the privledge of going into the WH's office and saw the picture of them. She was disgusted. She can't believe how ugly this person is either. I told her she almost looked like me, but then she corrected me and said no she actually looks like my sister, and my DD is right. She has a HUGE nose.

We had a lovely talk tonight. She just knows that it isn't her dad anymore. She said that people complain he is lazy and doesn't act happy at all. I guess he does just say it for me.

Everyone totally knows he didn't do better. I still think I should make a visit to his shop at night and meet the night crew as his wife. What do you all think?

Especially dressed up as a TRUE GODDESS