What he carries a picture of you? Something recent?

Yes today when I was looking in his wallet I noticed that the fancy picture of me 14 years ago is out of his wallet, but he is carrying around the picture of me with my son that I just gave him.

He has other pictures of this son alone, but weird isn't it that he would have that.

I look at it this way (My little way of hanging on to hope). I can't believe that evne with all the fog babble they give us that there is not a place in their hearts for us. I think that picture will become much more important to him once you go to Plan B.

Well only time will tell and G-d will know, because once I am in Plan B, I won't know anything. Oh will that kill me or what.

You think I am bad now.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Ok, I can understand why their comments would have been hurtful. 5.3 at 140lbs is not overweight at based on what my WWs body looks like at that same weight, you probably looked fantastic. But look at the bright side, you have a whole new team supporting YOU and I for one am impressed and proud with the fact that you've lost 80lbs. What is your next target and what are you doing to get there? My thing is running and once it's nice outside basketball.

SG,

I would like to re-examine the idea of an addiction to your husband.

Can you tell me why you have accepted this thinking?

Have you read Dr. Harley's article on co-dependency?

SMB...I'm glad you decided to stey with us... you're good!

Here's the article. I don't agree that you are addicted to your husband either. I think that you have felt that you can CONTROL his WAYWARDNESS..but we all have been guilty of that.

How the Codependency Movement is Ruining Marriages

Your H has the ADDICTION to the OW.

You need to let go of the BELIEF that YOU can CONTROL him...HIS ADDICTION.

Mimi and SMB,

I haven't read the article, but I will print it out and read it.

Maybe I am saying it the wrong way.

I am willing to admit that I am POWERLESS over my H, and that my life becomes unmanageable when I try to control him.

I am in the process of truly understanding that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.

Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of G-d as I understood him, so that G-d can do what he is going to do and I won't keep getting in the way.

I think that in many ways, and I am just admitting it, recognizing it and changing it to how G-d wants it to be. But I think that I tried to control not just his WAYWARDNESS, but his LIFE as well. By DJ of thinking that I know what's best for him, or what he should be doing, etc. I think that I am truly beginning to ACCEPT who my H is, but more importantly who he was all along.

I think I am being honest when I say I don't want to control him, just have him let me in as to WHO HIM IS, so I can know that person and love that person for all those qualities.

To some extent I have a tiny understanding of what you are saying and I think I am saying the same thing only a different way. So if you both could help me see if I am not clearly understanding what you mean, please let me know.

TMTS,
I did look awesome and I felt awesome. What it accomplished was destroying my self-esteem in a mind game way. That as a pattern that was establishing itself into my life more and more and I become complacent and acceptant of the horrible way people treated me or I allowed them to treat me.

And I am really appreciative of this because I have hit a total plateau and don't want to lose the momentum.

My next target weight is 200 and I am eating as healthy as I can, but that doesn't seem to be enough right now. I exercise when I can. So I am taking suggestions on how I can develop my food plan into losing again.

OK. I agree with this.

So I am equating that to an ADDICTION because I did it all the time or most of the time. I fed something inside of me that I need to get rid of so to speak. And I have to STOP IT and I am working on the steps as a way to STOP IT.

Another way maybe to say it is I am addicting to fixing my H and it's HIS LIFE TO LIVE, not mine.

His life is his journey and I just want to be a part of it and complement him, not DO IT FOR HIM.

GREAT!! I had this ADDICTION but not just with MY HUSBAND..but with everybody and everything...

I GET WHAT YOU ARE SAYING!!

ALLRIGHT!!!!

I think the balloon idea is a visual for me to do and will really help me turn him over to G-d once and for all

How did you begin to address this ADDICTION and when differences did you start to notice?

I would imagine I don't just have it with my H, but many others in my life. This one person just seems to be the strongest. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am ADULT CHILD OF AN ALCOHOLIC..have been working on this stuff one way or the other..FOREVER..LOL...

I guess working THE STEPS..reading all the literature...years of psychotherapy...my H's affair...

What can I say?

Life is soo much easier since I've finally, finally ACCEPTED and ACKNOWLEDGED that I can ONLY CONTROL MYSELF...

AND

I SURRENDERED MY LIFE TO JESUS (my belief, I know)..and that was my answer, Queenie...HE is my PERSONAL SAVIOUR...

ALL TO JESUS, I SURRENDER...

Hi Skins,

Haven't been around much lately, but wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I'm thinking about you....

Will try to catch up on your thread later.

I to an an ADULT CHILD OF ALCOHOLICS...both my parents not to mention it went back as far on my dad's side and his parents.

I don't think I really have ever TRULT address this, so it's MY TIME.

This is my BATTLE with G-d. G-d is my savior and I am going to LEARN how to COMPLETELY SURRENDER TO HIM. There is NO OTHER WAY.


Hi Chai, I miss you. I'm doing better. Learning lots and needing to keep moving forward.

I need to put some concentrated effort into my Plan B letter so that is ready to go. I want to get my legal papers to the lawyer today if he is open and have that move forward.

It's an amazingly beautiful day here and I was going to call WH and see if he wanted to meet for a walk? Maybe play frisbee?

How are you doing?