I'm sorry. I think, especially in the case of hospice admissions, that there should be somebody that sits down with the family and specifically addresses the treatment plan. The families are already making the most difficult decisions of their lives and sometimes it's very hard to focus on the details...especially when you aren't even aware of the way things are commonly done.

We met with an intake counselor before moving my grandmother to the hospice facility. But, since I'm a nurse, I was able to be there and ask the questions from a medical standpoint and explain things to my mother so that she would understand FULLY what to expect. I can't imagine going through something like that without somebody that really knows the ropes.

Again, I'm sorry. I do hope that talking to them at least eased a little of the doubt about the treatments that he got or didn't get. And I also hope that reading some of the info on the links I sent you helped put you at ease about the fluid/nutrition part of the whole process.

I hope you find peace with this situation, it's sad to have to deal with questions along with grief. It should be a time of remembering.

Thanks Ozdreamer, and welcome to marriagebuilders. The talk is usually not this depressing.

Cathy - The links really helped, and I know that he did get excellent care, and was not "thristy", they did the mouth care thing. He died comfortably, which was much more than I expected, and for that I am very thankful.

Believer...

as a nurse for twenty years...

here's some of the philosophy...

dying itself is painful....so while there may not be pain up till the point.........a patient closing in on death..
total body shut...no urine output..poor cardiac output..b/p low.....etc...there is a point in which pain becomes involved....as the cells die....

most angry I ever saw a doc was someone impending passing with NO drugs given...he was livid.......

there is usually not a lethal dose given...it is usually morphine pushed q 1 hour...at 1 mg or so..round these parts and very very very peaceful...

crappo I gotta bolt...will be back with more...

blessings to you and your loss.....my friend

ARK^^

Believe I didn't realize your Dad had died. I am so sorry. I hope your mother is doing okay. I hope you can stay there with her to help her through her lonliness and grief, as well as your own.

(((((believer)))))

The "value of life" question continues, but this is not the time to discuss where our society has been headed.

This is the time to tell you that you are in our thoughts and prayers on the loss of your father. "Expected" or "unexpected," the loss hurts. May God bless and comfort you and make His presence known to you and your family during this difficult time.

God bless.

nt

believer, I am so sorry to hear that your dad has died. He must have been proud of you and happy to have you as his daughter. I hope that you can remember the happy times you have had together.

Believer--I'm so sorry about your dad. I missed the thread till now because I was dealing with my own stuff and just didn't see it. If they hastened his death, I'm even sorrier. You are a woman of faith, and you don't have to walk alone. I'm glad for that. It will make it--maybe not easier, exactly--but less bad than it would be if you had to mourn without hope.

t&l