I met my husband when I was 21. We've been together for 9 years and it's been an emotional rollercoaster (from sheer happiness to extreme sadness) for me in these 9 years. My husband lies to me on and off on small things to big things. I believe my husband is a pathological liar and we've even been to a psychiatrist to seek help to find the root cause, although hubby was not keen on the idea, we stopped after a few expensive sessions. Recently he confessed he's had a minor run in with the law which he committed during one of our tumultous periods, and if lucky, charges will be dropped but if not, he may face weeks or months in jail. I am too embarassed to confide in any family or friends. He is very stressed about this pending charge and I feel that there is good in him still. This might be the wake up call he needs to get help. Should I be supportive during this tough time for him? I have been suffering for such a long time and am so lost and confused right now.

Spending weeks or monthes in jail does not sound minor. If this was the only lie I would might think Ok he is ashamed and wanted to keep it from you to avoid any further embarrasement but if this is an ongoing lie after lie I would really have a heart to heart. Some lies which I consider white lies are used to protect the interests of people,but other lies and as U put it, Pathological is of a more important and serious type of lie. He may be hiding something more. And good people commit crimes also. Yes you should be supportive but be very clear and lay out a foundation of where this is supposed to go.

Two things. First, tell your family. They deserve to know because it might impact them. Also, they love you, unconditionally, even if you may have issues with them. They are the people to whom you can come in a crisis. This is a crisis. How would your mother feel if she found out you were weathering this on your own without her help? She WANTS to help you in times of crisis. I promise.

Second, make sure you are not enabling him by supporting him in NOT owning up to his mistakes. As long as he pays his dues, you can support him; if he tries to skirt it, DO NOT support him!