Looking for Mimi!

Just wondering if you would stop in and tell me your thoughts.

I feel an erie sense of peace right now. Maybe I am just getting stronger. I KNOW that I deserve a good husband. Someone who loves and RESPECTS me. I hope that my WH will once again be that man.

I would appreciate if you would drop in, if for nothing else just to say hi!

HI!!

No time to read or post NOW!!

Please check by tomorrow.

(((Z))))

Zorro,

Just stopping by quickly to say that if you are in Plan A during the holidays, keep your focus on demonstrating to your WH the changes YOU have made/continue to make in YOU.

I know it's hard not to, but try not to think about the changes in him. Yes, it sounds like he is classic cake-eating right now. Yet, as you are in Plan A and he is out of the house, the fact that you get 'some' sort of interaction with him is a good thing for now. Look at these exchanges as opportunities to to the BEST Plan A that you can. Time is short to make that happen, so make it count.

Tell us about your holiday schedule/plans and what kind of Plan A things you are working on.

Keep your chin up, your eyes toward Heaven and keep posting here. Mimi is the Goddess of Plan A, so listen and learn!

Remember, how I related to you awhile back because your situation seems so much like mine. My H had a number of losses prior to starting his affair and started off USING the OW as an ESCAPE and became ADDICTED to it..and because she started filling his LOVE BANK..fell "IN LOVE"...the same is probably true for your WH since the affair has gone on for a number of years...

You have to buy that this is AN ADDICTION. This is EXACTLY what Steve Harley said to me using those words..."YOU'VE GOT TO BUY THIS"..in order to understand what's going on.. is what he said to me...

The OW is his DRUG OF CHOICE for dealing with his DEPRESSION/PTSD. An addiction is caused by her ability to give him that INSTANT HIGH.

So, no, he is not REALLY your H anymore. He your H..UNDER THE INFLUENCE..and he has got to beat this ADDICTION..in order to recover...

You offer him his HOLD ON REALITY..and yes, he would have the BOTH OF YOU..if he could..that's gonna be the value of PLAN B..he will be in that CRAZINESS 24/7..and she's probably pressuring him by now to take that leap into it...

I think it's a good idea for you to keep communication lines open with him regularly..making him really miss it when it gets turned off..even invite him again for the holidays although don't be surprised if he does not come...

Can you reach him directly..leave a VOICE MESSAGE on his CELL PHONE? Let him know that you miss him and that you continue to want to work on your marriage...say this assertively though, not as if you are begging...

Just checking in with an update. I have clear confirmation that my WH is having an affair.

I a trying to BELIEVE that this is an addiction, but am having a hard time doing Plan A. I do not really want to have anything to do with him right now.

WH says he is coming for Christmas Eve day and then again Christmas Day. Which means he will be spending Christmas Eve night with OW. I don't think he should be allowed this luxury of coming and going. I do still have one child who believes in Santa. So am I going to have to do Santa ALONE? I am struggling with this.

I am struggling with a plan right now. Plan A is VERy hard for me right now. Especially since I found a picture of MY husband and the OW.

I don't know if he will ever come back. And do i want my marriage? I want to say 100% yes, but this latest has me wondering. This is a hard time of year.

If anyone can offer input as to a plan right now I would appreciate it. I guess it really is time for Plan B, but that scares me also. I am at an unsure place right now and could use some input. Thanks!

I am feeling sad tonght because I found a picture of my WH and his OW yesterday. This is the first time that I have seen them together or even seen her at all.

Christmas as always been such a special time for our family and this year it is just not. I have not even had time to make cookies like we always do together.

Plan A is very hard right now. Plan B is going to be a necessity. I am just feeling down so if anyone is on tonight and wants to stop in I would appreciate it.

I'm here Zorro. I'll keep talking to you. Are you here?

B

Do you have any friends or family who could come over too, and help keep you strong to Plan A over Christmas?