Thanks Maggie for posting this, very important stuff.

Maggie:
I was unaware that there is a blood test for HPV; I thought the only way was by Pap smear. Do you have more information about that?

Thanks...
~Saturn

Hey Saturn, I am not a dr. (I dont even play one on tv!) but here is my understanding of HPV testing:

HPV blood test: checks for presence of the virus and identifies which strain you have so you can make decisions with your doctor about cancer prevention.

Pap smear: does not check for ANY diseases, only checks for abnormal cells. If you have abnormal cells, they may test those for hpv.

The problem with relying on a pap smear for an hpv test, is that you will only find out AFTER damage has occured. If your pap doesn't find abnormal cells, you could still have hpv, and should work with your doctor to identify risks.

Thanks Maggie!

I'm a doctor but I've never been on TV <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm a research scientist specializing in infectious disease (not a physician). I had never heard of a blood test so I was confused... thanks for clarifying!

The HPV test you describe is done with the same cells as the Pap smear; it's actually not a blood test. But a recent study showed the HPV test was much better at predicting cancer than Pap... so I think it will be routine soon. It also has the advantage of typing the HPV strain (there are dozens, but only a few lead to cancer- it will help prevent needless panic in many women).

I'll put the link here in case people are interested. I think HPV testing will replace Pap in the near future; but unfortunately we'll still have to assume "the position" to give that sample <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

HPV test is better than Pap

Although it is very necessary .......

It can also be VERY Embarrassing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

In my case:
About a month post d-day I had gotten pneumonia due to NOT eating, sleeping, extremely stressed, ect.

In the course of getting my examination at the Dr's office,
I told him I also needed to get an HIV test.

He looks at me and says whys that???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> :
[after a blank moment of how to say this stuff]
Well,
as I told him I'd just found out my WW had been having at least a 2 yr sexual affair with her supervisor and that the CLB was also cheating with OTHER woman, and still having sex with his W ....you should have seen how fast he just agreed and wanted me to shut up and leave. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hey sorry doc,
it ain't something I really want to be divulging ......but once you ASK .......and in the both physical (sick) and emotional state I'm in .......well, guess what ?.........Once I get past the humiliation of the first few words, its gonna kind of come running out like a faucet.{shrugs shoulders}

However,
HE got me back on the prostate exam a few months later.
Oouuuuch! "Can ya pull back to maybe just the wrist"?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />Sheeesh
So now we're even ......or maybe he still Owes me a little. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

And yes,
get all the tests you can , as others have mentioned.
MY W's gyno had her take a more complete battery then my red faced doc did for me.
But since she came back negative for all,
I just guessed I probably was OK too.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

oh, saturn - I guess I was wrong, then. Thank you for clarifying. I got so many things done, I probably got confused about how they tested for strains, etc. I really thought they said it was a blood test.

I will go and edit my first post to reflect this, if you will please clarify the following is correct:

To test for HPV, you will need to get a pap done, but ask the doctor to specifically test the smear for HPV.

Is this the correct advice?

Awww, top rope. Thanks for sharing.

My AP was actually...gay (obviously I didn't know during the A). My doctor is SO professional, but the nurse practitioner's eyes just about left her head.

*sings* my A was gay, my A was gay...

maggie - i'm all about injecting inappropriate humor into tense situations - magster

Hi maggie-

You did awesome! Thank you for putting all the information together for us.

Believer,

To answer your question...picture the WS forehead deep in fantasy...where nothing bad will ever happen with their imaginary soulmate...where it's all lightness, relief and illusion...

A condom would have a lot of reality in it, wouldn't it? Might get pregnant...have STD's...which would cast a reality shadow on the fantasy.

I didn't think of using one...and feared greatly about STD's...got checked out afterwards even before the fog lifted.

Also, waywards predominantly don't self-love and care for themselves in healthy ways...they are filling up through others externally. Guess STDs or pregnancy would just be a more concrete consequence from it.

I love this thread because of the reality it brings...anyone can get an STD from an A. Odds are high that you aren't dealing with someone who's exclusive...just should be excluded from your marriage. When you widen that interaction by one, you're really widening it by hundreds, factorally, I think.

LA

Exactly, maggie. My FWW told me that they used condoms. Like it was supposed to comfort me somehow. Like I was supposed to pat her on the back or something.
COndoms are not 100% effective against STDs.

It seems so good to hear a FWW who really "gets it".
maggie, you rock.

rock....



YOU ROCK, too!

(Edited to add:

I see SaturnRising already posted this, but I am leaving my info because I couldn't access her link w/o a subscription to NEJM.)

The HPV test in not a blood test. Here is info on it.

HPV test

It's similar to a pap, IOW the sample is collected the same way it is just tested differently.

A MAJOR fear of catching a STD is the reason my FOM and I never crossed that line.

I know my sexual history and thanks to his SIL (my best friend at the time) I knew a lot of his. She wasn't aware of the A, but she and I discussed FOM a lot. I was pimping her for info on him for years before we crossed any lines. Anyway, she once told me about his college days and how often he picked up women for one night stands.

The thought of that was always on my mind when we were together and made it easy for me to not go any further.

LC

This thread just can't be bumped enough.

To all BSs: PROTECT YOURSELF! The threat of an STD is very real, don't think it couldn't happen to you!

hey, LC-

I edited the original post 2 days ago to include saturn risings info. Is the edit unclear? I want to make sure this is as clear as possible.

No, it obviously wasn't very clear or I would not have replied as I did. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What confused me is that your post about it being a blood test is still on here (page 2) and I thought it was an after thought beyond your original post.

LC

I just found out a week agothat the OM has HSV II and until then it never crossed my mind about the STD issue for my WS or myself. HSV II is for life and is not curable and can be spread even with the use of a condom through sloughing of the virus even when an outbreak is not present. This is something I never knew.

From my extensive research and consultation with a doctor the HSV II IgG blood test which detects for the HSV antibodies in your blood is the most accurate test. However, it usually takes up to 16 weeks after you are infected for HSV anti-bodies to be present.

STD's are very real and very scary and in my case HSV II could have just as easily been HIV. This is not something you should ever take chance with.

I hope your tests come out okay MIN.

I had a thought..

For those impacted by an STD that they get from a spouse that is divorcing them, I would bet that some legal action could be taken against the spouse for the reckless behavior which resulted in an STD.

If I were on a one way road to divorce, I would consult an attorney. There should be an assumption in marriage that it is safe to have sex with your spouse.

Legal action against a former spouse for transmission of STD can be very tricky. The plaintiff has the burden of proof and that can be a very tough task. It's often a dificult task to eliminate the possibility that the STD didn't come from other partners that the complaining spouse had either before, during, or after marriage.

MIN: I hope your test is negative. My Dr. told me the test was fairly accurate after 6 weeks had passed, yup, HSV2 courtesy of OM here.

I don't know about a suit against the spouse, but I have a suit against the OM for reckless endangerment and knowingly spreading HSV2. If you need it I'd give you the language my lawyer used in the suit and the strategy we are persuing.

Anyhow, hope you both test clean, and hope very much that others heed the warning!

Its really quite surprising that Harley does not mention this risk in any of his materials that I've even come across. I almost consider that to be a glaring ommission. I guess everyone should know the risk they assume.