Why not start now? Do you have a sewing machine?

How are you trying to take care of yourself?

Ohh, I can just feel the kick in the stomach that must have been.

I'm OK. Our recovery is moving along. I look back on the most hurtful times and I do not know how I got through them. Much of the worst has dissipated.

Our kids are doing OK-- DD20 is great in NY, DS23 is getting by in rehab (still needs a job, and hasn't made any real steps towards independence, but he is alive and doing little things every day that are "better.") DS13 has been needing me a lot lately, if you KWIM. So we played Knex today and worked on some vocabulary words and walked the dog. H has to work all weekend.

I've been trying to eat more. Sleeping better, smiling more.

I have a machine, but it really needs a tune up. I'm so in to scrapbooking though-- not that I've done a ton. That went on the way backburner when life went down hill... but I actually did a page wednesday night ;-)

you all post too fast for me to keep up lol

Skins,
Two quick questions for you. I've watched Fiddler on the
roof my entire life and I just watched it again last night with my Mom.
When they celebrate the Sabbath, what does it mean when the women wave their hands over the candles?
Also, why do they do the spit-on-their-fingers thing?

Just curious. I know every single song on that soundtrack and I love it! We're Catholic, but my parents had several Jewish friends and we even had a minorah in our house growing up that one of them had given my Mom as a gift.

Serenity, I saw my WH and OW driving the other way in our car and it just crushed my spirit.

I just have a good old dose of victimitis. I just think about how he just threw me away and wouldn't give me a chance. Just like a sock or dog.

It hurts and I want the pain to stop.

I'm glad you are taking better care of yourself. It's important for us to learn to do that.

Chrys... what does your hubby do that he works all weekend?

Hey Free, I love that movie too.



I have to think about how to answer this.

I edited my post ((skins)) to take that question away, but I see you read it and responded. Like I said, I can't keep up. I'm sorry you saw what you did. BTDT-yesterday!!
We live in such a small community I do my best NOT to look at any of the vehicles going in the opposite direction, it's not easy or safe probably, but I really don't want to see them together. I felt it in my bones yesterday that I could have almost rammed her vehicle when she turned down our street to take the kids to daycare. Lucky for all it was a fleeting feeling. I pray to have patience and not act like a fool, but every now and again...ugh it's just so hard.

You know both of our WHs are probably thinking they don't deserve us back!! That will surely make them resent the trash they have right now!

There, now my meaness is out ;-) shame on me!!

Skinny one,

My H is a physician, and he had to do the hospital rounds this weekend, and it is a busier than usual weekend.

Serenity,

We really don't know what they are thinking.

But I doubt mine gives me one thought. He treats me like a pile of garbage that was thrown away and is gone....

No rush! I never thought to ask their friends when I was younger, but now I'm curious.

Are you feeling any better you hot Goddess mama?!!

I know what you saw was like a kick in the gut, I'm so sorry. I've been there too. He's just a punk. A plain old idiot not worthy of Wonderful YOU.

(((skins)))

Hey Free,

One of them is because it has something to do with lighting the lights on shabbat and bringing it in.

the other one is a yiddish thing that I have to ask a friend. I don't know my yiddish customs to well....

It just brought back how he thinks of me as just garbage and it hurts because I love him so much.

Chrys....

That is a hard field to be in now.....

I know, but you AREN'T garbage. At all.

He is the problem. He is the one with issues and is not a respectful or considerate person. It has NOTHING to do with your self worth.

You deserve a man who will treat you with respect and love and cherish you, his wife.

How can it be that this one person in my life has so much power to make me feel like a piece of garbage who doens't deserve to live.

And yet, when I really look at him and talk to him like I did yesterday I just shake my head for the loss of a wonderful man.

Oh, Free, it hurts so bad.... The worst pain that keeps on coming when you least expect it. I want to just cry the pain all out and have it be done. But then I remember who I am. Someone who loves this man with all my heart and soul and believes in him.

I have FAITH in G-d that he is making a life for me. It's just hard at times.

Oh, just work through the pain. My ex treated me worse than garbage. I was lucky he didn't run over me on the way out of here.

And now he suddenly realizes that he was whacked out.

Hey Believer,

How did he treat you worse than garbage and how did you not accept it, or did you?

I read your part in the Goddess thread about being old, not too good looking and men chasing after you.

It's so weird because from talking to you on here, I imagined you to be this most beautiful woman full of life.

Bracha,

God does not make garbage.

You are a child of the King.

You are behaving like royalty.

You are acting with utmost class.

You are amazing.

Because you married him. You loved him. You had children with him. It is only natural that it is going to hurt. You were together a long time! But THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

The key is not to give into the power of your mind telling you it is hopeless, you are sad, why didn't he love me, what is wrong with me, etc. You have to MAKE yourself stop Skins. The mind is the Devil's playground and he will use it to his advantage so you must fight against those negative thoughts.

Write positive things down on a piece of paper and keep it handy. Write a few scriptures of hope too. When those sad and pitiful thoughts come up, grab that paper and replace them with the good things. Say them out loud. Speak as if they WERE and you will eventually make a new habit of good thoughts. But you have to redirect and do it every day.

It's the image of the man you wanted him to be, not the man he really is right now. That is what you are holding on to.

Let me ask you this, why haven't you tried a Plan B yet? You have been doing Plan A for so long and it is hurting you tremendously, while he gets his jollies doing whatever he wants to make you feel like crap.

It may give you a temporary "fix" when you see him, but Skins it only leaves an empty hole when he turns around and walks out the door. What is keeping you from going dark?

Free

Due to the chemicals in their brain during the affair, they just stop caring about everything that used to be important to them - spouses, kids, pets, family, friends, you name it. They are getting their high from the affair.

My ex was just completely out of my life. He would stop by and lie to me about once every couple of months. That was it.

And he used to ge a very Godly man. One of the things I fell in love with is how well he treated everyone. He would treat a down and out man on the street the same way he would treat the most famous person on earth.

But after the affair hit he turned into a stranger. I'll never forget the COLDNESS in his eyes.

Chrys, you are a gift that I need tonight. Thank you...

When times were tough what did you do to get out of it?

I know one way... I told Mark I would have a scripture that I learned. I read and found one last night. Now I just need to post it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />