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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537 |
Lala and W2S... you are both and inspiration to us all. Thank you for the time and effort you have put forth on all of us. I hope and pray for a speedy recovery on all levels for you and the boys.
hugs from me and baby snuggles <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,560
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Joined: Nov 2007
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Not and Snuggles...thanks ladies! You both know how to reach me if you need me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 862
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Lala take care. You've been a treasure trove of information and support. Thank you. Keep me in your prayers as I will you. Please don't stay away too long!
Vladie
Last edited by myfamilyilove; 03/13/08 11:02 PM.
Plan D June 08 Me FBS 36 W 38 Married 13/1/09 The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,560
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Joined: Nov 2007
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You know how to reach me if you need me, Vladie!
You are going to be OK...hold on to your heart, buddy. You will get through this!!!!!!!!!!
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,327
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Hi LaLa,
I am sorry you two are going through a rough spot. Those triggers are just AWFUL. And you two are just past the one year mark so you've got a ways to go. But chin up, with your persistant patience and care to his healing, he'll get stronger and will love you like he wants to.
LaLa, I know this is difficult for both of you. But I am begging you, please let him vent and then just hold him afterwards. We BSs, feel like such fools. We feel like fools for giving our spouses another chance to possibly hurt us. That's why we have to know the "why" of everything so we can figure out if it's possible that it could ever happen again. It is an extremely scary posistion for us. Even if you've only cheated once, that's enough.
Afterall, most of usually say that we'll leave our spouses if they were to ever cheat on us. So, we feel like fools for staying and the only way to not feel like a fool is for the WS to show us that we're not fools by loving us through it and "doing whatever it takes for as long as it takes". We need to see your remorse over and over again when the triggers hit.
The triggers and this pain WILL fade with time and persistant healing and caring. He just needs you to be there for him to help pick himself up. One day he'll be stronger and won't need you so much to help him through.
He needs "intensive" round the clock care until he's not bleeding from the wound, then he needs regular check ups to see that his wound is healing.
Just stay viligent LaLa. Look for his pain and try to help him in some way. This stuff rips your world apart and he will need your strenghth to help him while he picks up the pieces and re-arranges everything he thought he knew. He has to paint a new picture now and that takes time.
{{{{{LaLa & W2S}}}}}
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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Joined: Nov 2007
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Hi Mopers!!
Yes, I am being strong while he is picking up the pieces...I really am. And I have changed so much about myself and owned and apologized for everything I've done wrong. We are really getting back on track, now. It has just been a very difficult few weeks (tell YOU about it, right!). I can feel us starting to pull forward again and gain some momentum, and I want to utilize this time wisely to begin re-building the financial stuff...once that stops looming over our heads, it will end a lot of the triggers that we have to deal with every day.
Thank you so much for stopping in...you are the best!! Headed over to your thread now..
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by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 04:02 PM
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