I'm going to find FH's thread. For me personally, a discussion of scripture would be more helpful at this time.

I feel myself losing strength for a discussion of my personal situation.

Faith without works is dead. I know what I believe, in whom I have believed,... and, really, only the walking out of a Plan A is pertinent at this time... and will, hopefully strengthen me.

Here's the Westminster Confession applicable points:

V. Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, gives just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract.[11] In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce and, after the divorce,[12] to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.[13]

VI. Although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments unduly to put asunder those whom God has joined together in marriage: yet, nothing but adultery, or such wilful desertion as can no way be remedied by the Church, or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage:[14] wherein, a public and orderly course of proceeding is to be observed; and the persons concerned in it not left to their own wills, and discretion, in their own case.[15]



My thoughts? Perhaps the Lord knows which situations in which a person will never repent (He is all-knowing)... and does not release such persons when He knows that repentance is forthcoming. (Ie. He does not release BS's who WS's will eventually repent.)

This is why I believe there is a difference between believers and unbelievers as WS's.

Unbelievers do not have the Holy Spirit. They do not have the same ongoing internal ability present in the Holy Spirit TO repent.

So if they are willful and disobedient and unrepentant... a believer is not bound in such cases, perhaps. That person IS as good as dead (being dead in sins and trespasses anyway) biblically.

Therefore, I do believe the Westminster Confession (myself) IS applicable scripturally to a situation in which the WS is an unbeliever and there is no possibility for repentance.

(Cases such as some have cited here on the board... why they would be released from the Lord... instructed to divorce... and free to remarry, imo. For whatever my opinion is worth... it's their life not mine and it's God, not me, they will answer to anyway.)

Relative to believers where God has truly instituted a marriage bond of covenant between 2 believers... there I really don't believe the Westminster Confession states a universal truth that truly coincides with the whole of scripture - or the whole counsel of God.

Can I speak to all cases universally? Well, I can't see how these things would differ or vary as far as how God works by His Spirit between 2 believers. However, neither do I claim to know everything, either. So what I believe, I'll apply to my life in my own walk with the Lord. But to speak beyond that... if I'm wrong for myself - that's my right and responsibility. I'm not so sure my personal authority exists beyond those boundaries of my own application to my own life. I can speak what I believe to others...

but, and I'd like all to consider, what a person believes (even if they think they are right)....

does not denote a "right" to judge others thereby.

Off to FH's thread... no sense exercising myself beyond my strength or ability today in discussion of my personal business. I'd rather study the Word generally further in FH's thread I think. Plus, I haven't even gone to MccyD's yet. Sufficient to the day is the trouble thereof. Tomorrow, perhaps, we can talk about what happens then (when it's today)

Thanks...

God bless,

Back - consider this, this position appears to be diametrically opposed to what Scripture teaches concerning the husband's role in a marriage.

This could be the basis of much of the confusion you are facing.

Something to consider along this line, Back. Jesus was speaking to the Pharisees concerning divorce and the Jews were "God's chosen people." The implications of what He said were not lost on His disciples either, as they were directed to God's people, not to Gentile unbelievers (though they apply with equal strength to Gentile believers).

This is really more for others here than Back, as I suspect that she already knows on some level, though she likely rejects the notion as is common...

From dictionary.com...(certainly there are comprehensive resources for Bipolar Disorder out there, but I feel this short definition most easily describes what we are likely looking at here...)


Back, I pray that you will get and accept the professional help that I believe you so desperately need...

Mrs. W

Morning Back,

I've read everything you've posted. I think you should not rely on the MB Forum for support with your situation. IMO, yours requires only professional intervention.

I think you should continue seeing your Psychologist or Psychiatrist. Or, perhaps setup a phone counseling session with the Harley's. They are the professionals, not us.

Jo

Back, I think you need to be "careful" with this sort of definitive statement because of two main points;

1. ONLY God knows who truly is and is not saved, there are many who "think" they are but who will be told at the last day, "Away from me you evildoers, I NEVER knew you.",

2. The Scripture is very clear that there many who practice certain sins who WILL NOT be in heaven. From my vantage point (believing in the Doctrine of Eternal Security), it is clear from that portion of Scripture that UNREPENTANT sinners will not be in heaven because they were never truly saved. Hence, too, the admonition contained in the Parable of Soils.

God bless.

Thanks Jerry...I appreciate you understanding me. Not only is her plan found no where in scripture...but common sense would dictate that there is not a mental health professional or priest out there that would buy into her plan as a good idea. Not a single one. The fact that she is saying that THREE learned people have all signed on speaks volumes about the veracity of this story.

I will tell you that I for one still long for a day when all of the children of Christ are in fact unified as one.

I hope you are well my friend.

I'm sorry back, but i did not see an answer to this Q.
Did you seduce your h into M you? Or did you let your love for each other blossom into something wonderful and wholesum?

If the answer to the above is yes, than why would you feel that the only way to win him back would be to seduce him through the weakness of his flesh? Is that how you began your M? If so, there is nothing more to say, is there?


All Blessings,
Jerry

I agree that back needs some professional help.Her postings are not much more than ramblings it seems.

I posted to her on Divorced/Dating that I thought she might need to call someone to help her through this difficult time. It just seems so sad to only have an anonymous board to "talk" to.

I originally thought she was maybe a troll, but I am beginning to think she is a lost soul that might have had a psychotic break.

Please keep encouraging her to seek help IRL.

jmho
committed

There's a LOCAL HELP link on this website, BACK. (Top right hand corner). See if there is a MB's Counselor in your area who can help you with your plan.

I do not think she needs a MB coach...I think a psychiatrist and not psychologist is most definitely in order here.

Some of those on that link are psychologists who understand the MBer's Principles. That's why I made that suggestion. A psychologist will refer her to a psychiatrist if necessary.

Oh, I understand Mimi and I think the idea is good...but I don't think her situation can be helped by MB...I think she needs a medical doctor that can help her in ways that a psychologist cannot...namely meds.
I am still not convinced her story is close to the truth...but if it is, there is going to be a need for a lot more than talk therapy.

BACK:

If you are reading, go talk to SOMEBODY ELSE face to face...to help you evaluate your situation.

Many of us, including ME, were on meds and saw a therapist while dealing with our spouse's INFIDELITY.

Back -

I think you should pay attention to what LousyGolfer posted:

"Since she is Divorced, what methods are available to her?

1. She can Plan B him, and go to darkness.

Under this plan, she shouldn't even TRY to be seen by her ExH. No hanging at McD's, or a coffee shop WHERE he might show up. No communications, except thru the designated intermediary, and modify her routines to make sure that her path never crosses ExH's. Deliver a proper Plan B letter. Describing her Love for ExH, how the Divorce was not wanted by her, and even inspite of the divorce, her religous convictions as such tell her that she is still married to him. But she needs to only coorespond via an intermediary, so that she will not tamper further in his marriage, nor cause unnecessary conflict in his existing marriage.

2. She can do a Plan A type thing, that I will call Plan Back.

Under this Plan Back, because she CANNOT do a proper PLAN A, She talks to ExH. Remains pleasant with him, and makes him aware that she is still attracted to ExH. Keeps in place proper boundaries. And sees what happens. Seems an awful lot like an EA to me. Very dangerous. Both to Back, and to ExH. To Back, as SHE is setting her self up for a lifetime of waiting, possibly. To ExH, because we already know the type of character he has, that he will continue to string Back along, maybe even manipulating her into a PA. Because? He can.

3. Just wait for ExH to return.

Live her life. Be happy. Be unconcerned with what ExH does. Continues in her personal and spiritul growth. If she runs into him, so be it, be polite. Then goes on her way. If his affair marriage falls apart, and he divorces again, he can contact Back and see what might happen. But Back is LIVING her own life. Back may end up never having another relationship with a man, that's ok. That's HER choice. Doing this, SHE has chosen NOT to interfere in her ExH's marriage, and lives a cleaner, more moral life. What happens in the future, is in the future. SHe works on HERSELF, and if ExH returns, so be it.

And Back:

Everytime you see your ExH, you WILL feel the way you do. Until your day of passing. If I had gotten divorced, every time I would have seen my Ex, I would have realized that I settled for second best. He may feel the some way. But that is a CHOICE he made. Until HE decides to fix that choice, your options are limited. And the Plan Back option listed above? Will destroy your OWN self-esteem. And raise your ExH sense of entitlement.

It's not YOU, Back. It's ExH. Until he makes the choice, there really isn't much that you can do."

shinethrough...

you asked for a biblical example.

Here's one. David's wife was taken from him and married to another man without David's consent.

When the time was right, David took her back... still referring to her as "my wife".

She was married to another man at the time.

God never reprimanded David for this... as God did reprimand David for taking Bathsheba... another man's wife. David had Uriah killed... and was confronted by Nathan the prophet.

David was never confronted for taking back Michal. I believe it was his right.

1 Samuel 25:43-44 (New International Version)

43 David had also married Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both were his wives. 44 But Saul had given his daughter Michal, David's wife, to Paltiel [a] son of Laish, who was from Gallim.


2 Samuel 3:13-15 (King James Version)

13And he said, Well; I will make a league with thee: but one thing I require of thee, that is, Thou shalt not see my face, except thou first bring Michal Saul's daughter, when thou comest to see my face.

14And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul's son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.

15And Ishbosheth sent, and took her from her husband, even from Phaltiel the son of Laish.

I feel strength coming into me... that's not my own. I believe it's the Lord. (sigh of relief).

All I need is inner strength. There's no other matter in my life where I collapse and fall into pain. And I feel strength pouring into me.

God is sovereign.

God bless.

I do not think that the Biblical example of David is one that will make your case stronger.

It was during the Old Testament which we do not live under now. We live under the New Testament...and Grace.

If you use Old Testament as a compass, let's examine what would happen if we used the story of Abraham and Issac as fodder for infanticide.

Just because Abraham was told by God to sacrifice his son, Isaac, does that mean it is ok for people to sacrifice their children if they happen to be "told by God" to do it?

No...that's when the Police and the men with the white jackets show up.

You cannot look to the Bible (especially the Old Testament) to make cause for BAD BEHAVIOR.

Murder is a sin just like adultery is a sin....period.

JMHO
committed

Committed...excellent point.

After reading over a few of Back's threads...I honestly believe we are dealing with one of two things here...both of which cannot be helped by the MB forum or even the Harley's.

Either this story is completely made up...which is how I lean based on what I see as easy to identify lies in her threads. Or this person is so mentally unstable that inpatient care would be the most likely course of treatment.

Back,

Your example of David's life could just as easily be used to justify your husband having more than one wife or even the taking of another man's wife by negotiation.

Very bad exegesis, IMO.

Mark