Queenie,

The story I related is actually from Numbers. Lots of good stuff in Numbers, once you get past the census...

Including a donkey that speaks in chapter 22.

One thing that often is missed in the story of Exodus is that before then God spoke with certain men. He called Abram. He spoke with Jacob. He sent Moses...But as the people left Egypt for the promised land, God HIMSELF went with them. He led them by day and watched over the camp by night.

In II Kings (Melachim B) chapter 6 we read of a siege of the capital of the Northern kingdom (Samaria). The siege was so bad that the people were starving and some actually resorted to cannibalism.The prophet Elisha said that God would cause food to become cheap because there would be so much of it.

The king's right hand man refused to believe and the prophet told him he would get to see it but would never get to eat any of it.

And outside the gates of the city sat 4 lepers. They, too were starving and began to wonder what they should do. They said, "If we sit here, we will starve. And if we go into the city, the famine is in there too and we will starve as well." But then they decided that if they went to the enemy camp, the worst that could happen was that they would be executed as spies. But they might be taken prisoner and if so, the enemy would feed them.

So they went to the enemy camp and before they arrived, God caused the enemy to hear the sound of thousands of chariots on the horizon as if coming to join the battle. Fearing that the king had sent for help from the Egyptians, they fled, leaving behind all of their supplies and in fact leaving the tables set with food.

So when the 4 lepers arrived, they found a feast awaiting them. They ate their fill and stashed supplies for the future. And then they realized they had the answer to the salvation of the entire kingdom in their hands and returned to tell the king of the good fortune.

At first, no one believed them, but soon the whole city was running through the gates to get food and equipment from the enemy camp. And the right hand man of the king, who refused to believe was trampled in the rush and died before eating a single bite.

Great story, but how to apply it...?

We find ourselves seemingly alone and without hope. Where we sit will be our undoing and if we go with our first instinct, we will also fail.

But when we trust God and go to face our fears (the enemy) we find that God has already been there ahead of us and has set the table with a great feast, the likes of which we couldn't even imagine before we saw it. And after we have had our fill and our own future is secured, we find that we also have the answer for others in the same situation.

Mark

I changed my name after 90 days. You go to MY HOME and click on EDIT at PERSONAL INFORMATION and change the SCREEN NAME.

Mimi,

I think the question had to do with changing the title of the thread, which goes away after so many days, and I think it is 60 days.

Name change can happen any time, I believe and many have changed their names for only a day or part of a day and then changed back.

Chrys,

I'll try that. I was actually thinking of switching my food plan to either the blood diet, I am B+ or a diabetic diet. I have given up sugar, almost totally, I still have those hidden ones, but very limited. What do you think. I will get me a bottle of daily vitamins. I use Nutrilite and they are made from plant concentrates. Very good quality.

Mark My ignorance of Torah is showing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

There is a message here on the tip of my tongue, but I am not getting it. Can you help please?

It was in reference to changing the thread. However, Mimi, I like your idea of changing my name. For a few reasons. One, I would be less conspicious should anyone EVER think of visiting this sight and Two, it would be a new name for me with my new life that I am creating. What do you think to me changing it to Queenie?

Ok, I have taking some steps for my new life this afternoon. After work, I met with a realtor agent who is going to begin the process of helping me look for two types of houses.

One for me and my boys and one in case H comes home. I am really concentrating on my own to be honest, but keeping that other door open. She knows what I want, price range is what we are looking at and I feel excitement inside. I am working towards building my new future instead of waiting on H to come back. Who knows where this takes me, but I can keep trying.

Then I signed on yesterday to a family blog. I have a real family. I hardly ever talk to them, but I really have a family.

Queenie,

Perfect, since I already seem to be calling you that, along with about half the board.

But won't your Skins be disappointed? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

The story is in Numbers chapter 11 and I actually already used it in a post on my Musings thread.

But the story in II Kings has to do with trusting God to care for us when we are at our end. When we have done all we can do and are about to expire from our efforts, that is when we have to face that which scares us to death head on.

And once we face those fears, we so often find that God has already planned a way through the crisis and will not only give us exactly what we need, but a surplus as well.

And then, once our own needs have been taken care of, it is God's continued blessing that gives us what we can share with others so that they too, can share in the blessing.

Just like the lepers who were near death and without any hope, we have to reach the end of ourselves; not only were they saved, but through them the entire kingdom as well and all because they did the unthinkable and went to the enemy camp.

When Elisha told the king what was about to happen and said how cheap food was about to become, the king's right hand man asked, "If God should open a window in heaven, might this be?"

When God closes a door, He always opens a window...and pours out a blessing on any who trust Him completely. Those who doubt, miss the blessing and not only them, but those who could be helped by them as well.

So, do you follow what I'm getting at yet? Or do I need to spell it out for ya? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Mark

Hi SG,

You've had some great advice here today.

And I think the story Mark was telling, which is awesome, is that if you take the steps to face your fears and trust God to help you during it, that those fears will be nothing for you to overcome because God has taken care of it for you.

The Lepers were afraid to go to the enemy camp but faced their fears and did it anyway. When they arrived, God scared away the enemy and they were able to eat their food and share it with other people.

I think in your case, I see this as a lesson to go into plan B where you will get peace, if you trust God to take care of it and not worry about the enemy (WH & PBL).

SG, I've been were you are at before and I cannot tell you how freeing it was when I decided that I was going to live for ME and not worry about what my H did. Funny, that's when my H came back. He found it attractive on me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


{{{{{Skinsgal}}}}}

No, I think you pretty much just spelled it out for me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thank you though for the offer, however, I might need to take a rain check in case I get in the WAY again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

There was a time in my life, well say about 8.5 months ago when I couldn't have done it because I was defined by my love for this team.

Today, I am defined by what G-d is creating in me and I no longer needs to be skinsgal as that definition. I just want to pick the right new name. And I like Queenie..

Oooops....I wanted to help her out in case you didn't come back sooner Mark. I wanted her to go to bed with that story in her head. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I really needed to hear it too. Thanks Mark.

Ok, on to Plan B. I am looking around for an example of Plan B, can you help me maybe find one that I can modify?

Let's try this name on for a few days.....

I'm starting a new life....

Queenie wasn't available and so this was what I came up with.....

I like it, QNL.

Thanks 14th.... I appreciate that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

No problem! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

LOL

I don't know anything about the blood diet, Queenie.

The diabetic diets are good and are the basis for things like Weight Watchers.

You can also get a customised diet plan for free at sparkpeople.com. And there are pretty cool online tracking tools there that will set goals, count your calories and exercise.

Good going on the vitamins!

like the new name!

Thanks Chrys,

I'll try that website..and check into a food plan there.

I have this idea everyone....Tell me if it's bad or not. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When WH AA birthday roles around I will be in Plan B... I was thinking of creating a ecard that I can send to him on that day.. Saying something like.....

Happy 19th Bday...... I ordered this card for you on January 28th b/c I knew that I wouldn't be in your life on your AA birthday. I figured out the date like I said I would and wanted you to know that I hope you honor your 19 years of sobriety.

And may you find recovery along with your sobriety.... LOL - ok, I'll leave that part off.

Seriously, should I create it and have it sent on that day?

Ok, Here goes my Plan B Letter,

My dearest WH,

Each day that goes by it becomes excruciatingly painful to watch what is happening to our life and marriage, therefore, it is with the saddest of hearts that I must write you this letter. 24 years ago we made a vow to G-d and 10 years ago repeated that vow under the Chupah when we truly became as one. We were so much in love on those two days. The first time when we were young and full of hope and promise and the second time when we were full of making a complete lifetime commitment. We had been through so much and recommitted our love to each other, only it was stronger and deeper because we knew what we were capable of being together.

I know that you’ve been unhappy for a while, for many reasons, some of which you may not be sure of. I have come to understand and accept responsibility that my behavior in the past contributed in part to your unhappiness. I’ve worked extremely hard these past couple of months to humble myself before G-d and ask him to create me into the wife, mother, and woman he always envisioned for me. People can change if they are willing to take a long, hard look in the mirror and hold themselves accountable for who they are and what they have done. I did that and I’m proud of the person I have become and continue to become because G-d is guiding me.

G-d has instilled in me that we can have a brand new, loving, and completely fulfilling marriage. I believe we can learn from our mistakes, grow from them and with effort and commitment we can begin to slowly rebuild the love that became the foundation of our marriage and start to become a family again, for our sake and our childrens’. I believe we can have a marriage based on trust and honesty where we both feel safe sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, fears and dreams. The kind of marriage we both imagined when we said “I do”. I’m not naive, I know there’s been a lot of damage done. It won’t be easy but it can be done. I’ve had the good fortune in the last couple of months to meet many people who have been able to do it.

I’ve suffered tremendous pain from learning about your relationship with OW and dealing with our marriage falling apart and your decision to leave our home. I never once stopped loving you and I have not forgotten what a wonderful man you are. I know you better than anyone else, and I believe in you completely. It is my love and faith in G-d that has given me the strength and hope to go on. But the pain has become too much to bear.

I do not want this. I want to be your wife, in every sense of the word. I want to intimacies that we always dreamed about, to hold you, talk with you, laugh and cry with you, comfort you, as well as share the joy of raising a family with you. I want my soul mate to come home. As much as I want this, you have made it clear that you don’t, and as long as you feel this way, I cannot be a part of your life except as the mother of your children, it is simply too painful.

Therefore, I must ask you not to contact me at all. This is something I believe is necessary to preserve and protect the love I still have for you before it slips away completely. Should you need to get ahold of me for an emergency or contact me in any way, AB will be an intermediary for is. He can be reached at xxxx or emailed at xxx.

Your children are old enough to make their own decisions whether they want see you or not. I will not encourage or discourage them in spending time with you or talking with you. Your relationship with them is what you are making it, it is your responsibility. I will continue to be the best mother I can be and do whatever is necessary to insure our children’s happiness and make their lives as fulfilling as possible. Please understand that this continuing separation will have lifelong effects on them that can be stopped if you came home.

If, down the road, you have a change of heart and decide you want to give our marriage a chance. By giving it a chance, that means, the OW is no longer a part of your life, and you are willing to work out a plan to restore our marriage and make it what G-d envisioned for us all along. The depth of love and commitment to our marriage is something that I have come to appreciate as having always being there and is G-d given as your covenant wife. I am willing to do whatever is necessary, but until that time, please respect my wishes.

All my love and respect,

Good letter, but it is a little long. I don't know, let's see what some of the others think.

WS's usually have a very short attention span. Maybe because they don't want to hear the Plan B letter.

The Plan B letter was the only letter I ever sent my WS, and later when I referred to it, he asked me "What letter?"