I saw that movie, Queenie, really enjoyed it! Hope you did too, hope you had a nice day!

I keep being tempted to go tanning... right next door to where I work, I might treat myself this week.

HI Serenity,

I LOVED the movie. Of course I cried the whole way through pretty much. Am completely exhausted.

Remember that poem, if you love something set it free, if it comes back it was yours, if not, then it wasn't. I really have to absolutely, unconditionally set him free and move on with my own life.

My WH is losing the best things in life, but he has that right and I have no right to control him. I just will have to learn to love him and never be with him.

Who knows maybe one day G-d will have another man planned for me to love and be in a relationship with. Until then, I'm just going to make my own bucket list.

Ok Mark,

Any chance of getting a little direction of Torah to read tonight. I am on vacation and would like to dialoge with you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Queenie,

I need to get to bed, since I'm not on vacation, have been sick all week and have to be at church in about 7 hours...But let's see what I can come up with.

Weren't you going to ask me a question about something last week?

Deut 28:7-8 The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but will flee from you in seven. The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to.

Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

How was Shabbat?

I hope you slept well. I fell asleep. I was exhausted. Worked through much yesterday.

Anyways, I hope your sermon goes well today. I'll be thinking about you. Yes, I did have a question. What is the Passover sacrifice? Is that what we do in a seder?

I was thinking that somehow I need to incorporate lighting the candles, blessing the bread and grape juice somehow each week in my life. I miss doing that because I don't go to services anymore.

I am looking at how I have left a lot of the traditions I used to do because I did them for my H and our family, and now he isn't here and I don't have the energy.

But what reasonates over and over in my head, is I am not living a Jewish life right now, I am seeking G-d, but not in my Judaism, which was so important to me. Shabbat was something that G-d commanded and I am feeling like I need to practice this in my life regularly as I imagine it will help me to rest and find peace in my life.

Is there a reason you don't go to services anymore?

My hubby and I were very active in our church - leaders. When he had his affair it was so difficult to go alone.....But I forced myself to go, and am so glad I did.

Partly because my temple wants me to just walk away from my M. They believe I am better off without him.

And I go to AA meetings now. We don't have a rabbi so I am not really missing a sermon. But I miss the Judaism and way of life in my life a great deal.

Oh, I missed that your temple wants you to walk away. That is sad.

My church backed me 100%. The pastor even contacted my husband and told him he was no longer welcome until he came in and talked to the pastors. I can't tell you how good that felt, to be supported like that by our church.

Sounds like your temple needs some MB educating.

Gee, it's hard to believe that any place of worship would ask you to walk away from a marriage.

Why is that?

Because he was supposed to take over as President and pretty much messed them over because he quit the board and temple.

They could use a good ole value system. And the fact that all but one of them have been divorced and remarried.

Well WH emailed me this morning.

He needs the letter today, can he come by after work. I really think I want to call him and tell him that I have dropped it off at the food bank. What do you think of me doing that.

I know some of the people down there and would love to do a little exposure of WH and OP.

The other thing that is frustrating me is he hasn't said one word about what he is doing about the job. Is it unreasonable to think that in his attempt to get something from me he could let me know if he quit his job or is that silly on my part? Or is it an expectation? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Advice? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Q,

Give him the letter. Don't play games. If he has a new job, the employer has 1 month to report him as a new hire to the OCSE (Office of Child Support Enforcement). This will record his place of employment and any orders of child or spousal support will be enforced with a letter going directly to his new employer.

L.

My vote is to keep it between you and him. Your lawyer said it was OK so just simply go with it. Just simply give him the letter.

You're still wanting TO DO something..LET HIM GO, Queenie...

You are both right. I came to the same conclusion. I had planned to call him and let him know the letter will be taped to the door at work. I don't want to see him, it's too hurtful and sad for me.

I can't continue to play games and manipulate because this is not my battle. It's G-d's and I am just getting in the way of him reachig my WH and continuing the work that he is creating in me.

It's just so hard and not what I want to do. I'm just simply scared that this is forever. And when I look at that, I have to change my thinking because I only have today.

G-d needs me away from this insanity to heal myself completely and create a new life. I can't do that intwined with a sick, alien, destructive man who is out to destroy his life and not care that he is hurting other people.

Thank you both..... I might need a little hand holding during the withdrawals. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

GOOD JOB, QUEENIE!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Can we do a little Affair 101 to help me right now, please.

It's done. He has the letter, actually ran into him and crack ho at the school, gave him a hug and talked to him for a few.

He couldn't wait to get away from me. He quit his job, and I called him to ask what he had said. He didn't want to talk, said he would call me back. He didn't imagine that.

He asked me what I had been doing all day. I told him looking for houses. That I found one that I liked. I didn't invite him to go see it.

He left, she followed. I went to the lawyer, finished the final papers and they are going to court tomorrow.

How do I deliver Plan B, because the next step he is served papers or I go to work and tell him what I've done, hand him the letter and walk out of his life forever.

Please tell me I am doing the right thing. It's what G-d wants me to do. I falling apart. I don't want this hurt inside of me anymore.

Hi Mark,
Hopefully summer will be on its way soon, Lord knows it was frigid today!...a picnic sounds like fun....It's always nice to meet fellow chicagoan Mb'ers!

sorry for the slight TJ Queenie, hope you are doing well today.

Hi Queenie,

That was just one more step. Plan B will be but another.
All to get you to your final destination where you will open the door to happiness. Will your H be there with you, it's to early to tell, but you will make it I have no doubt.
You protected yourself and took care of something that was not easy for him either. So well done.