I have posted my story before. My H and I were dating for 5 years before we got married. We were almost married a year, then he said he wanted out and ran back home to his mama. He cheated on me with his XGF. I went to meet him and ask him some things, and he said he was sorry, confessed to at least one other affair, and then things seemed like we'd work on them. Then he cheated on me again, while we were separated. He then asked me if he could have another chance when the OW dumped him. Within a week, he changed his mind, saying it didn't feel right. Now he is with another OW and he wants a D... again. I feel like I'm being led on a string. One second he wants out the next he doesn't. He won't talk to me or have anything to do with me now, since I found out about the OW. We live in two different states at the moment, and I don't know what to do. I am moving closer to him, but about five hours away, in about six months, to be closer to him and to be with family- starting over in a sense. But I don't know what to do. I want to work on my marriage. I don't beleive in D and he knows that. But he doesn't want anything to do with marriage anymore. He'd rather be single and go out looking for other relationships because he is cowardly and a quitter (he told me that, I'm just repeating his words). I want to hold on to my marriage and wait things out. I've been praying and going to counseling, but everyone I have spoken to told me to let him go. God will make him fall on his rear. After all, he is relishing in worldly sin. I really don't want to let him go, but I am being backed into a corner. I feel like I'm second best and I'm being played for a fool. Also, I feel as though I married a stranger. I mean, I love my H with all my heart, but the things he does to hurt me are not part of the man I married.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to serve him the papers. I was going to wait until he served me, but sometimes the pain and hurt are so overwhelming, even after six months of separation, to where I feel like I am just wasting my life away.
If you have any advice or comment, please share. Thanks!
