Not only in Plan B will that be gone but it will be buried.

See so much time has elapsed that I am in a way looking forward to getting out of the craziness and drama of his insanity. I thought that it would have been better timing for the holidays, but I got to do a successful Plan A.

Now is the time of year where the boys are starting up their games and our MS is starting his graduation semester. HE WILL MISS OUT on EVERYTHING.

If he isn't careful, he won't get a ticket to his graduation. He cartainly won't be getting 2. But that is 5 months away.

Do you all think I should step up my Plan A and keep it in his mind, because I really haven't had any contact with him but once a week now?

SG, I agree with Mimi, I think you should be working diligently on preparations to go to Plan B. Have you started drafting your Plan B letter? Do you have an intermediary in mind? What's the plan on filing the LSA? Will your husband have to sign off on it first?

As far as stepping up your Plan A... what did you have in mind? Perhaps one more big Plan A moment so that he'll have something to look back on when you go dark?

I have my intermediary person in place. And WH will NOT like who it is. I just have to get the paperwork to the lawyer.

Yes, WH has to sign off, but I can be in Plan B way before that. I just need the courts to make sure he is paying the money. I could make this LSA go on for about a year if I wanted. He won't have to sign off on it to make the courts aware of what is going on.

That's what I am struggling with. I don't know what I should be doing in Plan A for him. I have done almost all there is except him take me out for frisbee and get him over to my place. Those are what I am working on now. I am shooting for Monday to have him stop by after work. That way there is NO DANGER of him bringing OW over here.

I have mentally started thinking about the letter. Maybe I should put it down and put it out here for the tweaking and have that totally ready?

I am praying alot is what I am doing most PM.

I'm sorry for you on the loss of the Cowboys. I really am for you. How are you doing with it?

Oh, that's easy... That TMTS had this mentor that did two things that stuck in his mind....
1- I think it the 3rd or 4th day of my self induced pity party that he asked me if I was actually listened to what people were saying to me. That was the little 2x4 I needed because I re-read everything that I was told and started getting a clue.
2- About a week later the same mentor could see that I was feeling better about myself but still didn't have a plan or a clue how to get one and he suggested I call the Harley's which I did that night.

Well the next morning awoke a new and improved TMTS and the old one is sitting somewhere back in the subconscious. (He still pops in to say hi now and then but the new TMTS gets him under control pretty quickly).

I still have allot to learn about Plan A and b with the hope top learn all about reconciliation as well.

And none of this even takes into account the spiritual journey I've embraked.

Thanks for everything Mark...

Good.


That's what I was wondering... since it's an "Agreement" will your attorney FILE an [proposed] agreement to get the ball rolling? Or is anything filed to initate it? I'm not that familiar with LSAs.


Let's all put our heads together and come up with a wonderful Plan A strategy for Monday.


Definitely start drafting it. We can all help you with the language.


Praying certainly helps.


Oh I was disappointed, but my life happiness wasn't wrapped around whether the Cowboys won or lost. Soon as the game was over though my cell phone rang... it was my long lost cousin who only calls me when there's a Cowboy game... to razz me about their loss. LOL It was pretty funny.

Once he files it the ball is rolling and I am pretty sure Plan B can become reality and go into effect.

Thank you, I would totally appreciate that.

The OLD ME would have been devastated the Redskins lost. Me today, was sad, cried, but realized there is SO MUCH more to life.

Ok, let me get the words on paper and I will post it here for review.

How are you doing PM?

TMTS,

What STRENGTH, what FAITH and what a GREAT PERSON YOU ARE.... Not to mention the willingness to change that which was necessary and you wanted to change. Plus take criticism.

Ok, I just got a phone message from WH.

Hey, if you get a chance, call me and let me know if you have any information on the availability of the field?

Thank you, have a nice day.

His tone is rushed and weird.

I wish once, he would just say hi, I hope you are doing ok. Anyways, how can I respond. I can't get the field for a few weeks and by the time I can I will be in Plan B and he won't be able to use it... That will be a consequence of his actions that he will finally feel.

"It's so GREAT hearing your voice...or it's so GREAT to have the chance to talk to you..wish I had more information to give you about the field..there are some other things that I need to talk to you about..."(or some such VAGUE response)...

Yes, he needs to suffer the consequences...No, he has no right to the privilege of using the field...You have BETTER things to do in YOUR OWN LIFE than to help plan HIS recreational time... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Orchid's Babble... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

He just doesn't have any sense of boundaries or realization that he is HURTING people and it's just about HIM.

Yes this was the problem in your M. The problem in your Plan A is that YOU are now making it about him and that where your Plan B can be effective. As much as Plan B is to guard what love you have left, it also will give him a taste of life without you, which he has yet to experience.

I completely agree. Just remind me again. I have limited time with him if like about 1/2 an hour once a week, if that. I think he is living life without me now.

How will that really change?

I know I am missing something vital here. I just feel the wind of the 2 x 4 coming. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I don't think this was just a problem in my M, but a problem in my life.

One that I am trying to learn and incorporate. I just have lived a LONG time.

Let's talk later about PLAN A vs. PLAN B and what was the problem in your marriage.

Now let's FOCUS on the field...while you are still in PLAN A.

NOW..FOCUS on NOW..

Of course it's about HIM.

ACCEPT THE WAYWARD..IT IS WHAT IT IS...

ACCEPTANCE..ACCEPTANCE..ONE DAY AT A TIME..

We don't need to talk about the future. We don't need to talk about your past life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

The PLAN is to not DJ but to expect him to RESPECT YOU... and to invite him over to the apt. this weekend. Leave it at that for now.

Ok, you got it. He absolutely HAS NO RESPECT for me and I don't seem to be gaining it right now.. So I can work on thinking about having that happen...

I will call him today and let him there is no news aobut the field. I also won't say anything about him coming over because he will be disappointed I can't help him.

So to fix that, I will visit him tomorrow at work, bring some warm cookies or scones and drop off the CD's. I will ask him about coming over this weekend OR ask about coming over on Monday when I am off and can assured that he won't be bringing her.

What do you think? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

GOOD PLAN!!

ALL RIGHT...

One clarifying question. Specifically ask for Monday and be assured she wont' be there or offer for both days.

Thank you....

How is your day going?

Make it clear and specific that you want to talk to HIM..however he can work it out ASAP!!

Tell him that you would be GLAD to meet HIM somewhere if necessary.

That wouldn't be possible...

I NEED him to come over to my apt to look at the car that is broken. Then I was going to ask him to go play frisbee with me.

So, I can't meet him for the car.

Who am I kidding... I can flippin figure out how to work around a silly st... and small BRAIN WW. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I will ask him to come over on Sunday for the car... Not say one thing about frisbee, and then call him on Monday to ask him to meet me to play frisbee. Walaaaaa..... See, my brain can be so creative, when I let G-d have it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Not to be DJ or LB, but he needs things in small doses. I am lightening speed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

LOL

LOL...It's YOUR world, Queenie... (Mimi bowing)..I just live in it...