About six weeks ago, I told my boyfriend that I had cheated on him for about a six week period early on in our relationship. He was very angry, and actually became fairly abusive. I went off to find myself for about a month and have since started some intensive therapy. He has also been in therpay for about a month. We are now in the same city and have expressed a desire to be together. But there is still so much anger between us - I feel as if he will not ever be able to truly forgive and will want to punish me for what I did. I know that I have significant issues (family, possible sexual abuse, emotionally abusive father, etc.) to work on and want to have him in my life -- but am afraid his anger will continue to bubble over and hurt me. Is there any hope for us? If we acknowledge the anger within us and how it plays out between us, can we ever be healthy together? Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

They say it's hard to be happy with someone if you are not happy with yourself.<P>I would suggest working on yourself first and if there is any time left, then possibly worry about him.<P>My opinion.

I agree with Paul. I think you need to take time for yourself and work on what you really need right now. I also think he needs to continue in therapy and work on himself. My belief is that if it was meant to be, it will happen...when the time is right. I does not sound as if the time is right. Both of you still have much healing to do.<P>Good luck!

Can't really add anything more than the advice you've been given here....<P>Keep with the counseling, get yourself healing - let him do the same...there is a lot of work that you both must do for yourselves before even thinking about dealing with each other.<P>If you don't handle things correctly now by giving all your concentration to what you must do for you......then it will always be there and pop up to mess things up in the future.<P>One step at a time.....you first for you!! Him first for him!!!<P>THEN - start thinking about each other together....If it's meant to be - it will!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Thank you for your advice - In fact, last night I realized that we are both playing out our unmet needs and that we can't meet each other's need right now because we still don't fundamentally trust each other. And are trying to protect ourselves from getting hurt. And probably need to figure out how to meet our needs ourselves to a certain extent. I'm not sure how will we move forward - but I know we can't be together now and that the work has really just begun. Thanks again...<P>annenyc