W and I have our first joint counseling session Wed nite. I'm excited but don't know what to expect.<P>We went out Sat nite for our anniversary and HAd a light dinner. We then rented a video and made love.<P>The funny thing though was she kinda asked me to leave saying don't you have children at home. So I left about 11:00 pm.<BR>She then called me Sun morning and said she was sorry she called me to com up on Sat. She was questioning whether she was just using me as she didn't want to be alone.<P>That left a question mark in my mind all day.<BR>We didn't atlk much yesterday as I worked and she went in in the afternoon.<P>She stoped in this morniing to help our daughter and as she was leaving she gave me a hug and a kiss, the first morning she has done that in 3 months.<P>I talked to her counsleor yesterday and he really helped me understand what she is going thru. She is trying understand how she could have done such a thing and is basically hating herself.<BR>I'm keeping on with PLan A and I agreed to allow her to come in and clean the house as I haven't been getting to it too often. I had been resisting this as I don't want her as a maid, but as my wife. She keeps seeing it as me rejecting her so I decided to allow her to do it if she wants.<P>Thats all for now, I will keep you posted on how things turn out tommorrow!

RWD - I am SO happy for you!!!! Congratulations on getting the joint counseling. It sounds like your W is going thru a very confused time right now. Even though you are getting some conflicting messages, at least she is trying to let you know how she feels. This is a real positive and you seem to be reacting in the best way possible. <P>Keep up the Plan "A" and let us know what happens tomorrow night(I know you will).<P>BTW, are you using her therapist for the joint work or another person?<P>

RWD - Just wanted to wish you a productive counseling session. This is good news...I liked the kiss thing too!<BR>You said the therapist said your wife is trying to understand how she did what she did and is "basically hating herself". I have been going through months of that with my husband. Unfortunately these mood swings don't come across as remorse but can seem to the betrayed spouse more like the betrayer is leaving again. I'll be thinking of you - let us know how it went.<BR>

Hey RWD,<BR>Glad to hear there is at least a little progress on your side of the board.<P>The thing to do now is NO LOVE BUSTERS! Make her feel safe with you. Remember she is in a very vulnerable place right now feeling the way she does.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

RWD - congratulations on the counselling and best of luck to you both. You're doing great! <P>Lori