Often it takes a big shock to turn men around. I have a lot of hope for your marriage. Hang in there.

Ok, brace yourself, here it comes...MAN THE HE11 UP TMTS!!! Now, I am female and actually have the urge to coddle you a little right now, EXCEPT that since I have been on the horrible wayward side, I KNOW without a doubt that you will lose a lot of ground and possibly even the marriage if you act even a little bit like this around your WW right now...NO, NO, NO...You ARE going to be STRONG, MASCULINE, PROUD, THE HERO...HER HERO-No Needy, No Clingy, No Wimpy...You ARE the BEST man for her...YOU ARE GOD'S PERFECT CHOICE FOR HER...NOW ACT FROM THAT...GO ON THAT ASSUMPTION...You will stand and fight and no matter what YOU WILL BE OKAY...For women, love is tied very much to RESPECT...YOU DA MAN, SO BE DA MAN!!! CONFIDENCE...It's there...dig deep for it...PRAY LIKE YOU'VE NEVER PRAYED BEFORE...God is on YOUR side TMTS...If God is for you, what do you have to worry about?

At Ease...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

She doesn't see it that way. It's too little too late in her mind, and I will never be able to meet what she needs. I could Plan A until pigs fly and she will still only see the emotionally repressed looser I've become. Her heart as already moved on, I can feel it and that is killing me slowly. She deserves to be happy, and deserves to find someone that will love her the way she deserves, not the [email]cr@p[/email] I've been showing her for the last few years.

Nope...Try again...

It is NEVER too late to do the right thing TMTS...That "too little too late" thing is standard WS stuff...Baloney...

I'm not coming to your pity party! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

You know what is HOT and DESIRABLE? A man that KNOWS he is a MAN...You are a man...You've made some mistakes, mistakes can be overcome...The man that stands and keeps trying is THE MAN...You ARE that MAN...

And you are one of the ULTIMATE men amongst men, because after all that your WW has done to try and crush you, you are willing to love her...forgive her...That is AMAZING GRACE at it's FINEST...That is who you are...That is awe inspiring TMTS...Be the man that you are...Stand nobly and proudly!

Now pick up your lip before you trip over it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Thanks Mrs. w. I need that right now. By no means do I ever show this to her. I keep it for when I'm alone. I guess if I have to let it go anywhere, I'd best do it here.

I know deep down that what you are saying is right, but sometimes that 14 year old pops up and he is scared. I'm somewhat ashamed to say that I'm 40 years old and still need some hand holding once in a while, and to be told that everything will be alright. I don't feel very manly right now, I feel more like a little kid waiting for his mom to come save the day. Sorry...

I understand...Remember that FEAR is NOT from God...One of my most favorite sayings is "Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is!"

Go to God with this fear TMTS...A big turning point I believe in our journey was once during the affair I walked in on Mr. W on his knees praying by our bedside...This is spirtual warfare and it is TOUGH, but with God you CAN handle it...Believe that...

Mrs. W

Thanks for saving me the lumber MrsW.

"Too little too late..." Deja moo...I've heard this bull before...

TYPICAL...Totally, purely and without a doubt TYPICAL WS bovine excrement...

PUH-LEASE!

So make her see differently. Change her mind. Prove her wrong...

(all together now)

Meet her ENs

Avoid Love Busters














_______(Fill in the blank)





TMTS, you've been doing so much so right for so many days and then to hear this...It breaks an old man's heart to hear this kind of self pity... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Cowboy up and Git'er done!

Mark

Ok Mrs. W. That one did it. It got a laugh out of me.
I'm glad I have this refuge to get me through these bouts of doubt and fear.



I did think of it that way, thanks.

I can feel the splinters, and it apreciated. I'm the type that needs just that kind of tough love to slap me back into the real world.

No Expectations!!! That's my mantra. I even use it for meditation. It shur beats Aum.

Sorry, man, I meant YOU! DUH!

Anyways, I was off on other threads, so I just came back to the healthy rounds of smackins from the crew! Please do NOT feel sorry for yourself right now in the manor that you aren't good enough for her! COME ON MAN! How many H's would be fighting this hard to fix themselves and their M's in the face of this adversity! You are MUCH stronger than you give yourself credit for TMTS. I can understand you feeling very sad about the betrayal and the energy that all this Plan A-ing must take on your soul, but "not good enough!" WHAT-EVERRRRR!!! STOP IT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> STOP IT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> STOP IT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Let it go...when you meditate, concentrate on the unconditional love that is given from above and the peace that it fills you with inside. Give it all up to HIM, man.

I used to sing a song in church when I was like 12-years-old. I thought of it the other day when I was thinking about all the sad stories and broken hearts on this site...here are the lyrics

Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?
And are you tired of spinning round and round?
Wrap up all the shattered dreams in your life
and at the feet of Jesus, lay them down...

Give them All, Give them all,
Give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys
Give them all, give them all,
Give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrow into joy

He never said there'd only be sunshine,
And He never said there's be no rain.
He only promised a heartful of singing
About the very things that once caused pain.

Give them all...etc

I still sing it to my little guys at bedtime sometimes. I can't hardly ever get through it without crying, though, because as simple as the song is, it holds so much meaning.

Anyways, hang in there buddy...

YOU ARE WORTHY OF ALL GOOD THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Lala, the smacking around got me out of my pity party. I think what really got me going is when you said you didn’t think she was going anywhere. I just can't see it not happening right now, the fact that you hold more hope that I do just got to me. Your right the constant no expectations thing does take it told. But I do still love her so like the 2x4 crew says... time to MAN THE HE!! UP.

I guess I just feel like if she were going somewhere, she'd have gone by now...ya know? She knows it's not LOGICAL. She is buying couches for a non-existant apartment that she cannot afford! She is telling her DDs that everything will be just dandy and even a THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD ISN'T BUYING IT!! Come on. That's what I look at...remember I was looking at apts online two days before I came here. I don't even have a job. How freakin ridiculous is that! I'm sure someday we'll be able to chuckle over that nonsense (but not yet, thank you very much). Still wayyy too embarassing. I am just trying to make a point.

I cannot, however, get into your wife's head. Maybe she's even farther gone than I was, who knows. It's just all so scarily typical, like reading a script from a movie. All us FWW (and WW) say the same crap, pull the same fog-filled fantasy ploys. But it is all built on sand, not rock. She'll figure it out. I just hope SOONER rather than LATER!!

Hey, have ya read tryingtoohard's thread. Wow-what a turn of events!!

Yes I did and I'm happy for him. Hopefully he can get her on here sometime soon to be able to talk to people like yourself. I know you wold be able to help her allot.

Wow, this has been an extremely busy day for you. How are you now?

Hi Queenie,

Thanks for checking in. I feel better after mark and Mrs. W. slapped me back into reality. I see your feeling better as weel. That is great.

We got to watch out, the vets are keeping tabs on us and getting us back on line pretty quick. (God love them all!!!)

Man, I coulda built a new house with all the 2X4 I've been using around here lately... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

You could have built a wing of that just on the ones you need for me. LOL

Much appreciated!

And one day it will be our turn. So we need to pay attention and learn all we can. G-d and the vets are counting on us.

We have work to do and good to create. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We're strong enough to take it, we have G-d holding us up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LOL, I go for a log cabin.