You trust that if God doesn't intervene in that way that He has something better in store for you. In our finite minds we think we know A makes me happy, B makes me sad. God has endless options to bless us in our faithfulness to Him. You cannot yet fathom what He will do with your life...with or without your husband.




Your new life looks like today. Today is your new life. It isn't next year, or five or ten years from now. You are living your new life RIGHT NOW, sweetie.

SG, why do you think you get the know the plans He has for you? He says HE knows the plans He has for you, to prosper you, not to harm you. He DOESN'T then say, and I'm going to tell you all about those plans. Trust Him that He will prosper you but don't expect for God to tell you exactly how.

You are doing this, SG! Look at how much you have survived. You came from the darkest moments of your life, to grow and prosper into this beautiful, confident woman. God is already prospering you, right in the midst of suffering. And He isn't going to walk away from you now.

This is one of the most insightful things that I have seen on this board. As BS we learn quite quickly here that we must make changes to ourselves, and to see a WS come to the same conclusion about himself is very encouraging.

We need to remember this Queenie, because I think we get caught up in this trap of try to will them back to us, reality and G-d.

You are giving yourself very good advice here. It's funny how instinctively we know what to do, but we let other people (ie WS) throw us off path. Stay the course, my friend, stay the course.

I am praying to get to this point, enjoying just the day and what today holds for me. The process is when I look back and just know it was good. Does that make sense.

I really have to just focus on today. Just living today as best as I can. Let G-d worry about my tomorrows and what he has planned.

I can pray for this right?

I intellectually get this and I am really in G-ds hands trusting him, but this registers something inside of me. But then again, if I am just living one day at a time, today probably one second at a time, then worry about something in the future isn't living in my NEW LIFE. So we can discuss that when it happens. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I COMPLETELY GET THIS. In fact, I remember so clearly as if it was this second G-d talking to me and telling me that my H is miserable in his life and TOTALLY blames me and our M. H believes that this woman is going to make him happy, and the reality is, NO ONE but himself and his RELATIONSHIP with G-d can make him happy. It was that day that G-d let me understand he knew how much I loved my H and that I tried to live his journey and that WAS NOT my place. I tried to play G-d and I know NO RIGHT because I am NOT G-d. And it was that day that I came to truly understand and WALK in FAITH that this was a SPIRITUAL BATTLE between G-d and my H. If there is NOTHING ELSE I KNOW, it is that. And it is SOMETHING he IS going to have to WALK THROUGH HIMSELF.

I really like this one, because I'm getting lost in what to pray for. Thanks, SMB and TST

I just realized that I unconditionally trusted a MAN, my H to take care of me all the days of my LIFE. That was WRONG, it was G-d that I NEED to TRUST UNCONDITIONALLY to take care of me all the days of my life. I just have to understand I gave something precious away to a man and it was G-d that deserved it all along. He is the ONE who will take care of me, I just have to surrender daily to WHAT that is. So easier said than done. BUT I CAN pray for the WILLINGNESS.

I know.

G-d has FAITH in ME, that I WILL, so I should have FAITH in him for what he has planned.

One of the things that I loved most about being M is the time when you just share, laugh, talk, hold and comfort. I JUST MISS IT. I think somehow I need to find a way to have G-d become this and stop relying on someone else to be that.

Or isn't that what a relationship is all about? Here is where I get confused and TODAY, I don't need to go there.

I hope everyone is having a good day, you have all given me lots to think about and work through. Thank goodness G-d is right here to help me work through the questions. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My GROWTH was in LEARNING that I HAVE MYSELF! I don't need another person to make me WHOLE. My H ENHANCES who I am and my life but I don't NEED him to SURVIVE...like I used to...when he left me, I felt like I couldn't possibly live without him..didn't know how..like you say, he had become MY GOD..I even had put him up on a pedestal..which HE HATED..I think that's partly why he took that walk on the WILD SIDE..because of my overly high expectations of him...

LEARN TO LOVE AND VALUE YOURSELF..YOU, a CHILD OF GOD...YOU, a WOMAN who is SPECIAL and WORTHY..

Let HIM be IN CHARGE of YOUR DESTINY..

YOU are to BE STILL and learn to LOVE and APPRECIATE who YOU ARE...

just BE YOU

I do know this. I really do. I never needed him because he made me whole. I wanted him because he enhanced me as you say.

When he left, what I found was that I was dependent on him for way more than I realized. Financially, emotionally, security, etc. Not because he made me WHOLE. I wanted him to make me happy, and THAT WAS NOT HIS JOB. That was mine to seek from G-d.

What I didn't know what that I was a WONDERFUL person with or without him. That is what I am in the processing of learning. This is DEFINTELY what I am learning.

It's funny, I find that daily who I AM is growing stronger and stronger. I feel life again inside of me where there wasn't any. The way I am dressing, walking etc. is becoming someone who exudes life and love. The person I really am deep inside. I actually feel free in so many ways from that torment, sadness and confusion.

As you say, I just need to be still... and continue to learn to love what G-d is creating in me. The wanting the enhancement of a mate will just be in G-ds time and I don't need to worry about that today, do I?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Queenie... (((((Queenie)))))

I will keep reminding you of your own words until you believe it...we do, now it's your turn.


He loosing out on this deal while you became a GODDESS

Thank you.....

He is losing out on the deal. And such a loss it is.

Amen, Amen, Amen!!

I also thought for a minute that I couldn't live without him, boy was I wrong. Now I'm getting to do what I've always wanted to do for this family to make our lives better. And that's the TRUTH, your WS doesn't make you complete or whole, God does. Your WS just compliments you.

I also made my husband my God. God commands for us not to make anyone else or anything else our God. He is the only God. You can't serve two masters. I believe God has helped me to wake up to set my priorities straight. And that is putting Him FIRST, b/c I always put my WH first...and God did not like that, and I believe He did what He did to wake me up and let me now that He is my ONLY God.

When you put Him FIRST, everything else will fall into place. When you put Him FIRST and praise him (telling him Thank You throughout the day, whether you're going through good times or bad) He WILL change your circumstance. I must admit, I know sometimes it's hard to see but the word tells us to walk by faith and not by sight.

OMGoodness, SMB that was great. You're right on that, too! He sure doesn't say that He will tell us how He's going to prosper us. He just lets us know that He WILL. That's where our faith comes in. Oh Thank You Jesus...that was great.

So, My1st..

How do you know that you are putting G-d first. I think I am by talking to him all the time, asking him for guidance.

You know what, maybe it will just happen and I won't even realize it when it does. It will become a part of me like breathing.

I agree with you My1st. Actually I never thought of it like this. Something I NEED to remember and just keep on walking.

SMB, that was a very powerful statement that you said. I never thought of it like that. Thanks....

FAITH..... BE STILL.... And LIVE TODAY for the day it IS. Which I might add is a pretty awesome one. The sun is out, and it's the bluest skies you ever saw are in Seattle... LOL

Nice post SMB.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You are giving it to God when you pray..."I want what You want."

When asked your opinion say, "I want what He wants..."

When trying to decide, "What do You want?"

When seeking direction "What would He have me do?"

When asked what was the most important of all the commandments, Jesus answered that it was this..."To love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength." and then he added that the second most important was "To love your neighbor as yourself."

After that, you can pretty much do what ever you want.

Psalm 42:1&2As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

42:11 Why so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God."

Psalm 33:4&5 For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of His unfailing love.

Mark,

One of my most favorite prayers in my Shabbat service is just what you wrote above - the V'ahavta prayer.

This is considered the most important prayer in Judaism, and its twice-daily recitation is a mitzvah (religious commandment).

V’a-hav-ta eit A-do-nai E-lo-he-cha,
b’chol l’va-v’cha,
u-v’chol naf-sh’cha,
u-v’chol m’o-de-cha.
V’ha-yu ha-d’va-rim ha-ei-leh,
A-sher a-no-chi m’tsa-v’cha ha-yom, al l’va-ve-cha.
V’shi-nan-tam l’-va-ne-cha, v’di-bar-ta bam
b’shiv-t’cha b’vei-te-cha,
uv-lech-t’cha va-de-rech,
u-v’shoch-b’cha uv-ku-me-cha.
Uk-shar-tam l’ot al-ya-de-cha,
v’ha-yu l’to-ta-fot bein ei-ne-cha.
Uch-tav-tam, al-m’zu-zot bei-te-cha, u-vish-a-re-cha.

L’ma-an tiz-k’ru, va-a-si-tem et-kol-mits-vo-tai
vi-h’yi-tem k’do-shim lei-lo-hei-chem.
A-ni A-do-nai E-lo-hei-chem,
a-sher ho-tsei-ti et-chem mei-e-rets Mits-ra-yim
li-h’yot la-chem lei-lo-him;
A-ni A-do-nai E-lo-hei-chem…

Did you understand that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Actually what it is saying is....

"And you shall love...", contain the commands to love God with all one's heart, soul, and might; to remember all commandments and "teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit down and when you walk, when you lie down and when you rise" (Deut 6:7); to recite the words of God when retiring or rising; to bind those words "on thy arm and thy head" (interpreted as tefillin), and to inscribe them on the door-posts of your house and on your gates (referring to mezuzah).

I really really appreciate your scripture strength. Remember I am signed up daily for it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And it begins with Deut 6:4...Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One... Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Elohenu Adonai Ehad. (Or Echad depending on whose pronunciation you're using.)

It really looks cool in Hebrew characters...But, alas, this site does not support it.

Or koine Greek either...

For anybody that wants to see what it looks like in Hebrew, see Bible Gateway

BTW, the version I most often use to quote from is the NIV and reads like this...

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

A friend of mine is a rabbi, SG. And another friend is about to go to Israel to spend a year there working with The Friends of Israel organization.

I considered studying Hebrew at one time but decided that I could look things up and see what they said rather than reading it for myself. I did study koine Greek for a couple years and discovered that many of my translations were accurate enough to read in English rather than having to do my own translation. I just wasn't going to take anyone's word for what it said. If I have a question about a passage, I go to Vine's or other sources now instead of digging that far. And I can always call "Rabbi Ron" if I get stuck...

Mark

SG,
Draw strength from the Lord and from His mighty power.

Remember you are the daughter of the King!

Press on and you will get through this. Look at how far you've come already. I have learned a lot by reading your awesome posts and your thread. You are one of my heros on this board.

Endurance produces strength; and strength proven character. You've got all this by the grace of God!

Seeing the glory of the Lord on someone's face is so attractive and I can't even imagine your beauty inside and out.

Trust in knowing that whatever plan that God has for you, or for any of us, it is more wonderful and bountiful than anything we could ever come up with on our own!

Shalom,
Free

Take GOOD CARE of yourself, Queenie.

I'll be leaving tomorrow morning to go away for a few days...

Mark,

Has different religions always interested you or do you feel a pull towards this?

Oh Free, I am NO hero. Not when I have SO MUCH to still learn and walk through.

Right now, all I have is the Lord to show me the path.

This is what I am hanging onto.

Oh Mimi, You are gone by now.... I'm going to miss you and hope you have a great trip. I wonder where you are going? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Something very weird has been happening the last few days. For years my H would say we didn't have a conversation when I believed we did. Or he would say he told me something when I did't remember. I always took it as I was wrong.

Two days ago, my son and I had an interaction where I gave him a set of instructions. He heard it differently, and got very frustrated with me when he showed up at work and told me I didn't say that. I just apologized and without questioning it, said it was my fault.

Then yesterday, my boss was confronting me about something she has specifically given me permission to do about two months ago. One of my co-workers heard the conversation. And then yet again, I had a conversation with my boss where we arranged a meeting for this morning. I specifically asked her if she wanted it on her calendard, she said no. There were witnesses to the conversation. My B was late this morning and when I commented that we had that meeting, she said the conversation never took place.

I have NO IDEA, what this is about. But I lived in this insanity and just assumed that I was always wrong and took the blame. Very clearly I was not AT FAULT.

Any thoughts. I feel like my life was a gaslight and I am just getting a clue that all those years I thought I was crazy or stupid, wasn't true.

I am just putting out there that it's one of those moments. I don't really have the days anymore, just moments.

When I think of them physically together and it kills me inside. When I think of how he just threw me away like garbage. It hurts.

When I listen to how much pain is in my children's heart from their words to their writings on myspace I want to scream at the one person I should be able to tell anything to.

I have FAITH it will be ok. I have FAITH there is a plan better than I can even imagine.

I just need to get this pain out and let you all know how much I miss you today and hope you are doing well. I feel alone out here, and not sure why.

But then I remember what you have all taught me. And seeking G-d I am, with all my heart and soul for his love and guidance. I just want to be held right now.