My H has informed me that he wants to separate. All the details are in my thread on the EN board if you want some extra reading material.

I feel like I need to get a lawyer at this point to at least understand how to strengthen my position and not do anything that will damage me in the future in case he decides to file for D. I don't want to wait until the papers show up and be unprepared to deal with those consequences.

I plan to do all I can to save this M, but I also don't want to be taken advantage of in case he files.

Can someone tell me the best way to find a good and fair lawyer? The only friend I know who has been through a D recently had a lousy lawyer so her reference will mean nothing.

I used my father-in-law, who was a sheriff deputy. Find someone who deals with this (counselors, etc), and try to get one who WINS when you need your rights to be protected, but who will support you with regards to saving the marriage (which means little in the way of fees for them).

They're out there, but they can be hard to find. At least you can cross one off your list.

(edited for atrocious, atroscious, well... BAD spelling)

This is a good question for the divorced/divorcing board.

As an attorney myself, I would try to find a small firm where the lawyer you hire is the lawyer that handles your case as opposed to a divorce mill (that advertises) where they will hand most, if not all, of your case to an associate. Associates are under a lot of pressure to bill tons of hours. Associates will absorb your retainer in no time.

One of the best places to get a recommendation is the county/city court clerks where the divorces take place. If you or anyone you know, knows someone there ask one of them who THEY would hire if they or a loved one were getting divorced. You may even be able to go to the clerks counter at the courthouse and ask that question. They are typically under strict rules not to give legal advice so you have to buddy up to them and word your questions carefully (i.e. - ask them who THEY would hire, no who YOU should hire).

Legal secretaries are also good sources of information. They often know all the gossip about all the lawyers in town. More likely they can tell you who NOT to hire.

Mr. Wondering

Thanks for the tips, MrW. I actually was googling this afternoon and called a few firms but couldn't get anyone on the phone. I was targeting larger firms - didn't understand how they operate. I'll change my criteria.