Graplin, the reason I posted your quotes here is because you lie and deny as a debate tactic and I didn't want you to be able to deny your comments. I wanted meremortal to see how disingenious you are being to her. You are ALWAYS being "misunderstood" or "mischaracterized" or "misrepresented" when you are losing the debate. That is a cheesy amateur debate ploy [employed by the very most dishonest] when they know they can't defend their point.

I caught onto that little ploy over on the other thread when you lied about your statement about Ace leaving the forum, and, thinking back, see that it characterizes ALL of your debates. The lightbulb went off! And here you are doing it again, of course. LOL Let's look at this exchange from Saturday which typifies how you operate:


graplin: "The concern I expressed was that in the rush to call troll whenever the outside-the-norm story shows up, we have driven off people *who were not trolls*.

Ace pointed out that when she first came on this forum, she was accused of being a troll. She left the forum. She did eventually come back. She was not a troll. "


Melody: She never claimed she left for that reason.


graplin: "And I never said she did! This is another case of you setting up your straw arguments. I was pointing out that she was falsely accused."


http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=7&vc=1


Lying and denying ………………..as a debate tactic, graplin. THAT is your MO.

Graplin...clearly you are choosing to lie and wish to continue the charade that you actually care for posters here. The above is a direct quote from that thread. The abuse....yes abuse Graplin (maybe you would consider the stuff foreplay, who knows) was evident....even before the above post. You were either just too immature/inexperienced to recognize it...or too devious to see it for what it really was. Either way your words were harmful to that poster.

Bottom line is, you offered lousy advice in that thread....choosing instead to make the victim out to be the perp.




As I told you on the thread in question.

Anyone can go to the thread linked HERE and will see that the quote with details above came *after* my posts asking for clarification.

Not before, med. After.

Once the above info was out, I encouraged SW to deal with the more dangerous things occurring in her marriage rather than on marriage building.

So, why would you make it out as if I had advised her to submit to sexual abuse when I did nothing of the kind? Why would you twist my questions toward clarification as support for the abuser?

Your employment background has led you to be around rapists, murderers and criminals. My background has led me to be around middle-aged Christian women. That is the simple explanation for our initial different approaches to what SW had presented in regards to the sexual issues initially. You're accustomed, I would assume, to dealing with people who are often guilty of heinous acts. I'm accustomed to dealing with Christian women who have been brought up with the idea that sex is generally something dirty and that men (including their husbands) are out for nothing else. That can leave them with a warped attitude about sex with their husband.

The thing I did that you found so horrible, was ask for clarification.



Well, the thing is, anyone can go and read the thread and see that I offered NO advice, lousy or otherwise because I did not think enough information had been presented.

Anyone can see that I never made SW's husband a victim, nor did I ever condemn or judge her.

Why would you continue to propagate that falsehood about me?

Why would you make such an effort to paint my participation here as a false charade, as a liar? Why would you attack my character because you disagree with me?

People of good character can disagree without turning it into some sort of forum bloodbath.

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