Looking for a good book or website dealing with children meeting and dealing with the new bf. How do I handle the questions/answers with him. I have already asked ex to give some advance notice of them meeting, so I can be prepared. Me having an emotional breakdown because I did not know was what I was trying to prevent with the request. Somebody has to have studied this and written a book and have guidelines.

I don't know of any off the top of my head.

I'd just like to caution you... You can't control this, and if you try, you may make the situation worse.

My guess is unless your ex-wife is a total flake, the meeting will be low-key and some of it will go over your son's head. I also doubt your son will have a lot of questions because he doesn't have the words or experience to process and express what he's seeing.

The big concern will be that this new man is going to take over as Daddy. The best way to put this fear to bed is for you to continue being Daddy, and not to react as if this BF is a threat. After all, he'll never love your son the way you do. He'll never be able to teach and lead and discipline and mold your son the way you can.

I'd also like to say that unless this BF already has kids, or is an amazing person, most likely he will vanish into the mist after a long period of exposure to a three year old. Even the best 3 year olds are exhuasting and demanding. As a mother of two, I would NEVER volunteer for living with a 3 year old that wasn't a very close blood relation.

instead of wondering when it will happen, why don't you tell the ex that you would really appreciate NOT getting the three-year-old involved at least until things settle down?

why can't she just date bf and leave ure kid out of it?

my stbxw honored my request when i asked her to do the same

bf youngest is junior in high school. Two older children are in college. Don't really know a whole lot about him. Find it interesting, but don't really care. I care about my ex and her well being physically and emotionally. He is just an innocent bystander in wrong place at the wrong time.

Son 3 has a very advanced vocabulary and communicates excellent. The preschool he is attending will be moving him in January to the oldest class of 4 and 5 year olds.

Check my other post for more details. Ex getting ready to have a life changing experience because of finances. I am expecting one of two things. 1. attempt to move to Houston. 2. moves in with bf to cut living expenses.

All this before the next school year. So, I am talking about 6 to 7 months.

Based on experience, I think she will rush things for her own reasons.