Maggie, I won't argue with you. Or clutter this thread with non sense.

From my perspective, you sympathize with this older woman, and that I disagree with.

She's not here for help...

-JKT

I see your point maggie. Especially since you have been there. My FWW was involved with OM that were much younger too. It strikes a nerve with me because I see these young "studs" using and preying on women such as my FWW.
Sure it was a choice, but she was messed up some. These guys know exactly what they are doing.
Just my thoughts.

She 32 "and married"... He's 26 "and single"

There both wrong, but your comments above are nothing more than an attempt to comfort yourselfs by make the single younger guy the villian here.

I am the BH of an A where the FOM was single and younger... My FWW is for obvious reason is more at fault for the A.

This womans inability to say "NO" destroys a family. The single guy only has to answer to himself when the fallout occurs.

-JKT

Actually, I hold my FWW more accountable than the OM. I can understand the OM's driving force. Get what you can. My FWW is the married one with a family with far more complications and consequences. My point is that I hope that she doesn't fall for all the garbage that the OM is feeding her just to get in her pants.
I'm done here.

Golfer,

If you are still here reading. Please take the time to read the tragic stories of pain you will find all over this board.

To you it my be as simple as a lesson learned mistake. But to us it's a life changing event the affects many.

Your simple "notch in the bed post" causes a life time of pain and suffering that effects not only a spouse, but potentially childern...

If you were to ever do this again, I can only hope there is truth to karma.

-JKT

Golfer:

Please listen to these people and move on. And before you start another relationship, recommend you take some time to read up on how to act in a real relationship.

Nothing good will come of this. Please end it before you ruin a child's life too.

It's ironice you mention that it's like being addicted to crack, cause she says I am the crack that she needs...anyways, I would NEVER contact her husband...her and I have a deal that neither of us contact him, for the sake of my safety..also, he deffinitely would not "laugh" at me, since I'm the only one that his wife puts out for..I don't think she's making a fool out of me, since we're both getting our kicks...thanks for the reply

Oh, and she has no kids...

Golfer,

I really can't tell if you're for real.

Harming others has no kicks for me. Does it really for you?

You are an adulterer...you are attacking another marriage...betraying a fellow human being.

For fantasy.

All of my OM's were like you...unattached (though not as young), couldn't get a real woman their own age...felt great because some married woman was infatuated with them...a shortcut to pretend intimacy...nowhere close to the real thing...the thing that soars your spirit as well as your mind and body.

You both have a deal to not deal with the truth of your actions. I find this hard to believe given you said you both called her BH and he verified they weren't having sex. They are having sex.

I guarantee it.

You're not real to her...you're an escape, something like crack she uses to manufacture false feelings, from the fantasy.

You're not real.

You're just doing real damage.

And you're doing it here on this board, as well. You know this...and I suspect you're doing it for more destructive kicks.

LA

Do you know what the term "irony" even means? It isn't ironic one bit. She gets just as much of a rush (not from YOU, but from the affair) and it will be just as destructive to her as crack. You would not believe the pain and turmoil I have gone through and put my husband through because of the affair. I'm sure the OM feels burned, too - but that's the consequence of sleeping with a married woman.

If you think you are getting the best of her because she is "putting out" only (not likely) for you, rest assured that you are wrong. She has a covenant with her husband that you cannot take away with sex.

In your first post, YOU mentioned contacting her husband, that's why I told you to anticipate laughter. It sounds however like you are too chicken to man up and speak to him because you are afraid for your safety. With good reason, because what you are doing is wrong in every way.

No new contact between you and this woman means no new hurt for any of you.

One question: if she loves you so much, then why didn't she tell him so and divorce him before she got together with you?

Your "kicks" have consequences that you seem completely clueless about. Wise up.

Do you realize what a horrible person you are being? How would you like it if you were married and some other guy was pounding your wife? If you aren't going to dump her, then why are you here?

Lovingaway-

Thank you very much for the reply. Unfortuanately, everything i have said is 100% accurate and truthful. I started posting on this board as a method of asking for help, because I do not want our "relationship" to go any further. Not only because it is obviously wrong, but it is ungealthy and unsafe for many reasons as well. I have no intentions of trying to harm anyone on this borad; I'm just looking for a little smack across the face to help me get back into reality. I honestly do like this woman. While she may drive be insane at times, she also has a very good heart. I agree 100% with you when you say she is infatuated with me, and it is not real love. She does, as far as I know, have a platonic relationship with her husband. In fact, she mentioned this to me LONG before we got together and weere just friends.

As far as them having sex goes. Look, I have asked her on numerous different occations and she says they haven't slept together in over a year. I made her call him 3-way call while I listened in, and she said "do you know why we haven't had sex in over a year?"....they were in a fight so it was the perfect opportunity....he pretty much acknowledged the fact that they weren't having sex. It scares me to think she is lying to me and has been for 7 months now..The fact that you GUARANTEE it really scares me, and if you could elaborate more as to why it would be easier for me to stop seeing her. once I am convicned she is sleeping with him, is the day I change my phone number. When I was at their house, I did find a box of condoms, which she said they havent used in over a year. They have been living in their new home for about a year, and she claims they have never had sex in the house. Then why are there condoms? She is also on birth control i know for a fact, which also worries me

Again, I sincerely appologize if what I have said hurts you. That is not my intention at all. i know what I am doing is wrong and that there are plenty of fish in the sea...could you please try to convince me that she is having sex with her husband as well? Thank you

maggiemaster-

Thank you very much for your reply. I'm not going to repeat what I said in my message above, cause I am assuming you read it. I would love any more further input you can give me as to why this needs to end now. As far as the sex thing goes with her husband, would you please mind elaborating as to why you think she has been lying to my face? I mean, obivuosly if she is lying to her husband, she can just as easily lie to me, which she has...but about sex? She looks at me so convincingly and says things like "I can't love 2 people." "I could never sleep with 2 people at the same time" It's like I want to believe it, but after all this time and all my friends telling me to RUN, I'm starting to trust that the people who post here god bless you all) may know what they are talking about.

As far as her leaving him, she is broke and I'm not in any financial situation to support myself, let alone both of us. She has threatened him with divorce BEFORE I came into the picture. It's rather interesting because as i sit here at 2:30 AM writing my life away to a bunch of strangers, i am 1 step closer to convincing myself that this is wrong. It is hard for me to NOT see her, as I do like her, she makes me happy, and she is good to me. I KNOW IT'S WRONG; I'm just a little lost and need some convincing. Sleeping with her husband would deffinitely be enough convincing..

Thanks so much for al the replies everyone. Gonna hit the sack and hopefully see some comments in the morning. God bless all of you and your families

golfer26

I read that you are a narcissistic fool addicted to this deluded woman's addiction to you.

You describe about the most dysfunctional R dynamic I have ever seen.

Both in an affair because you need to be addicted to. So little self-respect and differentiation that you seek reinforcing reflections in another utterly dysfunctional person.

Morality doesn't even come into it - it borders on emotional illness you are sharing and manifesting.

Delude yourself you're starring in your own movie all you want, G26, but what you're really doing is admitting you can only have a relationship with a woman if she is pathetically addicted to you, and have a clear advantage over her spouse of many years of youth.

I won't advise you anything, because I suspect your need for this woman's addiction is so pervasive you'd kill to keep it going despite your reported casual attitude to her.

I can only pray you wake up one morning and realise that it is YOUR deep dysfunction primarily that is keeping this sick R alive, not hers. It is YOU that needs her desperate addiction, not her that needs to give it.

I doubt you can handle a relationship with a woman who isn't addicted to you. Where you have to invest more than your presence and your penis.

I find it comical that you have both an expectation and belief in a married woman's fidelity and honesty to you, her extramarital lover.

I mean, it is so absolutely absurd that it just can't be done justice! Your lying, cheating, married gf is truthful and faithful to you?! I mean, its like a mobius loop of ignorance! Elegant almost, in a sick fashion! Akin to looking at gross physical deformities or something.

Carry on man, I just hope you have the balls to let us know how it works out, if her H doesn't kill you first. If he does, I hope HE finds this place and tells us about it.

Gimme his number and I'll be glad to confess for you.

I'll give you the bonus plan and taunt him for a bit.

Well, you could be right about the sex. I did not engage in it with my H while I was in the affair, because it would have made me feel like more of a sleazebag than I already was. So maybe they aren't having sex. But that still does not make her yours.

Once you both have broken your addiction (and I'm hoping you don't have to hit rock bottom to do that) you re going to look around at the destruction you have both created and feel SO SAD. I promise you, there is no happy ending here.

And her not divorcing him because of money is bogus. No-fault divorces are cheap, especially if she has no kids. If she really loved you, or heck, even respected you, she would have found a way to divorce first before getting involved with you.

Please break it off with this woman and have NO CONTACT with her for life. If not for her, not for her husband, not for any moral reason, because this is going to cause YOU great pain, and you deserve to be with someone who can completely give themselves to you.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you are not a troll. Which means you are here because you know something isn't right. Please do the right thing!

ure my hero pariah

have you had enough smacks in the face yet golfer?

The suggestions I want to make to him defiantely WILL get modded down again.

************EDIT************, he has no idea how much mortal danger he could be in.

**********EDIT*********

Lies come easily to the lips of waywards. It becomes a way of life.

You need a reason to stop this craziness, how about that the OWH will eventually find out and either kill you or soundly whoop your butt.

Could happen you know. Ever read the news? Is she worth your life?

Who