UC, I recommend that you stick with one thread so that when someone comes by to give advice, they can read all your info at once. I see that you recently posted this:
Female 37, Married 10 years, 2 kids under 5. Discovered EA on Nov. 22. Discovered EA was really a PA on Nov. 29. All denied by WS. Have evidence to prove it thanks to Spying 101!!! Got rid of cell phone, web came — he replaced it. Installed his own keylogger. Still communicating with OW depsite requests to stop. She's even giving him legal advice. So he feels there is no marriage to save, thanks to her encouragement. He withdrew a long time ago. I asked if something was wrong so many times and got nothing. He just shut himself off. I felt it but did nothing but am aware of that now and trying to make it work. It's very difficult to float between considering separation agreements and reconciliation. He is meeting with a therapist next week to determine if he can rebuild. He has fallen out of love with me and CANNOT see why! Maybe it has something to do with his new 25-yr-old GF???? So I have implemented the stick of plan A but he is not interesting in the carrot, won't even look at lovebusters or meeting any of my needs. Doesn't care. Is he too far gone? It's going to be a lonely Christmas, constantly hearing about how little he loves me, how he wishes he could run away....I've even told him to go to her but he won't! Help????
Just because he is not interested in the carrot doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it. If he won't tell you what your lovebusters are, try to figure them out yourself. If he won't tell you what his emotional needs are, take the survey for him. It's not at all uncommon for a WS to resist Plan A, but Plan A is a critical component for Plan B.
Based on what I've read, I think you need to spend some more time in Plan A and maybe refine your technique. Why don't you tell us what you're doing that you think is Plan A-ish (and maybe what you think isn't), and probably some of the experts will chime in.
He's not too far gone. He probably thinks that he is, but he's not. He's just a typical Wayward Spouse.
Tell us more. (On this thread.)
