I agree. No name calling.

My:

Your story is very sad. I hope that you will find the strength to stand up for yourself against this awful person.

Best wishes.

[color:"purple"]Yeah it's sad..but I know all things are working for my good.

I've got 2 babies to live for. God will deal with my WH and the OW.

I recently found out that my WH doesn't have any grounds to file for a divorce in his state right now...the only grounds he has is to wait 18 mos (that will be Nov. 2008) to file and prove we have lived separate for 18 mos continuously w/having no sex (by mutual consent or voluntarily made that decision) But even if that is something he may want to file with...it wasn't by mutual consent or a decision that I made.

After finding this out, I believe it WILL be up to me to file.[/color]

I received a text message fro the OW today it said :

"Merry Christmas to You and the babies."

This was just to start something...right?

Are you still craving to get back with your husband? Could you learn to let him go? If YOU are the one that needs to divorce him, why not get the papers tomorrow and finish it?

Why would you want a man that is so bad to you to be around? It would be a blessing, for you, if that convict would never contact you ever again. As it stands, you have a chance to help make that happen if you get the divorce going. Then give the police his address for the child support. Also, for any outstanding warrants.

Good luck getting rid of your abusive and terrible convict husband! I hope you are rid of him by next year and that next year you realize how much better you are for losing that loathesome man! You are precious dont you see it? You deserve a man that really loves you.

Try and get some counseling for yourself to see why you are so attracted to this abusive man and why he still has so much of a pull on you.

Some women are attracted to criminals for some reason. You are like them in that you are attracted to this bad bad man.

Were you always attracted to the "bad boy" or is this your first experiance dating a bad bad man?

Your kids need a good father, not that one. Think of the children if you dont value your precious self enough to divorce this man. They, and YOU deserve better. Break away from his tempting games. He is sly like any common criminal. Break away from the temptation to get back with him. He is not worth it.

Lets not loose site of the fact that these revelations don't come over night. My1stLove is still in the beginning stages of all this. Personally, it took 6 months for the shock just to wear off for me after D-day.

My1stLove, IGNORE OW. Don't get caught up in ANY communication with her. She wants to rope you in for some sickening reason. Have absolutely NO contact with her.

[color:"purple"][It's been 7 mos...so yes it's now just starting to wear off. aNewName, do you have an e-mail address?[/color]

[color:"purple"]Ok, I needed to talk w/my husband regarding papers about our children before I go overseas, and he is still very, VERY, po'ed about me calling the mom...said things like

"you made youself lookl like the dumb one."
"why are you calling those people's house and talking to her Mom??!!'
"you lost your mind"
"you are the dumbest woman I've ever known."
"just send the stuff to my mom's house."

then he won't answer his phone but lets his OW answer it.

I just hung up.
I guess I'll still try to find out where he really is...where they can get "his" SUV. The truck payment is almost 5 mos past due...as far as I know driving w/out insurance.

I'm hating him more everyday.[/color]

[color:"purple"]also said

"you don't know they are talking about you..."
"I'm not her damn husband tell her to get a husband of her own"
"why did you call talking about me?"
"she did not call or text you" (gf text me on Christmas Day)
"i even told my mom what you did"
"I'm not leaving you jack"

He doesn't even give a flip that his wife and kids are leaving the country!! I don't understand that. I just think it's better off I do go and don't even contact him while we're there...but why does it seem so hard NOT to let him know where we are/where we will be?

How can I get these child support papers served to him when I don't know his address or where he works?[/color]

"He doesn't even give a flip that his wife and kids are leaving the country!! I don't understand that."

Maybe you can begin to understand that HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU NOR THE KIDS>

You are just one woman in a whole slew of women he had sex with, cheated on, sometime married, or had children with.

You are one of many he has left. He seems cold and leaves you like you are worth nothing to him...

Believe me when I say :This man does not love you!.

You may think he should love you and the kids but he does not.

Get a clue that he does not love you guys anymore. It is sad and I am sorry for your pain but this particular man you married does not and will not love you anymore.

So you might as well get an attorney and get the divorce going. The attorney will know how to find your husband to serve him with the child support papers.

Good luck, I would CUT him outta your life like a piece of moldy cheese. It seems like he is and always was TROUBLE.

I have to agree with Stellakat,

I don’t usually use judgement but past behavior and attitude are what you can tell about a person and it does predict the future, not every time, but this is your life and your kids lives, do you want to risk it with a man that is so set against you, is having yet another women and yet another child from another women.

You are still relating “fog talk” and responding to that, it is driving you crazy, stressing you, making you anxious, like I said it does.

An attorney could get things done while you stay in the dark, at least plan B, but divorce sounds much more appropriate in your very particular case.

Again, talk to Dr Harley on the radio show or you can talk to Steve Harley.

[color:"purple"]thanks again.

well i am going on w/my life as far as going back to school and taking care of me and the kids.

He was so furious when he found out I called. He said he was there the whole time, but I know he was lying.

Told me,"you know they are talking about you."

But I believe it's him they're talking about.[/color]

Cut the drama by getting a divorce and then file for child support or not and get moving on with your life. If you get caught up in endless waste of time drama, you wont be being good to yourself by getting the divorce and getting a great life for yourself and your kids.

Can you ignore the drama of his life that you are addicted to? Can you? Or are you too addicted to that type of drama....and you are unable to let it go.

get some supportive counseling to help you thru to the divorce.

[color:"purple"]Well I have a myspace page and it's "private". I checked my e-mail linked to that account and the OW sent me a message on myspace. I didn't even read it. My account on myspace should be canceled within 48 hours. Then she wants to add me as a "friend" on windows live...I guess to "chat". I checked out her profile and she set hers to private...little does she know that I have seen her pictures. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Why would she do this?? I mean ok, you've got my WH...and this is 2008, I'm working on a brand new me. I will not allow petty stuff like that in my life.

I decided to go to school here. I start classes on Tues! I feel great, this is only the beginning.[/color]

[color:"purple"]ok, she doesn't want to seem to leave me alone. I haven't even attempted to call my WH since Dec.28 when I asked for his current address but didn't want to give it to me. I was really wanting it so I can make sure he's served w/child support papers. Told me, "I'm not leaving you jack." He thought it was going to be divorce papers.Told me to send all correspondence to his mom's address in another state.

OW has left me message on myspace, which I didn't read b/c I deleted my account. And wanted me to add her as a "friend" on windows Live. That which I did not respond to.

She set her profile to private AFTER she found my profile and now she is speaking out about her relationship w/my WH. Her status was single now it's married. I've read her comments on other people's pages and my WH is not the only one she calls "baby" or "sweetie" or even continues to have feelings for. It's like she WANTS me to see it. She WANTS me to continue to hurt.

I let my WH go and gave him to God. I'm at the point when I look back on the things that I've done to get his attention was not the reason why he has done this...like someone here mentioned he's been making decisions like this way before he met me. So I look back before I started to lie and see that he did not value me, he did not value what God gave him - a family. A wife who did not go out to clubs, bars, run around on him/cheat, did not flirt at work, did not even look or fantasize about other men. So right now my mind is preparing me for everything that God is going to do w/my life.

And it also does not help and is very disrespectful when my WH lets her answer the phone to give messages to him, instead of him!

I have another myspace page and was going to add pics, some blogs, etc. Should I even let my WH or any of his family members know I have one and tell them the website address?

So how do I get rid of her. Do I tell her to leave me alone...or better to not respond at all.[/color]

One of my friends is having her wedding ceremony this summer. So I'm planning to goback to the state where WH lives to attend the wedding. This is one of my friends that helped me get to and from work after D-Day and helped me take care of my son.

I don't have an intermediary that lives in the same city as he does.

Should I pass on a message that we will be there and he can see the kids if he wants to? My son will be 3 by then and my daughter 1 almost 1 years old.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't even bother b/c he may not even see them then that would make me angry and the fact that he hasn't even called ONCE to ask about them..

But then I feel like I'd be the bad guy for going there and not letting WH know our children are there.

MIL helped A LOT w/my son...should I let her know?

They're getting married in my home church, a place that is very significant for me and has helped me in my walk with God as a baby Christian...I also want both of my children to be christened there by my pastor and his wife.

I do not plan on seeing him face-to-face. At this point now that I've gone back to school, I am making a better life for me and my kids and have lost a lot of respect for WH.

But sometimes I feel like I don't want to let WH know b/c I don't want him to bring children around OW.

Need advice..

Photo album bumped for you. Enjoy!!

he is terrible, be done with him. Never marry a person with 4 or 5 marriages, and 10 or 12 children under thier belt.