am very new here and i don't know if this post wud work... I need help though...very badly... me and for my husband...same thing about infidelity.. worse is he admitted falling in love with the other woman...we agreed to keeping our marriage because after all we have that "love" for each other... now my problem is that i have no one else to turn to but my husband.. coping with these feelings of betrayal and trying to move on... i'm afraid though that while i go through the process of resentment, depression, etc. with him by my side, i may just be pushing him away...please help! am i doing the right thing? He hates the repeating things i do... but i just can't help it! he promised to stick with me i can't help being afraid especially that he admitted to still holding on to his feelings with the other woman..

Sunshine,

I'm sorry you find youself in these circumstances; you've found a good place to get help. Please read up on Plan A and Plan B. Is your H still seeing OW? You may want to post in GQII...there are excellent veterans of this board there. Also, I'd recommend putting in your profile your/your H ages, children's ages/genders, when you found out (Dday), and any other pertinent information.

My prayers are with you on this journey.

hopefully you come back being that it's been almost 24 hours and this is only the second reply but let me reassure you most if not all of the people active on this board have been or are going through what you are experiencing

a few responses:
- don't have anybody to talk to about this other than him? go to an individual counselor. can't afford it? try catholic charities. not sure if they do it nationwide but locally that is the most affordable option where i live
- you can't just lash out all your frustration on him repeatedly... yea it will push him away. that's what friends, family or an individual counselor is for
- if he is still in love and seeing this other woman, that has got to stop like right now. make that clear to him but expect there to be alot of bumps along the way because chances are (if you are vigilant) that you will catch him doing it a few more times before all is said and done.

Plan A is hard because it basically requires you not only to forgive but also to shower the wayward spouse with love to show him or her that you are serious about doing your part to make the repairs. His response may not be to your liking right away and that hurts... it really hurts when you catch him contacting her more. But to make it work, that is it in a nutshell.