Well, things sure suck in H4Uland.

Last night WW asks what we're doing. I asked her what she wanted to do? WW says divorce. She wants it to be amicable, doesn't want the kids to know about the A, has talked to 2 lawyers and they tell her to work out some kind of equitable division of assets, wants us to all be friends afterwards, it has nothing to do with OM, I've never loved you, this is what I want, you always turn every conversation around to yourself, you always dominate every conversation, you're controlling, blah, blah, blah. I did take notice of her last 3 complaints as those could be reasons for the A. I told her that I understood she felt that way and I've been working on those things. I asked her if our kids were worth the effort to try and save the marriage and she said she just wanted a divorce and for us to not be enemies. I did start discussing the A with her and she said she knew it was wrong, she wished she had handled it differently, it was a mistake, (actually) apologized for the A, but said she can't go back in time. She then said she never realized how unhappy she was until we moved to our new location. I said it's funny how it took an A for you to realize you're unhappy. She still claims OM and her are over, but she still wants the divorce. I asked if you're over and our kids are as important to you as you say, shouldn't we at least try to make it work for their sake? WW says "I'm not going to try". Talk about a kick in the groin. There was a whole lot more, but that's the gist of it.

Talked to SH this morning. He wants me to steer WW towards separation, not divorce, then plan B. I told him I was emotionally exhausted and couldn't take it anymore. I told him I wasn't sure I even wanted the marriage to work. SH says "you're exactly where WW is" so can you see how she feels now? I guess that helped some. SH wants me to keep working on her investigating MB. I'll trust him on that one, but WW said last night she had looked at this website and thinks it's a bunch of crap and "those" feelings just aren't there for her, she doesn't want "those" feelings with me and she won't even try.

I talked to OMW and told her about the STD. She didn't even get upset. I was hoping OM and WW were still an item and this news would send him running, but I don't think it had it's affect as OMW said she didn't even know if she would mention it to OM. I wonder if OM had brought it home to her from one of his earlier A's and she's already infected? I guess I would have thought getting news that you've possibly been exposed to something like that would get a bigger reaction. OMW had sent OM an email asking that he finally tell her the truth because it didn't matter one bit in their relationship, were WW and OM still in contact? He replied, in quite an angry tone, that they are not talking, he hasn't seen her since before exposure day and it was over (one part I know is a lie as WW took off to see him a couple weeks after exposure. That's the day she exploded at me about my f'ing detective work). He then said (and here's a double kick in the groin) that he heard WW already has a new BF in our home town. Don't know whether to believe that or not.

I'm really lost. I just don't know what to do. I guess I'll try to get WW to agree to a separation and see if I can plan B her. Doesn't seem like I have much more of a chance with anything else. I just can't imagine someone doing something like this to their kids without even trying to make it work. She may be further gone that I imagined.

Follow Steve's advice. Work towards separation and start Plan B. What's the worst that could come out of it? A D? You're staring down that path right now anyway, however, if WW realizes that she wants to try, then who knows what might happen?

FWIW, I'm probably not too far behind you.

Thanks EOTS. I was just catching up on your story. Our situations sound very similiar. Doesn't matter if OM is out of the picture, WW is still doing D.

I just don't feel like any option here is good for me.

If we separate, I can afford our home for a while, but not forever. Selling it in the housing market now stinks. Probably won't be able to afford DS's college without student loans. I could ask for a transfer back to our hometown, but DS15 like's it here and that would mean him living with WW which means, CS & Alimony in addition to half my retirement.

If we D I'll have to live with the little STD present WW gave me early in our marriage. Won't that be fun telling possible future women? It didn't matter to me at the time as I knew I wasn't going to be with another woman for the rest of my life, so no big deal. NOW.....How do you get emotionally close to someone new knowing that when the time comes you'll have to tell them that fact and you can't blame them one bit if they get up and walk out the door.

Can't remember if I mentioned it in the earlier post, but I asked WW if she told OM that little tidbit before jumping in the sack with him and she said no. Tell me again why I want to make it work with her?

I can't tell you why you want to make it work with her. Only YOU can do that. You know in your heart which way you want to go, so follow it. However, if your heart is telling you to keep fighting, you're going to have to do it behind a Plan B, otherwise your heart will soon run out of reasons to keep fighting.

As I said earlier, I'm right behind you in my situation.

Do you want to read the lawsuit I filed against OM for spreading herpes to me via my WW? Her behavior has exposed you and your family to serious financial risk. It might be in your best interests to divorce her. IF OM contracts the disease, he could sue your W (and hence you while your assets are joined). If OM's W contracts it, so could she. It is very interesting that OMW was not that concerned. Perhaps they do already have it as well. You can only hope so.

You are exactly right, there are no good options for you right now. You have to decide what the best options are. I think it is time for you to start investigating protecting yourself. Since she seems determined to divorce, I think you should consider being proactive about it and at least mitigate the damage as much as possible. If divorce is going to be filed, I believe it is best if YOU file. Cite adultery if possible and try to get the kids in your temporary custody, get her out of the home then hit the brakes and drag it out as long as possible in the hopes that she'll come to her senses.

I'm in out of my league here, hopefully others more versed in D strategy will come with better advice.

Sorry H4U, the STD is a nice little trap isn't it? Know however that dating and relationships are possible even with HSV. It complicates things, but its not the end of the world.

H4U:

This is a change:

"Last night WW asks what we're doing."

She ASKED YOU.

That's big.

And then she asked that all the things we have been encouraging you to do:

Expose to Sons.
Expose the OM to the employer.
Tell her you WON"T "Be Friends"

Because all of this MAKES HER LOOK BAD.

And if you just GO ALONG with it, It makes HER FEEL better.

Screw that.

H4U says: "WW, What are YOU DOING?"

WHEN are YOU moving out?

CS will be paid to H4U, and It will take several years for this to be final.

I tell the kids the truth.
I will not go quietly.
Attorneys cost alot of money, but they are cheaper than living in this KIND of marriage.
These were YOUR choices to do this. And YOUR Choices to fix it.
EASING your pain, if YOU CHOOSE this PATH, is NOT in the cards.
IT will ONLY GET WORSE.

But, WW, if you:
Choose reconconciliation?
Choose NC?
Choose Family.

May mean short term pain, but long term gain.

WW, you have been changed by this experience, so have I. Neither of us can change the past, we can only affect the future. That future has TWO stark choices.

WHAT is YOUR CHOICE?

LG

Thanks guys, got a lot of thinking to do.

I like SH's idea of seeing if she'll go with a trial separation. Well, I don't like it, but it seems like it may be the best option. I'll just tell WW that we can try and save some money and do this without the lawyers for this trial period and see if she'll bite. Then plan B and make her do the filing if that's what she wants to do. During that time DS will be at home with me and maybe that'll bring her around. The only other thing that keeps going through my head is if this is going to end in D anyway, right now she seems to be willing to let me get away with more of my finances secure than if I make it difficult, so do I cut my loses right now?

I will tell the boys what's going on. SH recommended not telling them until she gets ready to move out.

LG, you make a lot of the same points that SH made. I just need to frame it in a way that she see's it as being in her best interest to try and make it work. Somehow I kind of believe OMW when she says she thinks it's over for WW and OM, but I wonder if WW thinks if she makes herself single that he'll come running? One other tidbit, OMW told me that in a couple years OM possibly could be moving back to our town to work. Does WW think if she starts D now that by the time he gets back she'll be single and away they go?

Need to think on the exposure to our company. Could be tricky. I may need to discuss with my boss to see what he thinks the best route is for that. He's on my side all the way through this so maybe I should talk with him. Thing is, if the A is over like OMW thinks it is, exposure to our work right now would mean nothing. If they're truly not talking anymore, there's nothing to expose.

I just don't want to go home. I'm not prepared right now.

I think if she brings it up again tonight that I'll take more of a hard line with her, but that may hurt the trial separation option. This just sucks so bad.

Hang in there, Hope. How about you not say anything for now..? If she is going though WD, she may need a little more time to separate herself from the A. And it doesn't matter what her motives are NOW, because they can change after a some more time in WD/NC. You may want to decide if a little more snooping is in order. Maybe a recorder in her car or something. Do you have a keylogger, I can't remember?

The thing is, you are very early in WD. She will be at her coldest/ugliest right now. Try to weather the storm. Try to co-exist and keep her around for a while longer if you possibly can. That's why Steve is saying these things. If she absolutely insists on a D, give the separation a try. But don't leave the home, Hope.

Do you have a good attorney? What is your plan? Once you get a solid plan together, you will feel more in control and less like you are just shooting into the dark.

PS- the OM/OMW almost definitely knew of the STD, or she would have freaked. I can't remember- if he did not give it to her, how did she contract it? (your post sounded like he possibly didn't know either..??)

Thanks LaLa, I'm not sure I understand your STD question, but I'll answer it the way I think it reads and if I'm wrong, repost and I'll try to answer.

OMW didn't tell me she has the STD. I was just guessing by her non-reaction to my telling her and her comment that "I don't really care if he gave it to me" that she may already have it. She said she probably wouldn't tell OM, but she hopes his d*** falls off. That made me think that maybe he had picked it up in one of his previous A's and passed it on to her, but that's just speculation.

I have thought about not saying anything more until she brings it up. Also thought about just saying to her tonight that I heard what she said last night, heard some of the issues she has with me, and I just need more time to think. I'm waffling back and forth whether to go in and start laying it out, like LG suggested (and kind of what SH said, just not so in your face about it, no offence LG) or just laying low for a few days or saying I need to think more.

Funny thing is, last night before she dropped the bomb on me she was as nice as she could be. Guess she's nice when she wants something from me and in WD mode when she doesn't.

H4U:

WHERE was your WW Saturday?

You don't have a clue.

You know that OM was not in contact with his family, and WW certainly acted like something was up.

So, OM was IN TOWN, Saturday. So exposure at work? Sure. Because this guy isn't backing off.

My OW called my BS when I finally told her it was OVER. Read my "'Curtains" thread.

She thought she could pop me out of my M by exposing me to Flamingo.

Didn't work.

Nor will WW "waiting" for OM to come save her if she Plan D's you.

She will be OLD NEWS by then.

I DO NOT recommend you stating: "I'll just tell WW that we can try and save some money and do this without the lawyers for this trial period"

That's a get out of jail free card.

Do it this WAY: "WW, you no longer WANT to be part of this family. You can leave the house, and that's your choice. But here is what happens"

Full Divorce, with no quarter given. And dragged out as long as possible.
Child support from you, and her also filling in the hole in the college budget for DS15.
Payment of half or 1/3 of the mortgage and real estate taxes on this house until DS 15 graduates from college in 9-10 years.
Sons will be TOLD, everything. She can pay for any couselling needed. From her FUNDS.
She moves her personal belongings OUT. Finds and PAYS for her own place.

Her CHOICE.

Stay. or GO.

Not: "I'll just tell WW that we can try and save some money and do this without the lawyers for this trial period."

Because, H4U? This isn't about the MONEY. It might be for you. You talk alot about losing the equity in your home, and the risk to the childrens college fund, the splitting of your retirement fund. It isn't about that for HER.

Her knight in shining armour might SAVE her once she is divorced.
Her Knight who has put away his sword for right now, is just waiting until he can come back and get her.

This knight, is OM.

Your the real KNIGHT here. You are FIGHTING for the right things.

By you stating that you are willing to spend whatever it takes to get her back.
That you are willing to sacrifice for your LOVE for her and YOUR family.
That WHATEVER OM is willing to do, your willing to go one step farther, one buck more.....

Is what SHE needs to see.

And when you say: "I'll just tell WW that we can try and save some money and do this without the lawyers for this trial period"

Your just saying quite plainly that a couple thousand in legal fees is worth her walking out the door.

Time to start making those lines in the sand.

Saturday night, YOU slept like a Baby.

What do you think WW did?

You pulled out your sword. Drove it in the ground in front of her, and said: IT STOPS HERE.

And she knows it.

Do not give up that advantage.

LG

I would say nothing until she brings it up...then stall some more. But the key here is: you have only one advantage-the OMW. But there needs to be more intel. You need to know for SURE what you are dealing with, ya know...if it is WD or something more sinister (like the A going way underground).

The question about the STD...I think I was the one who was confused! I was asking if the OM had given it to your WW, because I had always assumed he HAD...but then in your post above, I thought I was reading that he wasn't the one who gave it to her, and well, NEVERMIND! I got it, now...sorry! DUH!

The most important thing in all of this WITHOUT A DOUBT is that you need a solid plan for each choice she may make: the first choice (if you are still determined to fight for your M) will be keeping her there while doing the best Plan A she'll allow right now. This includes SPYING to see if the A is really over or if it has gone farther underground. YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH, Hope! If she is determined to leave, have a very sound, logical PLANNED speech for her to convince her that LSA is the way to go for now. We can help you with that. If she insists on going straight to Plan D (moves out)...keep Plan A-ing for a couple weeks and then very dark Plan B.

Stick around and let's hash this all out tonight so you feel more empowered to move forward with your head up and your dignity in tact. You need some support to continue fighting!! Unless you have decided to walk away, and if that is the case-we're here for you also!

Exactly...but Hope you have to spy. She was with him Saturday (and last Friday or whenever her "shopping" trip was), I would lay money on it (if I had any!). SO...she is NOT in WD. More exposure, more pressure on OM to leave her alone while stalling her D and separation talks are in order...FIRST AND FOREMOST! Once again-you HAVE to know what you are dealing with right now!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks LG. I appreciate your comments as always. Just trying to reconcile what you're saying with what SH is saying.

I've got a lot to think about. I think for tonight I'll just tell her that I heard what she had said last night and I've got a lot to think about so I'll talk to her again about it soon.

H4U:

I don't ever want to contradict what SH is saying.

He gets to talk with you, and he's a professional.

I'm a guy on the other end of a screen.

When you think about stuff, you tend to say it. That's what happened SAturday night.

You finally got to SAY the stuff you have ben thinking.

You keep thinking along the lines that SH has recommended, and you keep dealing with WW, you will be ready with the above when it is needed.

This arrow is in your quiver, ready to fire.

SH arrow is loaded in your bow.
LG's Plan: "Make a choice!" is in your quiver.
Plan FU is ready when it becomes Hand to Hand combat.

That's the effect I was searching for.

SH can soft-pedal this stuff and guide you, cuz he's the professional and he gets to talk to you.

I just want you ready. Your WW doesn't like it when you get rough with her. And plan "MAC" is getting rough with her.

LG

Thanks for the replies everyone. I was out of town for the weekend and something may have changed, maybe not, we'll have to see.

I'll start at last Tues. Like I said earlier, last Tue night WW asked for a D. Wants it to be "nice". I told her I'd need to think about what was best for me and our kids as I was the only one thinking of them in this mess.

Wed when I got home from work I tried to tell WW that I had heard what she said the night before but I needed to think about it because it was the biggest decision of our lives and I don't want to make it without thinking it through. She turned around and walked away from me mid sentence. WW spent the whole night in the bedroom.

Thurs I went and spent the day with my brother. When I got home late I asked her if she had talked to our DS19? She said (fairly sarcastically) "not lately". I told her I had talked to him as he wanted to go visit his GF at her college this weekend, but with the bad weather in the Midwest I told him I would come pick him up, drive him up there and then spend the weekend with my brother before coming home Sun night. WW didn't acknowledge me.

Fri I take off to go pick up DS19 and take him to his GF's school. While I'm driving OMW TM's me and asks me to call her, so I did. Seems OM got into their cell website and was ripping on her for being in contact with me. OMW told him he didn't need to go to all that trouble, all he had to do was ask and she would have told him we were talking. OM asked her why she needed to talk to me and OMW said "because he listens to me". They then got into it about WW and OM still talking. OM told OMW "I'm not talking to her, I don't care what that bit*h says". OMW said it went on for a bit more and then she told OM that WW has an STD and if he brought it back to her she would have his nu*s on a string! She then told him that he'll have the divorce papers by the end of the month.

OMW said at that point, for the rest of the weekend, OM's whole attitude changed. He's been doing everything he can, including apologizing for everything, to try to get her to not divorce him. He even said he didn't care if OMW and I talked because he has nothing to hide.

I got home Sunday night and WW didn't say a single word to me. I had received a TM from DS19's GF thanking me for all the driving so they could spend the weekend together and she appreciated the support WW and I have shown their relationship. I showed WW the text and you'd have thought I was the devil. I also had a really nice conversation with DS on the way back to his school yesterday about speaking the truth even if it hurts, that the truth is always the best policy, etc. He agreed with me 100%, so I'm in good shape with him when it comes time to tell him what's going on.

Funny thing is, it seems like something has happened with WW and OM's A. Why is WW so angry with me? Did she call OM on Wed and tell him she had asked me for a divorce so they could be together soon and he rebuffed her? I would imagine after OM got word about WW's STD that he would have called her and ripped her, so is her anger/not speaking to me the beginning of WD?

No expectations. I'm not counting on any of this. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to separate, but I'm going to take my time about it. If it is WD as she finally realizes the A is over she may begin to come around. Again, not counting on it, but I'm going to give it some time without mentioning any separation. If she brings it up I'm going to tell her I can't be a party to a D I don't believe is in the best interest of anyone involved, but if that's what she wants to do I can't stop her. I'll also mention that the things she brought up last week as complaints about me I understand her feelings and I think those things are fixable and not a reason to pitch everything without trying and see what she says.

This weekend really recharged my batteries, and DS15 and I are going away for another long weekend in a couple weeks so I think I can manage her attitude for a little longer before I go nuts. That will give me some time to see if she begins to defog. If not we'll cross the separation bridge towards the end of the month.

H4U:

Do you know that I can hang around and read and not POST, and then I read your Thread and just have to jump on.

Why is that?

Any ideas, H4U?

Have you ever heard of the expression snatching defeat from the jaws of victory?

Careful, man, you just might do it.

First: You conversation with DS19. HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE TRUTH. And you dodged it. He knows something is up. He talks with his brother, and he KNOWS something is up. He pitched you a softball, and you whiffed.

Please, don't miss an opportunity to tell the truth to your children, especially when they are sniffing around for it. I do not want to disagree with SH and his advice on layered exposure, but when your kid is looking, help them find the truth......

Second: Do you think that OM contacted WW on Wednesday? Do you have proof? What does your monitoring indicate? It not critical. Just don't assume.

Third: Remember WHERE your WW is right NOW. She is lost in the dark forest, and everyone seems to be abandoning her. You, and OM.

-IF she asks you about Divorce, you simply state "I do marriage, my attorney, Joe Ripyouanewone, does Divorce" And then let her go. You become a beacon home to her from the dark forest. Don't waffle. STATE it.

-Your Plan A is weak. You have GOT to find out WHAT Emotional Needs she really has. YOu can do laundry and straighten the house and work long hours every day, but you ain't hitting the mark. That I think is one of your weak links to this processs, to date.

-OM didn't respond well to her declaration that "I announced plans for a Divorce" from H4U. So, he skedaddled. OMW is telling you HOW he is acting. THAT will get back to WW as well. That's where she is really feeling abandoned.

Look where her choices have gotten her to. Losing OM, and YOU as well. Because you haven't told HER that you ready to fight Tooth and nail for her. (well maybe you have, but not recently) Having to face the reality of those decisions.. THAT's the DARK Forest.

I faced that dark forest. I realized that the most likely result of having a affair is that I WOULD lose both people. But when BS found this site and introduced me to it, it showed us both the way out of the forest. We were in differnet parts of the forest, but we both needed a compass.

Please make it possible for her to see your beacon. You seem way to reserved around her. That's my opinion. She thinks there is NO WAY BACK. You need to make sure she KNOWS there is a way back.

Seperation can come. Plan B can come. But you have GOT to do a bang up Plan A until then.

When was the last time YOU knocked on her bedroom door?

LG

Thanks LG, I was hoping for your comments.

Let me see....DS19 has no clue. DS15 doesn't talk about stuff....might next weekend when he goes to little sibs weekend at college, but again, DS19 has no idea. Our conversation came up from a totally different direction and I steered it towards the truth etc.

WW contacting OM on Wed an assumption...yes...

I'm pretty sure what her EN's are, but if one is conversation and she won't talk to me period, I have to try and meet her other needs that she will let me.

Part of my speech if she brings up D again will be I won't participate in that as I don't think it's in anyone's best interest and if she wants to file I can't stop her, but I'm not giving up even if she files.

I don't know if I'm too reserved around her or not. I try to engage her but she just won't talk to me any more than one word answers (and I'm not even getting those the last week). I've told her every time we've had any kind of discussion the last two months that I understand there were problems that I didn't know about in our marriage, but I'm committed to working on them so we're both happy, but I get the foggy response "I've never had those feelings for you so how can I get them back?"

I hear what you are saying and I'm trying my best, but it's hard to meet a conversation EN when she won't even respond in any way.

H4U:

You think your children DON'T have a clue?

You DON'T think the don't see something wrong?

Mom being away for weekends, and sleeping in other rooms, and they Don't notice?

Please.

They KNOW SOMETHINGS up.

They just do not know the TRUTH.

Never thought that your own son could steer you to a direction that YOU thought you were in control of?

DS19 and DS15 don't talk? Ever? To YOU? To each other?

I have terrific relationship with my 15 year old. But would he confide in me that he thinks his mother is having an A? Not in a million years....

What if he was wrong? He would feel terrible for doubting his mother.
What if it was HIM that was at fault? He made BOTH of you mad, and now because he upset her so bad, she is sleeping in the other room.
WHat if they think IT is YOU that is having the Affair? Imagine that!

That's why you need to bring DS15 and your WW out. Get them BOTH together with YOU.

So that you and WW can interact. So that DS CAN loosen her up some.

So that WW and you can maybe get to a less frosty place.

LG

Thanks LG. I never said DS15 doesn't know something is up. I'm sure he has a pretty good idea what is going on, but he won't talk about it with me. I've tried a number of times, but SH has advised me to not tell him unless he specifically asks.

DS19 really doesn't have a clue. He hasn't been home more than 5-6 nights in the last year. When he's off school he's in our hometown with his GF. When we went on vacation in Nov, WW slept in bed with me (of course she was hugging the edge of this massive king sized bed).

Have DS's talked? I really doubt it. They are completely different kinds of kids and while they do talk about some stuff, it's mostly music. DS15 is a complete conflict avoider. Exposure night I tried to talk to him about it and he just kept saying, "it's not my business". That's the way he is. If DS19 had a clue what was going on, he would talk to me. And WW definitely won't say anything to him because she doesn't want him to find out anything about the A.

I've tried to get DS15 and WW to go out, but since exposure day WW refuses. On my birthday a couple of weeks ago she went out with us but told me "I only did it for DS15". I thought we had a good time while we were out and I know DS15 enjoyed it. But WW avoids that like the plague.

I hear what you are saying, and I've wanted to tell them for a long time, but on SH's advise I haven't. It's his opinion that if you can avoid telling the kids it will help in recovery if we get there. I agree. WW still resents me for telling OMW and that was almost 3 months ago. If I told the kids now I'm not sure she would ever forgive me. And if OM blew her off last Wed like I suspect, telling the kids now if they don't ask would be a mistake in my opinion.

Don't get me wrong, if they ask, I will tell them. And if we separate or WW says she's moving out, I will tell them.

I just get the sneaking suspision that WW telling me she wanted a D was a last attempt to get OM to come running back and if he rebuffed her she's now in that "dark place" you described where she's lost OM and could lose me too. Maybe I'm wrong, but if things had gone the way she wanted them to, why hasn't she mentioned the D again since Tues?

No expectations. I'm fully prepared for her to say to me "what have you decided about the D?" I'm then going to tell her what I mentioned before, I don't do D, can't stop you if that's what you want to do, but I'm going to keep fighting with everything I have until the ink is dry as the issues you have with me that led to the A are fixable and we can be extremely happy and in love once again.

We'll see what happens. Thanks again for your post. You keep me thinking and grounded, which I'll always remember.

Well, that didn't take long to get my answer. This morning WW emails me a financial disclosure form from a lawyer and tells me to fill it out for her.

Uhhhhh....I don't think so. So I guess she's serious about wanting a divorce, or at least she thinks she is.

So tonight when I get home I'm going to tell her I'm not filling anything out without talking to a lawyer first. We can then let the lawyers fight the divorce fight and I'll only talk to her about restoring our marriage. If she thinks this is going to be civil so it's easier on her after the way she has disrespected me the last year, well she can forget it. I will do whatever I need to do to protect myself and my kids.

So now I'm trying to figure out when to tell my kids. Should I do it with them together or separate? Together makes things a little more difficult with DS19 being away at college. Maybe I'll leave work a little early tomorrow, go home and get DS15 and drive down to DS19's school and tell them. I'm sure WW wanting to spin her story to the kids is the reason she plans on taking the afternoon off on Friday and take DS15 for little sibs weekend. I just have to make sure I beat her to the punch.

Wish me luck.