I sure did! I told you he is the best!

I have been off posting to Try and R_I_M and planned to come in tonight and post here about it. We are staying off each other's threads, as we were warned by some vets that it's a bad idea. He wishes he could post more, but is happy that I can dive in and read/post as much as possible. We are soooo much better. We have a five-day weekend coming up and will have some much needed "together" time to fill out the questionnaire and work on a solid plan.

The other thing I wanted to say is that we had a discussion about Mrs. W's comment about our "unconditional love/soulmate stuff" that we get caught up in, and I wanted your thoughts. We agreed that there is such a thing as soulmates. Sometimes they find each other, sometimes they don't. But even when they do, and even after a life is built, it is never really unconditional. For example, and man and woman may meet, get married, and have a family together. However, if one becomes an alcoholic (drug user), or abusive, or has an A and cannot get out of the fog and recover, etc- that couple may not stay together even though they are soulmates. So, soulmates-possibly, but unconditional love is something that is probably reserved for our children only. It wouldn't matter what my kids did in their own lives, I would always love and protect them. This is not true of a relationship, though. Thank you, Mrs. W, for pointing that out!

Hi LaLa,

I am so glad to see you and your H working through some stuff. That's awesome.




Amazing or stupid.....lol!

Actually LaLa, it's been pretty darn hard, and it still is. My last d-day was about 4 months ago and it's been pretty tough. However, like you, my H is willing to look at himself and make changes. It couldn't happen fast enough for me though.....lol.....

Ya know, it was this thread where it finally sunk in for me that WSs don't just up and "get it" all of a sudden, like some kind of epiphany. I now realize there are layers of foggieness that have to be peeled away. And Mrs. W helped me to see that. A BIG SHOUT OUT TO MRS. W!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

H and I are making progress and we've been busy the last few days getting things done and enjoying our time together. Everyday that he understands more and talks to me about it, the safer I feel about a future with him.

I'm glad you're here with your H. It has already made a huge difference for him, and you too I believe.

Take care.

Hey mopey! Was wondering where you had gotten off to...glad to hear you guys are working things out, too.

There are layers, yes. But my real turn around began the night he was serious about D. All of a sudden, it was like "oh sh**, this is REAL." But then the rest comes off slowly, as we work through things one day at a time. Much work left to be done for sure, but we're getting there.

I wish you guys all the best!!

Hi LaLa - I was hoping you would jump on this.

Let me tell you MY view OK?

There is no such thing as your soul mate. Everyone in an affair *thinks* they have found their soulmate. When you fall in love you feel like you have found your soulmate. That soulmate condition is totally dependent on the love bank balance you have for your partner at that time - if the love bank balance for that person has breached the romantic love threshold, tada - you feel like you found your soulmate.

Soulmate is foggy.

There is no such thing as one soulmate for each person!!!! Otherwise you'd never find him/her.

Soulmate is a juvenile teenaged star struck fantasy kinda thing.

But what if I like being in a star stuck teenaged fantasy? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'm kidding, of course. I understand what you are saying, though, and I appreciate your input.

LaLa...

<img src="/ubbt/images/grae...ns/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

OMG I am LMAO!!!!

You are so funny!

Did I mention I also still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

You think that's funny...When I first got here and was in my fog filled tirade about gaining clarity from contact with OM <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> MelodyLane told me that <img src="/ubbt/images/grae...ns/grin.gif" alt="" /> was what they called what I was spewing down in Texas...Even angry fogbound me got a laugh outta that one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> (and of course she was RIGHT!)

Mrs. W

That's good stuff! I really have to take the time and go back and read that stuff. I'm sure there's a lot in there I can learn about.

I just received a letter from a former co-worker with whom I had sort of a love/hate relationship. She was very immature and did a lot of gossiping, which I despise, but she is also very young, so some of that is to be expected. But when we were close, we were really close and had a lot in common. I have not spoken to anyone from my former job since May and did not even get a chance to say good-bye to her when I quit. Below is the poem:

I have a list of folks I know, all written in a book
And every year when Christams comes, I go and take a look
And that is when I realize that these names are a part
Not of the book they're written in, but really of my heart

For each name stands for someone who has crossed my path sometime,
And in the meeting they've become the rhythm in each rhyme
And while it sounds fantastic for me to make this calim,
I really feel that I'm composed of each remembered name

And while you may not be aware of any special link
Just meeting you has changed my life a lot more than you think
For once I've met somebody, the years cannot erase
The memory of a pleasant word or of a friendly face

So never think my Christmas cards are just a mere routine
Of names upon a Christams list, forgotten in between,
For when I send a Christams card that is addressed to you,
It is because you're on the list that I'm indebted to

For you are but a total of the many folks I've met,
And you happen to be one of those I prefer not to forget
And whether I have known you for many years or few,
In some ways you have a part in shaping things I do

And every year when Christams comes, I realize a new,
The best gifts life can offer is meeting folks like you.
And may the spirit of Christams that forever endures
Leave its richest blessings in the hearts of mine and yours.


I just spent the last hour with tears running down my face. I wrote her an email at work to thank her, but I don't think she'll ever know how bad I needed that right now or what it meant to me. She is a very special person, and I am a better person having known her.

It made me reflect on the devastation of the last year, and the terrible mistakes I've made. Mostly to my husband, almost to my boys, to our financial situation and my life in general. As I try to move forward, I must continue to look back so that I can see what it is that needs to be fixed even above and beyond the A. I have left behind many of the things and the people that were bad for me. I am trying to squelch the knee-jerk reactions that make me want to lash out in any bad situation before thinking them through. I am trying to find that peace inside that comes with the knowing that we need not live in fear. I have a lot of work to do, but I am willing to do it. Sometimes it's overwhelming, though, and in these times I look to the Lord for guidance and the serenity that only He can give. I am always met with the gentle love that He holds for each of us, no matter what we do, silently hoping that we turn to Him with our Earthly issues and strife, lest we bear them on our own.

So, here's wishing all of you the very happiest of holidays and once again a warm thank you to all who have had a hand in kicking my buttocks (as my 7-year-old calls it!) down the right path once and for all.

God Bless!


edited to change the name of the thread

After typing all that and crying my eyes out, I turned around in my chair to see my 3-year-old completely naked except for a pair of cowboy boots and a huge grin!

These are the good times! When the kiddies are young and Santa is alive and on his way in four days!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yeppers.

God Bless you Resonance and your family this Christmas.

Still trying to change the darn thread name <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

OK, cannot figure out why it won't work. It did when I took out the "unique situation" so I'm not sure why it won't stick...

You have to edit the name of the first post.

You have to go and edit the title in your first post on the thread...That option is only available for about 3 months, so make sure you like the title that you have around that time!

LMAO at your naked little cowboy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Merry Christmas and God Bless to your family LaLa! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Thanks for the help on the thread name! DUH <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hi Lala, that was beautiful. I'm stating a list now.
This is much more inspiring than the "men beware" post. That one brought me right down; because it describes the emotional detachment my WW talks about. When you get a minute please go look at my thread. I've got something I would really appreciate if you commented on.

Thanks,

Thank you, and I do not usually get involved in those threads, because of the pain that many here are suffering. But I did this time! It started out as a pretty good thread, pointing out the glaring, sickening state of our society in this regard. That an adulter/sociopath/abuser can be allowed, in our court system, to then comletely anialate their victim is inexcusable! I am headed to your thread now!

Mornin everybody!

Maggie- Don't let it bother you! I think she was just concerned that someone so new wouldn't get what you were saying. I am so sick and tired of seeing "BestAngel" all over every flipping thead with no indication of what it is or where it came from or why it's here. If it wants to go with BA-how 'bout BestA$$ !!!!

Mrs. W-Glad to see you are getting your 420 edjumacation this morning! Sometimes it's still hard for me, but I have cut all access ties, so I could not get to it, even if I got weak (which I haven't yet). But I cannot WAIT to go see the doc!

TMTS-Hang in there, buddy! I hope your weekend goes well, although I know the alien will have her panties in a bunch over you mucking up her little "alone time" stuff. You are fighting for your family, and you want to feel you've done everything to save it no matter what, so you go boy! Stand in the mirror and flex a little! I'm kidding, of course. I feel for you, and I'm praying for you!! Hang onto your hope!!!!!

All you MBers-happy holidays!

Probably won't be on much the next few days...busy-busy-busy!!