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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 90
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2007
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I have been separated from my now ex wife for about 6-7 months and now I’m officially divorced. During that time I met a wonderful woman who is also separated from her husband but now I’m divorce and she still is married. We both have fallen in love but her situation is more complicated than mine (wife cheated on me). She has a 3 year old son that is involved and we also live hundreds of miles away from each other. She doesn’t want to be with him but she doesn’t want her son to be without his dad. What should I do????
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,345
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When did you meet the wonderful woman? Was she separated when you met her? How did you meet someone who is hundreds of miles away while both of you were still married? How is her situation more complicated than yours? In general, I suspect that your wonderful friend is a rebound, and with her being married and hundreds of miles away, it's a nonstarter. I'd say let her go, spend some time alone, then start dating soimeone local <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. AGG
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Joined: Jul 2001
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I know AGG's advice wasn't what you wanted to hear, but I agree. Long distance romances are difficult and the risk-level is high. Basically, you either have to break up with her, date her long distance forever, or move to her area.
Since she isn't divorced yet, and it could be a couple more years depending, I'd say moving isn't a great idea. The risk is too high.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Joined: May 2007
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Here's another reply you don't want to read but I'm saying it anyway. If she is still with her husband, chances are he doesn't know about your affair. Yes, you are involved in an adulterous relationship. You only have to read 1 or 2 threads in the General Questions forum to know the extent of pain and damage you are about to cause this family, if you haven't already. Be the bigger man and gracefully bow out of this tragedy.
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Joined: May 2000
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You should spend some time recovering and, then, find an unattached woman.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 90
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 90 |
I met her while at a family member wedding. I dated and seen other people but I can't stop thinking about this one. I want to move on and find someone local but I find myself going back to her.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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You need to change your opinion of it. ANY relationship with a person who doesn't have that divorce decree is asking for trouble. For one, her H could use it against her. For two, she might change her mind and go back. For three, she could be using you. For four, if it goes further, one of you will have to give up your lives for the other, which will create a whole NEW set of problems and possible issues for your relationship. For five, I wouldn't trust dating ANY divorced person - including you - if that person hasn't (1) been divorced for at least a year (no rebound dating here) and (2) gone through intensive counseling to find out what that person contributed to the demise of his/her M (so that it doesn't happen to me, too).
You need to be working on YOU, not finding a companion to make yourself feel good.
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Joined: Nov 2000
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I met her while at a family member wedding. I dated and seen other people but I can't stop thinking about this one. Well how many times have you seen her since that time? And how do you know that her hubby is not desperately trying to save their marriage, which would make you the OM? AGG
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 90
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 90 |
I know because before I met her, he wanted me to go out with him to be his "wing man" this is before I knew they were married. He doesn't live at the house, I know what I'm doing is wrong but I can't stop thinking about her...the ****** is wrong with me.
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