Hi, wrote a long post and tried to Submit it and couldnt, just trying again

ok, will try again, i think i wrote too much last time and couldnt submit 4 some reason.Been married for 9 yrs with 2 kids aged 8 & 6. rocky M since nearly the very beggining. we already had problems since courting yrs. He used to say he couldnt give me what i needed, enough support, time,affection...he still says that. have been livving in Ireland since we got married. iam from Spain and have always been a bit depressed living in this wet country with no family around. he has always been very independent and has usually been greedy with money eventhough he made a lot . he always wants to keep me under a budget, he has a good job and has built a property businnes thanks to keeping us tight moneywise. i never agreed in buying so many houses since i realised we needed the money to live. he bought lots of property without my consentment and borrowed money on both our names, signing papers on my behalf without me knowing.
We became aggresive towards each other, i even report him twice to gardas for domestic violence, he was very agresive and would shout in front of kids.
i always wanted to try councelling but had to drag him into it. went about 6 or 7 times but we stopped going cos he considered it a waste of time and money. he didnt want to change and i think he has lost hope about 3 yrs ago.
To make a long story short, last wknd i discovered he has been chatting to good few women on line and met at least 3 that i know. He recognises this was a mistake and is sorry for doing it. He is working in Spain at the moment to try and get us there, we are hoping to move there in Summer. he says once there i'll be happy and have less issues about him, cos i'll be able to visit my family, and having more support from them i'll be happy. But i wont be happy if i dont have a supportive, affectionate and understanding H who doesnt want to spend enough time with me. he says he was meeting this women- he only met them once, he says- cos i was nasty to him and had a bad face when he came home from work. i had a bad face if he had argue about putting enough money in family account or when i realised he was constantly wanting to buy property and not telling me about it.
He says i should just be grateful he is making the effort to be in Spain working and i should just focus in moving to Spain.
I am using Plan A and he is happy enough but i dont get much simpathy from him in days like today that he's so tired and doesnt want to talk on phone but for 5 minutes. I need to grieve for what iam going through on my own here with the two kids but he thinks what he has done is unforgivable but that i should move on and stop complaining or talk about why or how he did it.
I seem to need to talk to him a lot this days since he is away for 10 days at the time but he doesnt seem interested. Please any help what should i do. ?. he just thinks that moving to Spain i'll be happy even if we split up. he things our M has never worked and never will probably

i continue here seing i am able to submit. Now H says he has a problem of addiction to this adult sites. This started about 2 yrs ago, he had a couple of profiles on this sites but he promised he never chatted to anybody or met anybody. But this last time that i found out he said there is a girl who also had marital problems and they were chatting on Skype and exchanged pictures of each other kids but this only went on for 1 wknd and then they met once. So he wasnt honest when i asked 2 yrs ago and he tells me know. \i emailed this girl and confronted her, first emailed answered she didnt know my H and was busy enough with her own family and kids. 2nd email she said she had told me all she wanted to tell and i shouldnt be suspicious but look into my own M's problems and try and show love to my H. Is like if she knew him well.
He met another girl through this anotherfriend.com and met to go sailing, he said he met her in saling club but didnt go sailing together, they just chat on net and met a couple of times in sailing club. i emailed the girl and i found out she is back in Germany and chatted and met my H to improve her English and because she is a passionate sailor and wanted to find a sailing club in Ireland, she said she knew he was married cos he said it and he also said he loved his family.
Another girl he met said he had his ring off and only met once cos she didnt like him, he said to her he wasnt married.
My H has recognised this was a mistake but that there was a reason, that was that he needed conversation, company, warmth... and wasnt getting it from me.
I always wanted to make things better between us and bought all these books for M in crisis and tried to read them with him, to talk about our problems. We have LOTS of problems. He seems to suffer from depression, he has big ups and downs and i cant handle this. \He hasnt want to go out together for a long time. He says i always have a bad attitude and doesnt enjoy it after expending 100 euros in babysitter and dinner isnt worth it. But i really dont feel i have been that bad. But the thing is we needed serious councelling since we have so many issues, not to go for dinner. we were really far from that .
He seems to have abandon the battle, i think it has been a battle for me all along, not for him. he has been long gone. i battle to make him be a family man, but he didnt like that, he had to work and then have his hobbies, his soccer, handball, sailing or whatever. he would say he had to look after himself to make a living for us, otherwise he would get depressed. when home he would be depressed many times, falling asleep at 6 pm, or just constantly on the phone to auctioneers or at the computer, never really bonding with me or kids. Any suggestion welcome please...i need help.
Can i recover my M eventhough he doesnt seem able to change?