yes...I am on a mission again.

there is nothing to discuss in this situation. Not every opposing viewpoint is due consideration FH.

I have no intention of helping this poster...since she is either a troll...most likely based on her posts...or she is just flat out immoral.

My purpose has been defined in my posts.

Also, this information that I posted is entirely accurate based on back's own posts. So, are there any stoes in there FH? Or is it just a concise and accurate accounting of the facts?

beautiful to the point that men flock to her.

psychologically so together that 2 psychologists can't imagine why she would be there(even though she is contemplating sleeping with her married ex H).

Dating while she is spiritually married (in her head).

Calling people a slang term for male genitals.

Attacking other posters because of their marital status.

A pastor that supports her decision to commit adultery.

deleted a bunch of her early posts.

won't answer questions about her divorce.

won't explain why she felt it okay to call others vile names but lashes out when she gets called to the carpet.


It is Godly to abhor that which is evil.

Now...a question for you...since you have been one of the people on here that have advocated supporting what others would call affair marriages...do you not feel conflicted in a situation such as this?

FH...just so that you are aware...I am not really concerned when you feel I am on a mission or not. I do not design my posts around what you would feel is acceptable or not. We clearly see things very differently in most situations. I am very comfortable with my view and response and see no need to change.

Catholicism does not recognize the power of a civil judge to break the bonds of a sacramental marriage.

Remarriage after divorce is considered adultry.

Does that make me immoral and crazy too?

Shouting down a poster because her beliefs are not due consideration (in *your* judgement) is not helpful to anyone. Do you consider the damage you might be heaping onto another person with this approach?

I'll ask the question again - who put you in charge around here - that you are the arbiter of what is moral and what should be allowed to be discussed?

BR....I do NOT answer to you....I was raised and married in the Catholic Church BR. Remarriage after divorce in the RCC is considered adultery unless of course you have enough money to pay for the annulment...you know like a Kennedy.

This can be discussed...just like my views can be discussed. So, who put you in charge BR?

Again, if you have a problem with my posts, I suggest you contact a moderator.

BTW...it was the priest that married me that finally suggested I get divorced (the same priest that has since been locked up for child sexual assault)...recognizing the futility in further attempts to save my marriage....and then of course, they ask for their $900 for annulment fees. Very cute....I must have missed that verse in the Bible.


I like this explanation of my thinking on things...

2. Choosing Against Evil and for Good Is Not Enough; Inner Intensity Is Required
Notice Paul’s verbs: “Abhor (apostungountes) what is evil; hold fast (kollömenoi) to what is good.” He did not say “Choose against evil and choose good.” His words are very strong. “Abhor” is a good translation. “Loathe,: “Be disgusted with” (Liddell and Scott Lexicon) would also be correct. “Hold fast to what is good” means embrace it. Love it. The word is used for sexual union in 1 Corinthians 6:16.

In other words, God is not mainly interested in a willpower religion or a willpower morality. Choosing is not enough. It doesn’t signal deep moral transformation. Remember the meaning of hypocrisy—changing the outside with willpower choices. Now Paul says, Don’t just avoid evil, hate evil. Don’t just choose good, embrace the good. Love the good. The battle of Christian living is a battle mainly to get our emotions changed, not just our behavior

and I am not able to shout down another poster BR. They are free to post what they want. Shouting down would imply that I am preventing them from posting. Only the mods have the power to do that. So if you think you will shout me down...you are wrong. YOU don't control my keyboard.

Back:

Listening to Star, whom I highly respect, I am apologizing for using the word HO in my initial post and will remove the wording.

Again I say, though, that your XH would be treating you that way..not that you really are one or would be acting like one...

If you want OUR HELP, there are folks here you will listen.

This actually goes a long way in helping me to understand your perspective and the way you approach certain posters or situations. Thank you for posting that.

Divorce isn't the problem, its the remarriage....the point is not to argue the Catholic church's position here...

I am making the point that there are millions of people out there in the world that subscribe to a legitimate religion - whether or not you agree with the position. They are not "immoral" or "evil". They subscribe to a different value system than your own.

From back's point of view, she is not 'immoral". Calling her names doesn't help. How about we discuss why having sex with her husband while married to someone else is a bad idea.

Now might be a good time to talk about stds among other things...

mimi, you caved. I am disappointed...not that it matters.

If you were to edit anything at all, in all sincerity it should be the Santa joke. That (to me) showed your true colours.

Back to the RO question. Is this why you want to hang out in a "public place" so as to dodge any insinuation of baiting?

Hi Mimi,

Thank you and God bless you. As for your use of that word, I forgive you.

It's forgiven and forgotten. I'll not hold it against you.

And if you have true help to give, it will be received with gratitude. I'm way too vulnerable right now in just opening my heart to even just be available to reconciliation, to withstand very pointed and harsh derogatory names at all connected to me.

You were much less pointed and direct than that emc or whatever individual... but he did so much damage... I haven't experienced pain like that in years.

God bless

I'd appreciate editing of that also. Personally, however, I did think she kinda just lost her composure... plus she prefaced the remark with a sorry as if knowing, somehow, that it could be hurtful.

I think mimi's true colors have shown in Christian apology.

God bless

touché

Hi ba109...

It's very easy to judge people. Where you stand (position) and what you see (perspective) determines what one perceives (scope of vision).

The judgments that result are not able to take into account the unknown.

There are many things you don't know and can't see. So, if you would be patient, nonjudgmental and listen, your perspective may change as your scope of vision is enlarged.

I don't know, really, that I feel very safe in saying more at this time.

One day at a time.

My ex and I both have panic attacks, imo, in relation to one another... and have both been in limited withdrawal from quite some time.

At one level, I have been in greater withdrawal.

At the grocery store, before he married the OW, I walked in while he was walking to the checkout. He stopped and tried to get eye contact with me.

My range of motion was so limited, I stopped in my tracks without (this is pitiful) strength to even hold my composure... so I stopped... looked down... took off my gloves (hoping to be able to pull myself together)... experiencing a wave of pain I cannot describe... put them in my purse... feeling more composed looked up... just as "lost it" (feeling shunned and rejected... he can't handle my rejection)... and was just looking away with tears coming to his eyes.

I don't try to be mean to him. I just can't handle it.

I just walked on.

There are reasons why I want to sit in MccyD's, establish my own zone of comfort there, and not reflexively appear to shun him.

We're 2 people who try not to break down... and regain composure... and miss each other in passing.

There's no "reasonable" explanation for our behavior. We have feelings, we're human, and we don't do what we - in our hearts of hearts - want to do.

Reconcile.

God bless

Questions are not judgements. They are asked in an effort to establish my POV.

BA:

Point well taken..

The Santa joke was in bad taste, too...will edit..THANKS...

Shows...I'm HUMAN..but I continue to strive to do the RIGHT THING...

Need to get back to trying to help people here...if I can..

oh please!!!!!

back,

I can completely understand your drive and desire to win your husband back, but I urge you to do this in a ethical way that honors yourself and your God. I think there IS some religious basis for the notion that his new marriage is not a legitimate marriage....however, you asked for some scriptual responses about why it's not okay to seduce your exH wile he is in this sham of a marriage.

I am not a biblical scholar, but I am a Christian and even I can quote Luke 6:31 "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Here's a link to all the translations: http://scripturetext.com/luke/6-31.htm

In none of them does it say "Do unto others as they DID to you." You are charged to hold yourself at the highest standard....a standard that you would desire in people's treatment OF you. I can understand why it doesn't feel wrong to tempt your ex, and I don't have an issue with you not recognizing his current marriage. Having said that....I still think that if it's God's will is that you two get back together....God needs to orchestrate it. I hope you will pray for a better directive than the one you have in mind right now because I think it's physically, emotionally and spiritually risky. It's a temporary fix....and what you need is a permanent one. If he can have sex with you before divorcing his current wife....why divorce her? Don't give him an opportunity to have it both ways. What goes around, generally comes around. This affair marriage will most certainly fall apart....when it does....if you want to actively pursue your husband, you can ethically do that. If you want to bump into him no and again....okay....but the most important thing you can do is to show God your patience and the purity of your heart. Don't give away your body until your husband can demonstrate the same.

Blessings to you.

there's your name: mk...

I have you on block. I'll let others tell me if they believe it is "safe" to take you off.

What is in the past is neither here nor there.

This is a life principle that always comes to me.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (King James Version)

31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.


We are all human. We are all people. We are all the same.

At a certain level... we're all the same person: One body.

It makes no sense to harm ourselves... which is all we do when we harm another.

Loving others as we love ourselves and doing unto others as we would have others do unto us is not only noble... it's wisdom.

That's all we are doing at a certain level as we love others: loving ourselves.

Abuse of others... is abuse of one's self.

It is better to be tenderhearted... and keep striving to do the right thing.

The only alternative is to be hard of heart... lacking compassion, mercy, and love.

Thanks, again, mimi.

Noble... and wise.

Perhaps some will learn from your example. That is truly one of the most powerful forms of teaching.

And, whenever I think of my ex, I think of the above scripture (when the fog clears... which sometimes I'm not thinking right... )...

Whenever I hurt him... I hurt myself.

A lot of my pain, is self-inflicted.

Goal #1... stop hurting the ex.

lol