I remember reading the warnings about the holidays before. Last Christmas WH spent Christmas with our family. Then the week after we went on a trip. We had a great time. This was before I knew that I should have let him sit alone. I thought it was a chance to see how special his family was. Anyway, this year is different. Thanksgiving he was not invited and he won't be for Christmas either. The kids told me they wanted to be home for Christmas morning. WH will not be there no matter what.

Love that movie!!! I don't think my WH is thinking of not being a wayward right now. He seems to have become more fogged out since he moved out the second time!!!!

Anybody got any great ideas for helping kids enjoy the holidays without their dad around? We may not be able to travel to family, and I know they'll be really missing their dad, but I don't have much energy to pull something fantastic together - or to do our past traditions. Any great new ideas? Simple, but fun?

I don't have any great ideas. Just be there for them. Let them feel secure. How old are your kids? If you can muster up enough energy try some of your past traditions. My kids and I put up our lights, picked out our Christmas tree and decorated it just like every year. We talked about the ornaments and who gave them to us, or where we got them. I think it is important to continue past traditions as well as creating some new ones.

It has been really hard for me.....I don't want to go to the stores because all I see are Christmas decorations. I know I have to get past this but it is really hard. We are going to have our DS half days on Christas Eve and Christmas Day. This is going to be our first Christmas for my DS who is 11 months and without my WH. Its even harder for the simple fact that he will be enjoying Christmas with OW and her daughter----since he now has a new family to replace our DS and I.

I totally agree StarFish!:
"Only "spouses" get to come home for the holidays. Waywards have to stay out in the cold and look through the window like the "Little Matchstick Girl". Make sure what they see....is warm and lovely without them."

Phoenix4:
My new decorating idea I'm trying this year: We're going to make 'paper chains' for the Christmas tree from wired ribbon instead of paper. Hopefully then they will last from year to year. I'm not sure if I'm going to try to staple the loops closed, or glue gun, or just twist the wires... hmmm... a chain of connected ribbon bows (instead of loops) might look nice - I'l have to try that out too.

A tradition our family does every Christmas Eve is a gift grab bag. It's just a lot of little stocking stuffer type things wrapped and numbered. Then you draw slips of paper with the numbers on them to see which gifts you get. We open the gifts one by one as the numbers are called so eveyrone sees what everyone else got (so they know what they want to try to trade for later).

When my daughters were younger we sometimes made gingerbread houses a simple and quick way by just using graham crackers for the walls and ceiling. We used icing to glue the graham crackers together and to stick the candies on.

Bumping up...

Calibabeus:

Do you have relatives living nearby that you can spend a LOT of time with this holiday season? Or do you have some goo dfriends that you can invite to do some of the holiday activities with you?

I remember feeling like you are now, sort of not wanting to see any holiday stuff in the stores because it was just a reminder that I would not be spending Christmas with my WH.
Doing all the usual holiday traditions was hard but I did them for my kids. (OF course my kids were older so skipping the festivities wasn't really an option with me...) Make a little list of YOUR favorite holiday traditions and make sure to do some of them even if you don't feel like it.

Oh, and PAMPER youself!

Cali-

I felt the same way you do. This will be our first Christmas in Plan B. Last Christmas WH spent it with the family, even took a trip the week after Christmas. I decorated the outside of the house, bought a tree, decorated it, plan on making goodies to eat. It was all a bit hard at the time but now I'm really glad I did it. It shows WH that I'm not sitting around moping over him. You should have seen the look on his face when all the outside lights were on. Everytime he drives up to get the kids he sees our beatiful house but can't come in. Most important though..it makes me feel good. I light a fire in the evening, watch Christmas movies with the kids. And something about the season does bring a sense of peace and I feel that every time I see my tree. So...if you can can do even a little I think you would end up feeling much better. Hang in there.

I totally agree StarFish!:
"Only "spouses" get to come home for the holidays. Waywards have to stay out in the cold and look through the window like the "Little Matchstick Girl". Make sure what they see....is warm and lovely without them."

Ani's got the right idea! When the WS comes by to pick up the kids for visitation, Cali, what will he see? Hopefully he will see that you are enjoying your son's first Chhristmas without him? Or will he think that you've placed your life on hold so he can take his time deciding if/when he will come back home?