(edited for negative content by Miss M)

I see all these people who need the "wise ones" and you are all off arguing over trolls and who said what and how you should be when there are some really hurtin' people who need
you!!!!!

Don't make me start posting!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Well, maybe I should and then you could yell at me!!!LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Enough already!

Love in Christ,
Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hey, you get your hiney over there and start reading that novel! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Where ya running off to??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

Hi Miss M,

I'm a progressing Newbie/Rookie who saw a need for success stories to give devastated Newbies support and hope. I pasted your update post to the thread but would appreciate your posting (or linking) the rest of the story you promised there.

Thank you,

Ace

P.S. As an '07 MB registrant, I continue to pray that many other MB vets who have benefited from MB when the boards were different will return to at least post their success stories. Many say the boards are 'hurting' but this is all we '07 folks have known and we're still plugging along. Your stories would be soooooo helpful. Again, thanks.

Miss M,

We love your posting support. U know this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

All that other stuff cluttering up the boards is bothering too! Yet when I bring it up, I get accused of creating more trouble. Sigh..... oh well.... back to the board. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for helping us get back on track. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

L.

Yes, Miss M, get your teflon jumpsuit on and start posting. I realize you have a new and very challenging job, but it needs to be put on the back burner, where it belongs. Priorities, Miss M, priorities.

BTW, I haven't been doing anything with no wild turkeys! "Grousing"... too funny! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hmmm...This isn't "grousing" I hear is it? Or a thread started to cause "grousing"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Hi and welcome back,

I've been here off and on for years, plus I've been posting here pretty regularly for the past few months.

From what I've observed lately, the regulars ARE posting to the newcomers to help them. I personally have spent more time than I usually do the past couple of weeks just so I can help counter the trolling while not neglecting those genuinely seeking help here. I make it a point to go to check up on newcomers and certain posters I've already been engaged with. Usually there are lots of messages in their threads from the regulars and we're just waiting for them to return to their threads themselves. It's not as if one thing has to be totally censored or ignored in order to attend to the other... If you believed that you'd be neglecting newcomers to start this thread.

Also there there has been a drastic increase in newcomers lately. Really I don't remember this place ever having this many newcomers at once before.

Some of the newcomers stick around and start applying the principles after describing their situations to us - you know the normal thing to do.

Others post asking for help, which they do get, but then they suspiciously, almost immediately, and falsely state that NOBODY has responded to them and/or the ONLY one who has responded to them is one of the trolls camping out here...

Also, there have been a lot of people coming here to post that refuse to tell us anything about themselves or their situation so that of course makes it both difficult to even offer them some specific support or advice plus is sort of suspect considering the volume of troll traffic we've been having lately. And anyway, it just plain old doesn't even make any sense because how can we help them, or trust them to claim they are the best advisor's to help newcomers, if they refuse to post any info about their own experience, why they came here, where they get their info from, etc.

And last but not least, we've recently endured the presence of a poster who was very hostile and frustrating. She was over at the Divorce/Dating board telling everyone there that they are adulterers if they've had premarital sex and that if they marry somebody they've had premarital sex with their marriage won't be valid and they are adulterers...

Then she came to this GQ board and stated her goal was to win back her WH from the OW whom he had married with this method: loitering at her local McD's until he showed up and then seducing him into having sex with her! Those of us who tried to talk to her about that adulterous agenda were accused of 'abusing' and of doing Satan's work!

THEN it was revealed that the man she referred to as HER XH was never even married to her. He was somebody a friend who had a vision told her was 'the one'... and God supposedly had also given her permission to pursue even though he already was in a 13 year long relationship with his girlfriend. AND years ago he had told her he wasn't interested in her and would not break up with his girlfriend. Then when he married his girlfriend she pretended to herself (and to the posters here) that he was her WH and that his wife was the OW, because they had premarital sex and that rendered their marriage not valid!

Then some posters who weren't yet aware of what she was up to, or the nasty things she'd posted to the regulars here who were trying to help her, started defending her...

Hey, you asked...

BTW, MOST of the new threads about the problems 'cluttering' up the board lately have been started by people who are objecting to the discussion they are themselves starting a new thead about. Maybe it would be better for those who don't want any more threads started about this to just go back and read the existing threads about what happened here. Of course because quite a bit of the evidence has been destroyed already by deletions, unless you were here you can't fully grasp just how bizarrely and badly the trolls were behaving... Or maybe instead of starting a new thread about something you feel is cluttering you could just ignore this issue altogether and go post exculsively to newcomers instead?

Hey all!!

Thanks for the responses.

ML: MY hiney had already been over there, read that novel, and responded! pfft! And then I had to run off to do some more work at my JOB. Good to hear from you!

Ace: I know you want me to post my story. I really never posted all that happened and recovery, it is in bits and pieces all over GQ. I will really think about posting it on the success story thread, but it will take some time, effort and a lot of triggers to get it down. Please be patient with me, I have been gone a long time from this board and am just starting to post again, and I am a bit reluctant to post most times.

Orchid: you know I think yourself and all who answered my thread have been of tremendous help to the board, I just can't stand to see conflict, and I felt the focus was turning away from those who are hurting.

Josie: Geez, I have to get a new teflon suit? I wore my last one out on GQ!!!!LOL!!! And I am bad, I can only post at work right now. Thank you for your support that I should start posting again!

Mrs W.: You are very valuable here, I have read your, and Mr. W's posts for awhile, and you are both awesome, and no, I am not known to grouse or start a grousing thread. Just want to see these new and hurting folks get more attention than the troublemakers. Thank you for being here and for your wisdom.

Meremortal: Thank you for filling me in on that poster, I knew something was wrong, but missed a lot of it because, frankly I tend to ignore that stuff, or if it really bugs me I report it to the mods and let them deal with it. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to deal with a potentially harmful situation.

My wish is to see this board more united, it is upsetting to see our most valuable posters and vets quibbling about stuff.

My best to all of you, and keep fighting the GOOD fight.

God Bless,
Love in Christ,
Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

hugz to you too Orchid!!!!

And by the way. . .

[color:"red"]MELEEKALEEKAMAKA!!!!! [/color]


[color:"black"] [/color] Aloha, beautiful flower, may your new year be peaceful and joyous!

Love in Christ,
Miss M
PS. I hope I spelled that right, I was 5 YO when my babysitter taught it to me!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I just want to thank ALL of you vets out there who have been posting on here for so long, your help has been invaluable, and guided many hurting people, as I once was, on the road to recovery.

All of us are different, some are Warriors (Mel, MEDC <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />), some are Cheerleaders (myself, Ace, Josie <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />), some are ComputerHeads (dot the i"s, cross the t's, FH and 2long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />), and some of us are Lambs (believer, Orchid <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />), just to name a few.

Everyone here has value, and WORTH, we may not have the same styles, and no one is right all the time, but all you vets are great!!!! There are so many helpful people here that I couldn't begin to name them all.

Thank you so much, everyone for all your efforts to help people thru the hardest, most heartbreaking and lifechanging events in their lives.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

God Bless Everyone!
Love in Christ,
Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

And merry Christmas to you Miss M. Thank you for recognizing the value of all of us and encouraging people to contribute to a forum that does a great and honorable service to marriage.

Where would any of us be wihout it?

((((((((((hugs and kudos))))))))))))

Merry Christmas Miss M

Why thank you star*fish and Mr.Kahuna!!

Both of you are STELLAR posters!!! You both help so many here. Your posts are awesome. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Thank you so much for your presence on this board.

Love in Christ,
Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Can anyone think of someone they would like to thank or compliment?

Let me think, RIF comes to mind, he has really been a rock around here! Thanks RIF <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Meremortal, you have a lot of wisdom, and a good take on who people are. Kudos to you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

There's two more, I'll think of more later!!!

I'll be baaaaack! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Thanks, MissM! I agree the diversity of the forum is what makes it GREAT! Merry Christmas to you too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

There are so many.....

I am so grateful to all of them.

I remember on Christmas eve last year when I had an emotional crisis and MelodyLane and Believer and several others jumped right on it. Because of their input, it saved my Christmas from being completely disasterous for me. Thanks again you guys.

I highly admire Mrs. Wondering. I think she is a model FWS.

And I will follow just about all of Meremortal's post. That woman has been married to my H I swear.....lol.....She DOES have a ton of insight that is right on the money.

Medc is controversial around here but I like him. He shoots straight from the hip. He stands up for what he believes in. I think he'll make a great husband again one day.

WhoMe has always been there for me. Ace is a trooper. BigK tells it to me straight.

Rif and Bitbucket and several others stood up for truth with me just last night and I can't thank them enough for that.

All of my recovery board friends were awesome and I miss them actually.

Mulan helped me tremendously identifying emotional behaviors that were destroying our marriage. She posted several times in my defense. So did many others.

Gosh I feel bad because I know there are others. Basically, anyone and everyone who ever posted to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely.
.

Oh, and I remember Orchid being so sweet and helpful to me too. I remember seeing her as angel like on this one particular thread of mine. I think she has a huge heart.

Oh yes!!!! Thanks for your imput mopey!! Best of luck to you!

Mr and Mrs Wondering are AWESOME!!! Thank you both so much for your wisdom! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And we can't forget Bob Pure!!! Another very, very wise fellow!!! Squid is SO fortunate!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, and TOP ROPE!!!! Thank you sir, for your longevity on this board, your encouragement to others and your honesty!!!

Thanks folks, you are the best!!

Love in Christ,
Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Miss M.....thanks for starting this thread. I am so new I hesitated to name specific names on the thread I started to THANK MB VETERANS. So I'm glad we can get personal over here, even if I risk forgetting someone. Maybe I'll just apologize in advance. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

BTW, a newbie My1stlove asked to see Believer's story on the Success Stories thread. Does anyone know where it is?

I have two thoughts when I see newbies asking for hope via poster's successes:

1) Could all MB Veterans (those who have recovered personally from a D or those with recoverED M's who are posting advice out of love, concern and gratitude) post at least a condensed version of their successes on the Success Story thread? This could be personal or marital or both.

2) Could all MB Veterans link their success stories to their sig line? It could serve two purposes~~~> posters (especially newbies) could immediately see the perspective from which the advice is being offered...and there's another reason but I won't mention it here since this is a "happy place" thread. (Check my Smiles & Trials 2 recovery thread later).

My early days heroes may have been mentioned already but some of them are JL and LA and FH and Mates and LG and Mel and Pep and RIF and BK and Josie and Mark and LH and Bob P and MAZ and TR and Orchid and Believer and M/MWons and Mimi and Chrisner.....in fact Chris' early Newbie posts (and how well he was received~~~especially by Star) was one of the reasons I registered initially. Artor answered my first post after 12 hours of goose-eggs on the Saturday of the MLK holiday weekend just this past January. I was ready to shut down my computer and give up on MB when I decided to check for a response one more time about 2 AM (after I had posted around 3 PM that day).

Recently other MB posters (some vets, some not) have helped me on several threads....like PM and BR and TA and Froz and Myshae and Mopey and Mulan and Noodle and many others I'll mention later. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I also want to mention my other heroes, especially those hangin' out on the 20-90 Something Vacation thread (everyone is invited to take a break at anytime) like Chrys and mvg and LC and Who and Cinders and Rock and DF and Fled and Chai and MF and Saturn and Mark and Flyrec and AM and especially nightshift guy RIF and his new (to that thread) sidekick BK...and I could go on and on. Who'd I forget? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Anyone posting a success story linked to their sig line is my NEW hero!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

As for the newbies who are my heroes after I tried to bump their threads and pray for them....SMB (tst), and Mishes, and Marriedfor30+yrs (she's up to 31 now!!!) and others I've blanked out for the moment....sorry. I've been stalking Reprobate Mind, who, like JL wandered over to MB without having experienced infidelity, but hasn't posted for a few months now......anyhow, RM was very helpful when MF30 was struggling with her professor WH...and we both want to tell him how well she's doing.....so I hope he/you are lurking RM. And Charlotte is my new Newbie hero cuz she posts all the time and always responds to EVERYONE who posts to her thread....in spite of her present pain. WE are all here for her/you Charlotte as you Plan B Mr. Gray.....we're rooting for you from our RoseBowl-sized (sold out) bleachers! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

OH YEAH....I mentioned on the THANK YOU VETS thread that I made up a new term and acronym to describe us 'tweeners' (between newbie/rookie and MB VET).....how 'bout calling us (Mark and PM and maybe even me) Veteran In Training or MB VIT? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

It really didn't matter to me until I got challenged for calling myself a Newbie.....I've only been here 11 months and thought I might be promoted after my 1 year anniversary of my reg. date. Promoted to what????? Not MB VET, that's for sure. But I guess I'm not a Newbie compared to the newly arrived posters. So that's my suggestion for my identity crisis.....if one is needed...maybe not. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Along that thought, SMB started a thread about Newbie's posting to Newbies. OOOOOopsss, I can't share my 2 cents about that cuz this is a 'Happy Place' thread, but I will when I post my most recent trial on my Smiles & Trials 2 recovery thread.

Again, thanks Miss M for this positive thread! And if anyone feels left out....make your carbon print known (and forgive me for blanking on your name as I listed from the top of my head in a groggy early morning state). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Ace