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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Does Gender matter for the WS returning to the marriage?

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Does Gender matter for the WS returning to the marriage? #1982194 12/03/07 04:41 PM
Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 26 J javaeak Member
javaeak Member J Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 26	I was reading on another forum and there was a very long post about people who had waited for the affair to end and it never did and the WS and OP ended up together. The thing I noticed was almost everyone that responded was a BW. I just wonder if Men are more likely to completely start over then women and remarry. If perhaps women especially mothers are more likely to at some point come back because of the kids or the lifestyle they used to have more often? It does seem to me a lot of the success stories are from men as well on here I know there are a ton of women as well but I am just wondering from what people have scene over the years if you think one sex over the other is more likely to come out of the fog quicker or want to save the marriage? Bs Me. 32 WS Her 33 DS 2 DS 8 DD 10 Dday August 10 Plan A until 11/4 Plan B but failing miserably at times

Re: Does Gender matter for the WS returning to the marriage? javaeak #1982195 12/03/07 05:32 PM
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 9,015 F ForeverHers Member
ForeverHers Member F Joined: May 2002 Posts: 9,015	In my opinion gender doesn't really make much of a difference. There are other factors in play from the marital "atmosphere" to societal "norms" that downplay the seriousness of affairs to addictions to different classes of affairs to someone's religious beliefs, and many others. Probably the "hardest" to recover from, and none of them are "easy," is the Class II Involved Affair where the wife is emotionally "invested" in an Other Man. Men are also very "visual," and it's often difficult for a male BS to overcome the "mental movies." Women BS's tend to have a harder time with the husband who thinks he's in love with OW. There's just no "hard and fast" rule.

Re: Does Gender matter for the WS returning to the marriage? ForeverHers #1982196 12/03/07 05:53 PM
Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 7,464 Sydney, Australia B bigkahuna Member
bigkahuna Member B Joined: Oct 2005 Posts: 7,464 Sydney, Australia	I'd agree with FH - I don't think gender makes much of a difference. Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.

Re: Does Gender matter for the WS returning to the marriage? javaeak #1982197 12/04/07 01:29 PM
Joined: Sep 2001 Posts: 5,906 A ark^^ Member
ark^^ Member A Joined: Sep 2001 Posts: 5,906	I just wonder if Men are more likely to completely start over then women and remarry. I don't think men are more likely to start over...I think they are more likely to abandon one family/marriage and immediately go in to the affair one...believing that the ilks of life were in marriage....NOT within them... that men usually leave without the children in tow...part time parents with some free time to make a new life...where the women are left as full time parents...with visiting WS and now new 'mommy" I think a lot men don't like to live alone... where woman can't wait to at times... the more us women get to suffer the more we can be martyrs and victims....and some of us lap that stuff up.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> more men think they are starting over in my opinion...except the problem is the baggage isn't being carried by them...some of it IS them.. ARK

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