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I need some help with my marriage.
My d is finalized in Feb. I dont want a d. I really would like to remain married to my H.
I really thought that my H was having a affair. I needed to see if it was true. So I made him take a lie detecter test. Which he was found to be innocent.
He was so upset at me, that he moved out, and filed for d on the grounds of me not trustin him.
I really would like some advice on how to win back his trust?
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The last thing this place needs is MORE controversy so I will be emailing this post to Justuss
If I am wrong...I apologize.
I choose to allow Justuss to prevail.
Mr. Wondering
Last edited by Justuss; 12/10/07 07:32 PM.
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hugs,
Why did you think he was having an affair?
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The last thing this place needs is MORE controversy so I will be emailing this post to Justuss for her/his review
If I am wrong...I apologize.
I choose to allow Justuss to prevail. I agree Mr. W. This poster also sounds like Want2Believe who is posting on Shadow's thread. I could be wrong but I don't think so.
Last edited by Justuss; 12/10/07 11:57 PM.
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You know. There has been so much time spent on these people/persons that I wish their IP address were blocked. Our valuable MB time is being wasted on the wrong people.
I felt I needed to post on Shadow's thread to keep harm from being done.
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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We are going to give all new posters the benefit of any doubts.
Please feel free to post IF you have SUPPORTIVE advice.
If not, please,,, move on to the next thread.
Thanks all for your concerns and suuport.
JustUss
Administrator/Moderator
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To Mr W & Mop,
I thought that coming to this website was suppose to help people when they needed help with there marriage? I was refered to this site by my bf so I could get good advice.
If that is the way you feel about me, that Im this other person. Then dont bother responding!! I only want people who are sincere anyways**********
Last edited by Justuss; 12/10/07 09:14 PM.
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Thank You Justuss!!
Im glad there is someone on this site, that will give me support.
I appreciate it.
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We are going to give all new posters the benefit of any doubts.
Please feel free to post IF you have SUPPORTIVE advice.
If not, please,,, move on to the next thread. Thank you Justuss for making it clear beyond any doubt what is to be the standard operating procedure here. I choose to allow Justuss to prevail. Thank you, me too. I agree wholeheartedly. He was so upset at me, that he moved out, and filed for d on the grounds of me not trustin him.
I really would like some advice on how to win back his trust? hugs, I apologize for the maelstrom you inadvertantly walked into. If you are convinced now that there is no affair, then maybe you could repost your question on the Emotional Needs board. The topics discussed there are things like, how to restore love by eliminating LBs ("love busters") and meeting each other's ENs (emotional needs). IMHO winning back trust falls into that category. Can I meet you over there?
me - 47  H - 39  married 2001 DS 8a  DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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hugsandkisses, I think thats an excellent idea for you to go over to the Emotional Needs board where you can get the help you need and deserve. In fact, I would suggest that Jayne take you right under her wing. Welcome to Marriage Builders. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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H&K,
I know that you want to believe that your H ended your marriage simply because you accused him of having an affair.
That, to me seems a bit extreme, don't you think? Perhaps you can take some time and tell us a bit of why you thought he was having an affair.
You see, those of us BS here have probably, between us, seen it all at some point.
In the end though, I suspect that your lack of trust in him was the tip of the iceberg and an excuse for ending the marriage.
JMHO
Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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H&K..... Here's some supportive and constructive advice for ya.... I need some help with my marriage.
My d is finalized in Feb. I dont want a d. I really would like to remain married to my H. If you want to save your marriage, you might want to lose your boyfriend. I was refered to this site by my bf so I could get good advice.
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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Hi Mope,
I almost asked about the bf, but figured it she might mean "best friend"
How are you doing?
Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Hi WhoMe.... I'm doing better. Thanks. By your posts it sounds like you and Skirmisher are doing o.k. as well. I suppose it could mean bestfriend, but I smell another rat..... http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=6&vc=1
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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Jayne,Melody,Who,Star
Thanks fot giving me a chance. I am taking your advice, and posting it on the en forum.
As for Mopey/Who,
The bf is my friend Michelle, not a "boyfriend" **********EDIT*********
Last edited by Justuss; 12/11/07 11:11 AM.
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H&K,
I have been on a journey for many months now that has required me to change one thing. EVERYTHING.
The BIGGEST and most CRUCIAL was my relationship with G-d. I am in the PROCESS and still LEARNING. FAITH is something that you have to do daily whether you see it or NOT.
Since I am still so new, I don't have that much advice because I am LEARNING everything I need to to stand for my M, but most importantly BECOMING THE WOMAN G-D ALWAYS ENVISIONED ME TO BE.
If you truly want to have your M, then listen to what the others tell you on here and trust them. They have walked before us and will lead the way for you.
If trust is an issue for you, this is a great place to start and as you do, you will be amazed at what you learn.
SG
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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