We have been seeing each other off and on for about 7 months. I am 26 years old, she is 32. She is on birth control, but we don't use a condom because we use the "pull out method." I feel at times that she forgets to take the "pill" to in fact get pregnant, have a legit reason to leave her husband, and qualify for child support. She REFUSES to let me use a condom when we have sex, which myself and my friends around me find rather strange. This only further backs up my theory of her wanting to get pregnant. She has told me that there is NO way she would have my child if she got pregnant, but i don't know if I can trust her. Afterall, she is lying to her husband...


Also, she broke down a few months ago and told her husband that she had a boyfriend. We continue to see each other, even though we both know he would more than likely KILL me if he caught us in the act.

I need some advice here folks...does it sound like she may be, in fact, trying to get pregnant? Please, i am very lost..

Thanks in advance..and yes, I do feel a little guilty <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

golfer26 - You ARE kidding, aren't you?

Must make you feel really good to know you are such a "stud" that you can service the wife of some other man.

Can't wait for the day another man does that to you.

Grow up son.

Or is it simply that the "rules" don't apply to you and you can do whatever you feel like doing?

Don't trust her?

One more time, you have to be kidding, right?

She has NO respect for the sanctity of marriage or respect for her own VOWS of fidelity and exclusivity in marriage and you THINK she can be trusted?

You think it's okay to "do" someone who belongs to someone else that you have no right to touch no matter how much you want to.

I suppose, though, that you play golf the same way. The rules don't apply to you, just to everyone else, besides, who will know if you cheat the rules just so long as you get the "score" you want?

26 years old and no brains yet. 26 years old and stunted morals that "allow" you to do whatever you want to do regardless of the rules and regardless of who gets hurt.

If you really want some advice, which it does NOT sound like from your self-centered post, I'll give you some.

End the affair right now, TODAY. You are wrong on every level and nothing you can say can make your CHOSEN actions "right." LEAVE this affair now and think about your values and WHY they might be important.

But I doubt you'll listen. That's because YOU are the "Other Man." Studly guy and all. Single and can do whatever you want to do. You're "in looooooove." Right.

Evil is more like it. If she gets pregnant she won't keep the child? Gee, let's add abortion to your "birth control" methods.

When you want to get serious about what to do, you will find plenty of help on this system. But as long as you want to be the "Other Man" and get your rocks off WITHOUT the responsibilities that come with marriage, no one is going to help you to find "better ways" to commit Adultery and hurt her husband and everyone connected to their FAMILY.

Now go and do the right thing and then come back for some education and advice to prepare yourself for when YOU might choose to get married.

I see FH has addressed everything else in his response, so I'll address this. My FWW and her OM did not use condoms either, and she was on BC pills. They chose to do so because, in her words, "it felt better".

Apparently the thought of catching an STD by having unprotected sex with someone else never crossed her mind.

Walk away from that situation, "golfer26". It's only going to end up with everyone being hurt, including yourself.

G26:

Careful with that "Golfer" stuff, I have a reputation around here.

For whatever reason, you decided to come to MB today.

Mainly, I'm sure, you KNOW your doing something wrong.

But hey, it feels good, and getting something is better than getting nothing, right?

But you are still doing something wrong.

Stop doing what you are doing.

And yes, it will be difficult. Whatever happens the to OW, happens. She's an adult, and she made a bad choice to sleep with you.

If she ends up getting divorced, or lives happily ever after, it's out of your hands.

You need to stop contacting, responding or communicating with her in any manner.

It's the RIGHT thing to do.

And you will find out, that there are other, single women out there who are available to you, but because you are wrapped up in this affair, you have'nt quite SEEN them yet.

LG

Why is anyone even responding ***********EDIT****

****************EDIT***********

Do you understand that this is a forum for people who are suffering because of the acts that you are pursuing an extramarital relationship? Do you have ANY idea how painful something like this is for the person who is being betrayed? Shame on you. Find a single woman. Leave this woman alone. Spare her husband from the pain of an adulterous affair.

Thanks for all the responses everyone! For the record, I am not an internet troll. I have been seraching the internet for an appropriate forum to open up to. If I have offended anyone, please, accept my appology in advance. I do feel bad for what I have started, but I can assure you itis more than just physical attraction for both of us.

No, you are boinking a married woman. I have doubts that the two of you actually cuddle up together for a night of sweet dreams.

You are absolutely, 100% wrong! We do, in fact, cuddle and snuggle before and after we have sex. We talk on the phone everyday, as well as text message and instant messenger. Hour at a time in some instances. This isn't just a have sex and go home relationship...

How many other boy toys has she had sex with? Check your shorts dude. You are probably a walking STD.

I trust her, for some odd reason, that I am her first affair. They have only been married for roughly 2 years, and HAVE NOT HAD SEX IN ONE AND A HALF YEARS! To further support my theory, I have had her call her husband on a 3-way call to confirm the last time they had sex. My friends, who DO NOT SUPPORT ME, and think I am STUPID, do not believe that a married woman can NOT have sex with her husband, especially with him begging her and knowing they sleep next to each other every night.

When her and I met, casually at a club with mutual friends, one of the first things to she told me is that she is in an unhappy, PLATANOIC, marriage. I did not expect it to esicalte into something like this. I could go on all day about the doubts I have with her. For example, why does her husband have a box of condoms in his drawer if they aren't having sex? Also, I have caught her up in lies with regard to her sex life with him. Too many things to trust her 100%.

Lastly, I posted here with the intentions of recieving feedback and bashing from those unfortuanate enough to have gone though this. I am hoping that I can moveon and find a legit girlfriend. The problem is, though, I do really like this woman. She has talked about leaving her husband for me, which is NOT something I support. Once a chater, always a cheater, I guess.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

*************EDIT**************

Why are you hoping that you can move on and find a legit girlfriend? Are you incapable of making up your mind and acting on that decision?

Did you really come here because you need someone to tell you that adultery is an outcome of cowardice and weakness? That a woman who runs from her problems with her husband will run from her problems with you? Come on. Thats just common sense. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem so common.

You need to ask yourself what type of man you want to be. Are you the kind of man who will share his woman with another man? Thats what you are doing now, except she is not even your woman.

Do you want to be the kind of man whose woman looks at him with pride and admiration? That kind of man doesn't commit adultery.

The thing is, I am starting to realize this isn't going anywhere...on the other hand, she sees me and being a good reason for getting divorced..sheis ONLY with her husband because she needs him finacially.. she doesn't work, and he wouldn't give her any money if they got divorced..

Are you for real?

Of course its not going anywhere, she's MARRIED. And if she gets divorced, she'll be a broke, adulterous divorcee. Great catch there man. Now hurry, knock her up so you can pay child support to her and the next guy!

Don't you realize what a **************edit*********a married woman? You've got it backwards. Your mistress is having an affair, so she doesn't have to work on her marriage, not because her marriage is bad. She is lazy and doesn't want to work to get her needs met and meet her husband's needs. If you end it with you not only would you be doing the right thing, but she would be forced to work it out with her husband.

On a side note, most of us here are married, had our spouses cheat on us, and reconciled. Most of our spouses are glad that we stuck with them when they were unlovable and regret what they did. We also had to go through the he11 of an ongoing affair. Be a man, do the right thing, and cut off all contact with this woman.

Unbelieveable..Here in this forum-Marriage BUILDERS-comes this morally corrupt individual and describes his reprehensible conduct with another's wife and wants ADVICE concerning whether or not she is trying to become pregnant.Then he tells us the adultrous woman would NOT have his child under any circumstances which one can only assume means murdering the unborn child-his child as well. And he says the husband would probably kill him were he to be caught with her.Yet, neither one of these possibilities gives him any apparent pause. All he wants to know is does it sound like she is trying to become pregnant.
I first read his post this morning and here it is almost twelve hours later and my feelings haven't changed in the least. When he says he is very lost, he doesn't know just how lost he is.

Golfer26,

You are a smart young man. You came to a marriage and infidelity discussion board, looking for advice on HOW to deal with ENDING an all-around destructive situation.

Would you like the people here to help you with useful advice on ENDING this affair?

Because I do truly believe that you are smart enough to realize that this "relationship" has no benefits for you at all, and that is why you are here. You have already told all of us so. I don’t think you really need to be bashed for that, because you seem to already recognize it.

How can we help you end this problem, that you already seem to really want to be OUT of?

Would you like help writing this woman a "no contact" letter? There are some real experts here who can help you do that, so you can surgically remove her from your life.

I agree with the above poster, that although your approach to this seems really F'ed up, you are here because you know you need to end this relationship. What more do you need to convince you than your own words above?

She is backstabbing the person she is 100% dependent on. You cannot possibly believe she would ever make a trustworthy mate. If she runs into your arms to avoid putting effort into her marriage, she will run to another man's arms to avoid putting effort into a relationship with you. People with no impetus to change, DONT CHANGE. Thats why something like 80% of all relationships that start as affairs don't last.

The people we choose to spend our time and energy on are a direct reflection of our own sense of self-worth. Why are you willing to accept so little for yourself, in the form of this woman? She is deceitful and manipulative, weak, of reprehensible character, and money-grubbing.

The rub is, that you are an equal partner in this, and that means you currently don't deserve any better than that. People can change though, and if you want to be worthy of a strong, honest, loving, and devoted woman, it starts with the decision to change yourself and earn that status.

The first step to becoming that man is to end this farce, not because you can't handle the stress or guilt, but because it is WRONG to ****** with another man's family. The second step will be to notify this man about his treacherous wife and tell him that you will never contact her again, but that you WILL answer any questions that HE has truthfully.

He'll be pissed as ******, but its your best chance to regain some of your integrity and avoid a serious [censored] whooping, however well-deserved it may be.

So you don't support her leaving her husband then WHY are you in this relationship. You know she lies, cheats and can not be trusted. You know there is a great chance she may get pregnant and then you may have another person innocently added to this mess.

Have you ever watched the show cheaters? Picture you and your lover in a car 1/2 naked and a bunch of cameras and her husband suddenly in your face. THAT is just a glimps of what you will feel when he finds out. As others have posted here before, and Affair is really ugly when it is brought out into the light.

Golfer,

Take a moment to mentally remove yourself and your situation in order to answer the next questions honestly.

If you were married, and your wife was cheating, would you want to know?

After you found out your W is involved in a PA/EA (physical/emotional affair), you decide to fight for the M (marriage), do you think the M would stand a better chance of recovery "IF" the OM (other man) was no longer in the picture in any way?

What you have done is wrong. What she has done is worse... Your not M, but aware she is.

It's time to calibrate your moral compass.

Ugh, I was involved with a kid like you. It was like being addicted to crack. He told all his friends he wanted to get me pregnant so he would be set for life. Please leave this poor woman alone, let her work out her own nonsense without you in her face confusing things more.

You can contact her husband if you want, but don't be surprised if the husband laughs at you. Little kids (sorry, but that's how her peer group will view you) schtupping older married women tend to make mature people laugh at both people involved.

You're making a fool of yourself, she's making a fool of you. RUN!

Maggy, Do you honestly find your post to be sound advice?


Poor Woman, pleease... Do you mean the older supposed more mature MARRIED woman?... Someone sounds foggy here, and it's not "the kid".

I'll add, please read who is taking steps to become pregnant.


The only noteworthy advice here is in the last word... RUN! You've made a mistake, and obviously recognize that fact. She has made a bigger mistake. There are no age or maturity excuses for what has occured.

-JKT

I'm not saying age or maturity are excuses, I am being realistic about how others looking in on the affair will look at it. They both look like fools, and yes part of that is the age difference. I'm speaking from experience, when my OM spoke to my dear, wonderful H, my H laughed at him because he was so young. My H rightly saw the whole relationship as a farce, and the age difference WAS ludicrous.

I am calling the WS a "poor" woman because she is confused and acting pathetically. It isn't meant in sympathy or as an excuse for her actions - I was merely stating that this woman is incredibly messed up. I can say this because I have been there. I'm not in a fog NOW, but I sure as heck was. This poster is not helping matters by sleeping with her.

This young man came here looking for help. I thought my experience could be helpful. Is your motive to help this poster, or denigrate me? Don't worry - I have the latter totally covered on my own.