Can anyone point me to any threads that might have been posted that would help my wife understand her addiction to the OM?

She is trying to gain some direction for herself on understanding her issue, realizing she's not alone and how to help work herself out of the situation.

She's expressed intrest in the information here but having difficulty locating it I am digging thru the old threads here myself but I'm not having a ton of luck yet

Thanks for any assistance

I don't know if this will help or not, but I was addicted to my OM and almost lost everything for him, when he was a POS who was completely beneath me.

And I was totally addicted. I was disgusting like an addict, I couldn't wait for my next fix of attention, SF, and DRAMA. I cannot believe, looking back, how hopped up on drama I was all the time. Everything seemed so INTENSE, and I look at it now and it was so banal and stupid.

Here's my thread:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post3359192

Here is the best thread for a recovering wayward wife. I bumped it as well. dorry's guide to recovery for wayward wives

It is best not to try to educate the wayward. Will she agree to one counseling session with the Harley's? Costly, but so is divorce.

THanks gang.
Believer after the personal time I've invested in the website I agree wholeheartedly, I am working (after the xmas bump) to get the funds together to spend some time with Dr. Harley. After what I've learned here in the short time is I can't fix this nor can she without help. I don't think it'd be beneficial to either of us to attempt it as far as our problem has evolved.

My concern in the short term is me being able to back up what i told her tonite. "I found a website that has about 4 zillion other people going through this, we're not alone.."

Right now she's feeling like she's the only one suffering and I'm just trying to give her some peace of mind, regardless of OUR marriage that there's light at the end of the tunnel for her.

I know it seems expensive. I never got the counseling, but instead am divorced. And that was very costly. Now my ex wants to get together again, but I'm done.

If you can possible get the money together for even ONE session, it would help. The Harleys are good at talking to the wandering spouse. They are experienced and can cut to the chase.

There is a lot of info here on the home page, and in the different threads, but we really don't advise inviting the wayward here, because it limits YOUR support.

M_R,

Here's a fantastic article about the research of Helen Fisher describing the three stages of love and the biochemistry associated with them. The "attraction" stage....describes the addiction of affairs perfectly:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/

Believer.. that makes alot of sense. But at the same time kinda stinks, I've been trying to share the MB site with as many people that will listen because I believe in it. The one person I *need* to believe in it, it's not such a good idea for me to share it with! LOL

Like I said, makes perfect sense though and I agree with you. I guess I'm just frustrated that she's making an effort to join me back down here on earth, she's suffering and it stinks to watch.

At the same time.. i'm not thinking this is a miracle. Too many nights I spent here with her not caring about what I felt and I haven't forgotten that. My heart however won't turn her away if she's reaching out. I have sent a message to Dr. Harley requesting an Appt. I don't know what his schedule will be with the holiday. Guess I'm just trying to say I'm willing to put the two of them in touch, the rest is up to her. I'm extremely close to a plan b and I just wanted to give her the opportunity before I put it into play.

Your right, it's a minimal investment for what is at stake. Either it's going to lead us to a stronger marriage or at the very least I can hope it makes her a stronger person.

Thanks as always for your support <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Have you read Dr. Harley's SAA & HNHN? Read it and leave the book lying around. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> If she is truly interested, she may take a peak and that will help set the stage for an MC w/Jennifer C @ MB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.