p.s. apparently, she feels that there is nothing you can do to stop her, and doesn't seem to worry about you divorcing her. Prolonging Plan A under those conditions will only lead to severe emotional symptoms.

Okay.
How do I enact this w/ a 2yo boy involved?
Can you help me with some specifics about how to phrase this to her?
I'm clearly having a difficult time accomplishing what I'm trying to do.
I am committed to saving my marriage for my son, for myself and for my wife. She's in a fog and needs something to pull her out.
Do you all really feel that this is what I need to do at this time?
I'm inclined to follow the advice of others who have survived using this methodology.
I have a call in to Dr. H for a phone session, but don't know how long it will take for that to happen.
Again, do I leave? tell her to leave? Take him away to a neutral relatives place? We're in NH, and her family's in OR.
Should I expose to mutual friends in OR?
She doesn't think this A is any more than a "friendship".
Do I make one more attempt to discuss my disappointment in her for not being more concerned about our family's health, and her unwillingness to put forth a better effort at working on it?
She cites that she quit her job (where OM works) as making an effort, and resents me for "making" her do that. All I really asked of her was to try to adjust her schedule so they wouldn't be working together. (They both only work P/T). She never attempted to do this, and has instead used it as a reason to be upset with me.
Please help with guidance. I know I can not go on like this for much longer.
Do I transfer the money from the joint account we have and leave her high and dry?
So many questions. So much uncertainty. So much pain...

Again.....

So, if she can't commit to NC, then I would suggest to her it is time to start looking for a nice room somewhere within walking distance of her new job. She would be required to pay child support to help you pay for a lady to come watch him during the day. I would have this discussion with her, try.

Doesn't that give her an opportunity to get spooked, take the boy and leave me?

try, I don't think I am going to be able to help you. I would suggest you let Steve Harley help you through this. You are simply too paralyzed with fear for me to be of much help.

Any suggestions on what to do for a few days until I talk to Dr. H?
I just can't seem to get this right...

Did you finish your assignment for that meeting? Read SAA, HNHN and take the EN questionnaire?

If so, please take a look at LMBT by Dobson.

L.

This is why she can do what she can do, she knows she has you by the short hairs.

If your WW files for D that is what she was going to do anyway.

You asking her to leave is not going to cause that and this is not about you getting revenge or teaching her a lesson, this is about YOU keeping what dignity, self esteem, self worth that you have left by unburdening yourself of a cheating W that thinks less of you then dog doo doo in the backyard, do you see? The longer that you LET her and yes, you are letting her run all over you, the longer it will take for you to heal from this. This is about YOU healing and getting on with yourself, if after all she decides to lose the OM and come crawling back and YOU decide that you MIGHT entertain the idea of letting her back, then and only then should you burden yourself again with her.

Everyone here would love for your marriage to work out, hence the name of the site, but she is not willing, so you sitting there taking it is not working.