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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 36
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 36 |
so it's been over a year since dday and as much as i would like to be as strong as a lot of you on this board i am letting go. it saddens me and i still feel like a failure but i know that it takes two to make a marriage work.
i just wanted to say how strong a lot of you are to make your marriages work, i just think it wasn't in the cards for me.
good luck to all of those still fighting for the ones they love. keep up your strength.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,087
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,087 |
Hi UTB,
I'm sorry to see you go... You are correct that it does take two to rebuild a M.
I hope that you have learned some things while you've been here that you can apply... Even if your M doesn't make it, YOU can recover and rebuild your life.
All the best to you.
Semper Fi,
RIF
Me, BS
Her, Forgiven
Married Dec 86
Multiple A's that ended '90
Rebuilding In Faith since then...
Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
UTB, you don't need to leave. Sometimes the definition of success IS divorce. There is no reason for you to leave. There are lots of divorced ppl here who can help you through this time.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 974
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 974 |
it saddens me and i still feel like a failure You wrote on your other thread: and i always welcome a swift kick in the a$$ to get me out of my funk Consider it done! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> You are NOT a failure!
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. - Robert McCloskey
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
so it's been over a year since dday and as much as i would like to be as strong as a lot of you on this board i am letting go. it saddens me and i still feel like a failure but i know that it takes two to make a marriage work.
i just wanted to say how strong a lot of you are to make your marriages work, i just think it wasn't in the cards for me.
good luck to all of those still fighting for the ones they love. keep up your strength. I think your exit at this time is premature. You need this board to help you move forward. Willing to stick around and give us a chance? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> L.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
UTB -
Bramble Rose I believe was separated for over 18 months. And look at her now.
If you are giving up b/c of hopelessness, don't. You don't know what G-d is doing in your and your spouses life.
If you are changing and moving on for yourself, keep learning, growing and moving on, but please stay here and be a part of this and help others who may need you.
I can't express how hopeless my sitch seems, and it's been 6 months for me. Let G-d guide you and know you are wanted and welcomed on here wherever you are at.
Warmly,
SG
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 36
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 36 |
i will read from time to time and always ask for help when i need it, even my swift kick <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
i just have the "i am done" feeling and actually telling him i was going to file made me happy. i felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. i woke up yesterday morning having the bad gut feeling. later that evening i get a phone call from a restricted number. a female proceeds to tell me she has been f'ing my husband for months and that i just need to move on. then she hangs up.
that was it for me. i told him when he left that i would never be able to be with him again if he did anything with another woman while he was "finding himself".
maybe in the future i will regret filing and not sticking it out but right now nothing feels more right then going through with it.
that is why i commend all that have stuck it out and still are, i just wasn't strong enough to do so.
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