Discover day was 11/22- since then I have been trhough a rollwer coaster of events and feelings. After discover what I thought was an EA it turns out it was a PA. My husband met a 25 year old while away on business, courted her over a few days and slept with her while there. Then over the following two weeks he communicated with her via chat email and texts. I cut off the phone, pulled outt he web cam because I knew he was having late-night private chats with her.

I have followed PLan A, exposed to everyone I know who has influence yet he still is willing to risk it all for this girl. I even called her parents because apparently they met him and really like him, and they simply laughed at me, saying she's 25, she knows what she's doing? She knows she's splitting up our marriage and devastating all of us?

This week he lied and lied some more about where he was going and what he was doing. This girl lives where he goes for business and she came home to visit her parents, they hooked up and spent the night a hotel. I have the chat transcipts to prove it. It confirms everything. Thanks for those techniques!

I was having panic attacks and got some meds, he and his GF think thats funny they think I am desperate.

So now what do I do? I feel the choice is simple, her or his family. Am I missing something?

Talk to a lawyer.
Speak to his parents, family, employer (send a certified letter to the employer since he is doing this while away on business).
If you live in an area that allows for alienation of affection suits, bring one against this whorre.

How long have you been married? Kids?

Sounds like her family are real winners huh?

Read up on Plan A, Plan B, read Surviving an Affair, and His Needs Her Needs.

DO NOT PANIC..

Yes this is a terrible situation you've found yourself in. Your husband is now a Wayward Husband. You have a very narrow window of opportunity here.. acting on instinct and going into high speed wobbles isn't going to help you.

Understand right now that you cannot educate him.. you cannot convince him.. you cannot 'talk' him down. You know about the A.. you have proof.. start preparing a list of people you intend to expose to.

Exposure -will- make H mad.. your marriage can survive his anger, but it WILL NOT survive an ongoing affair. Got it? Seriously.. read that again until you do.

Read Pepper's thread that's stuck at the top of this forum, STUDY the carrot and stick of Plan A.. get your arms around the 180's.. and be sure not to do any Lovebusting.. you're a Plan A'er now.. you didn't want to be here.. but that's how it is.

Strap your boots on, and get ready to dig in for a fight if you want to save your M.

We're here to help...

Oh, and protect yourself from STD's. 25 year old bimbo...chances are high she has something!

I see you have two kids under the age of five...all the more reason to talk to a lawyer sooner rather than later. protect yourself against the monster that your H has become.

If you can afford it and you want to save your M...and no one will fault you if you don't... call the Harley's. they are pricey but can give you a blueprint to help you through this tough time.

For you...

exercise
eat right
spend quality time with your kids

Yup, really pay attention to the rules of Plan A, so many misinterpret them and either become a doormat and enable the A or push thier WS (wayward spouse) away with lovebusters. Its a very counterintuitive approach to dealing with infidelity, but it can and does work.

Read up, ask alot of questions, and try to find some peace of mind. You're an emotional wreck, we know, most of us have been there. You are going to have to learn to reign in your emotions and ACT, not react.

Sorry you're here, we're pulling for you.

I have been married 10 years, 2 kids age 5 and 3. I will speak to his employer today


Are you saying there is no hope?

not at all. But even with a plan for recovery it is important to protect yourself and know your rights. Too many BS have endured additional pain because they did not protect their finances or health.

Do you want him back?

There are no guarantees, but there is definitely hope.

Your best bet is exposure while doing a good Plan A.

Secure your finances and talk to an Atty to make a temp sole cusody order available in short order if needed.

All these things work to protect your children and yourself, as well as show that there will be consequences to go along with the nice little affair. Make sure the children are not allowed anywhere near the OW.

Have you read "Surviving an Affair" available for purchase on this site? Also, become very familiar with what love busters are. So you can avoid doing them. You are not going to love bust at all, and this will get them started on love busting each other.